25/26
At some point my conversation with Mom swerves towards the golden years and late bloomers, so let's pause for a moment to touch on those subjects: I believe we're all late bloomers in one way or another. If you ask what makes me say that, I'd reply: Life's lessons don't come in ABC order, so while you're butting heads with one lesson, I'm probably crashing into another—and as, over our lifetimes, no one bumps up against every insight that inspires us to better our lives, we tend to call those who seem to have awakened after sleep walking through one stage of life or another—late bloomers. You know, like Rip Van Winkle. Having expressed my belief that we're all late to bloom in one way or another, let's push play and resume my conversation with Mom:
2002
At some point my conversation with Mom swerves towards the golden years and late bloomers, so let's pause for a moment to touch on those subjects: I believe we're all late bloomers in one way or another. If you ask what makes me say that, I'd reply: Life's lessons don't come in ABC order, so while you're butting heads with one lesson, I'm probably crashing into another—and as, over our lifetimes, no one bumps up against every insight that inspires us to better our lives, we tend to call those who seem to have awakened after sleep walking through one stage of life or another—late bloomers. You know, like Rip Van Winkle. Having expressed my belief that we're all late to bloom in one way or another, let's push play and resume my conversation with Mom:
2002
"… my thoughts about ‘late bloomers’ have changed in this way: I believe we bloom in different aspects of life—each in his own good time. I believe that during our golden years, those with open minds and youthful outlooks continue to expand their mindsets and comfort zones, thus growing sweeter, more peaceful and wiser while others, who've not worked towards accepting the inevitability of changes, which we'd not choose, freely, grow ever more wizened, grumpy, and rude—or if not rude—then the spirit of that person, who remains at odds with processing through classic stages of inevitable change, may withdraw, ever more sadly into seclusion. As for me, I hope to grow attentive to those times when lessons, concerning mind expansion (which, at first, cause my equilibrium to unbalance), beckon, repeatedly, for sound reason. And knowing how readily inner conflict gives rise to defensive reactions, I focus consciously to hold onto my sense of solution-seeking logic, which would otherwise succumb to my basic instinct to fight/freeze/or flee.
At this point, Mom jumps in with, “Annie, how many people do you know who think like that?”
“Actually, Mom, more people, now, than ever before. There's so much self-help information at our finger tips, concerning disengaging from power struggles, today. I believe that at all ages, both genders hunger for emotional intelligence in hopes of connecting with others meaningfully by embracing reality over the ‘perfect show’. Thank goodness the media is drawing the bell-shaped curve into the future, where a wealth of knowledge waits to be absorbed concerning the fact that denial prevents us from identifying the crux of our problems. Rather than waiting impatiently for knowledge, concerning false fronts, to grow widespread, I chose to be part of the solution by penning hard won lessons that empower me to take control over my life. It's my hope that by telling stories, ladened with insight, others will examine their attitudes, expand their mindsets, and consider the wide selection of choices that separate polar opposites, such as selfishness from selflessness. Socrates pleaded with his peers to know themselves, centuries ago. Rather than approaching my peers, I tend to share my thoughts with a younger crowd, whom I've begun to call The Self-help Generation.
