As you may have noticed, yesterday's post is missing in action
I chose to place it in drafts for this reason:
Though yesterday held promise of being a five star day
As morning became afternoon, I experienced a hard day's night
Once the day darkened and I'd read much of which had originally been written
I couldn't believe that I'd seen fit to publish that post
Perhaps while writing, I was unaware of emotional turmoil
Bouncing around inside my head for these reasons:
Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's passing and
While standing in the cemetery, the reality of
Both of my parents, at rest, side by side
Felt so surreal that I still can't believe it's true, suggesting that
I've not come to accept the fact that both are gone for all time
Secondly, we received a call from David, who thank God is fine …
While driving on the freeway, going 70 mph, he blew a tire
Blew a tire at 70mph—as I said—thank God he's fine
The fact that his car was totaled did not faze us, at all
The fact that upon swerving out of control on the freeway
His car hit nothing and nothing hit him suggests that
Lady Luck smiled on our youngest son
And though, thanks to our line of control
Our family went straight into solution seeking mode
My digestive system took a tumble, suggesting that
Unresolved subconscious fear, concerning
Yesteryear's accident, which came close to putting out my lights
Must have slipped out of a dark pocket in my mind, causing
Physical sensations of reactiveness to crash through my defensive wall
At any rate, once that which had originally been published was reread
I withdrew that post, which
I've not yet had a chance to edit for this reason:
I was unable to connect to the internet, all day, today
Though that offered my mind reason to rest, I'm still tired
You see, yesterday I awakened with reason to enjoy a five star day
Then I stood before my parents' graves, wrestling with reality
And frustration hit hard as I came to see that
No amount of percolating could come up with
A simple plan to bring them back to earth
That night I must have wrestled with quite a nightmare
Because Will had to comfort me as
I'd cried out in my sleep—multiple times …
I figure that two fears emerged and crashed head on …
Do you remember the subconscious fear that
Compelled me to buy an extra grave?
Had I not reread the jumbled post I'd authored ...
Had my disgestive system not tumbled upside down ...
Had my crying out in the dark of the night not awakened Will …
I'd have no clue as to how distressed I must have been, deep inside …
Thank goodness, today proved quiet and peaceful, and
Tomorrow, I'll look forward to enjoying the five star day that
I'd thought to be mine, yesterday …
Uhh—hold the phone—on second thought
Yesterday was a five star day, after all—
David blew a tire at 70mph and walked away without a scratch!
Each time fear makes a jumble of my thought processors' ability to
Amplify simplicity over confusion
I take a time out until the smartest portion of
My think tank sets fear to one side
Thus freeing my whole brain to re-consider
The bigger picture until positive focus
Offers me sound reason to rejoice over my good fortune:
Whereas David had a terrifying experience
My son is now excited about choosing a new car
As for me ... I feel thankful for
The power of objective reflection, which
Reminds me not to throw the baby out with the bath water ...
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