Needless to say, early trauma isn’t the only factor that causes a person’s emotional center to shift. Too much of anything can unbalance clarity, concerning our hold on reality. Kids can be raised with too much money, or too much poverty. Too much criticism—not enough encouragement. Too much coddled smothering, or too few smiles and hugs. Too much attentive nurturing from one parent while feeling ignored, invisible, and constantly disappointing to the other. Each time the bell shaped curve comes to mind, I envision the silent majority playing it safe by huddling, together, sticking as close to that which is widely accepted as possible: If insecurity narrows our comfort zones then sheep, seeking safety in numbers, grow subconsciously fearful of expressing themselves, openly, as unique individuals. Most people do not think of themselves as belonging to the animal kingdom, but all of us do. When the herding instinct causes existential needs to repress over long, we bite, sniff, and pounce like hungry beasts—because LIFE is our jungle, and when we're hungry to satisfy unmet needs, logic succumbs to survival instincts, which rule supreme. *Though it's true that all animals adhere to the theory of ‘survival of the fittest’, I’ll bet few people have a clue as to how naive our intelligent minds prove to be. I remember a remark uttered by one of our guy friends, newly married for the second time: ‘My new wife doesn’t have any baggage; what you see is what you get.’ I remember thinking, ‘Yeah, right. You’ve met the ‘perfect’ Juliette. Good luck, Romeo.’ ”
Needless to say, early trauma isn’t the only factor that causes a person’s emotional center to shift. Too much of anything can unbalance clarity, concerning our hold on reality. Kids can be raised with too much money, or too much poverty. Too much criticism—not enough encouragement. Too much coddled smothering, or too few smiles and hugs. Too much attentive nurturing from one parent while feeling ignored, invisible, and constantly disappointing to the other. Each time the bell shaped curve comes to mind, I envision the silent majority playing it safe by huddling, together, sticking as close to that which is widely accepted as possible: If insecurity narrows our comfort zones then sheep, seeking safety in numbers, grow subconsciously fearful of expressing themselves, openly, as unique individuals. Most people do not think of themselves as belonging to the animal kingdom, but all of us do. When the herding instinct causes existential needs to repress over long, we bite, sniff, and pounce like hungry beasts—because LIFE is our jungle, and when we're hungry to satisfy unmet needs, logic succumbs to survival instincts, which rule supreme. *Though it's true that all animals adhere to the theory of ‘survival of the fittest’, I’ll bet few people have a clue as to how naive our intelligent minds prove to be. I remember a remark uttered by one of our guy friends, newly married for the second time: ‘My new wife doesn’t have any baggage; what you see is what you get.’ I remember thinking, ‘Yeah, right. You’ve met the ‘perfect’ Juliette. Good luck, Romeo.’ ”
If you watch stars (?) on reality shows, flinging passive-aggressive put downs, left and right, you play witness to how blind we tend to be to those times when our baggage is hanging out in plain sight. I can't 'stomach' reality shows. Why? I see defensive insecurity hanging out, wherever I go. When I find myself channel surfing, while relaxing in front of the T.V., I'm looking to enjoy a bit of down time that doesn't irritate my intelligence. Since reality shows make me think about my work, both personally and professionally, I click them off as fast as insulting remarks, devoid of self discipline, tact, or compassion, flash across the screen. Imagine a CPA, sitting down to relax, watching a show called TACKLING TAXES, during the month of March! Ha! Not gonna happen! How about a surgeon, surfing channels after a twelve hour day in the O/R … how often might he choose to watch this show: BOTCHED SURGERIES GO TO COURT. Think never.
By the way, I've decided to give my perfectionistic tendencies a break. I've given up on the idea of back tracking to the beginning of my blog to clean up posts written, long ago. It's enough to clarify, today's train of thought before pushing publish and leaving the house with fun in mind. Take yesterday: Spent the morning enjoying two of my girls—one of whom is cutting baby teeth and was in need of a nap after lunch. Wrote throughout the afternoon. Rested at bit. Cocktail-partied with neighbors—dressed in green—top'o'the'mornin'to all year lads and lassies (this post was originally penned in March)—followed by dinner with dear friends. Yesterday offered up all that we hope the Golden Years will provide, more often than not. Though life and decisions are known to change on the spin of a dime, my most important values remain consistently grounded with a hint of wiggle room, providing for personal growth, so here's my new posting plan: I'll continue to write and edit recent posts with attention to detail—because attention to detail proves necessary to my peace of mind. As to posts penned, long ago, I'll relax with this fact: Yesteryear's unedited complexities are a thing of the past … Ahh! That change in my attitude simplified my to-do list by erasing a mental weight, which had been carried forward by the perfectionistic portion of my mind.
2014
As for now—I'll press publish and enjoy the warmth of the sun while relaxing my body and mind on the glider situated on the redwood deck leading up to the forest green front door of my magic place, which had faced a dirt road until recently when our community of cabins decided to pave it. Our rustic, cozy cabin, surrounded by tall Ponderosa Pines, has offered our family weekend getaways for more than thirty five years. Every now and then, Will and I look forward to driving up with Steven and Celina, and as summer in the desert is hotter than blazes, we four spent this weekend enjoying the cool breeze offered up by our forest retreat, where it's a given that our spirits rejoice in change for the better …
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