Each time some aspect of my life remains mired in confusion over long, that sense of confusion signals me to work toward retrieving another 'lost' piece of my puzzle.
It’s not as though I know which puzzle pieces are in need of ‘recovery’.
It’s more like I can sense that when all is not well for quite a spell, it’s wise to look in instead of assuming that someone else is at fault.
ABC No more bullies, victims or villains for me!
Each time a memory pops out that I forgot to remember, insight hits: Billy craved my attention. John’s fury conveyed hurt rather than hate.
Each time a confusing detail pops up and settles into its proper place, my narrow perception of the ‘bigger picture’ expands.
As my perception expands, my perspective, concerning both sides of human nature reshapes. For instance, the anger I'd repressed regarding the sixth grade girls relaxed when this question came to mind: Why did I feel like sticking pins into them, but not into myself? Did I invite all of the girls in my class to my slumber parties? As we can see on others that which we're blind to within ourselves makes pots and kettles of us, all.
The more I see of myself
The less judgmental of others
I become.
Less judgment inspires more compassion
TA DA!
When it comes to communication skills, here are the most important insights that I’ve absorbed, thus far:
I can’t communicate clearly with others until my mind clears of misperception born of FEAR.
Each fear that pops out of my subconscious is always a surprise to me.
No matter how much I sponge up, concerning: speaking skills, listening skills, primal needs, basic instincts, attitudes, thought processing pathways, self-motivation, clarity, repression, suppression, sensitivity, fearful mazes, self control and letting go—there’s more to learn about subconscious mind games that we don't know we play.
As each story unfolds, we'll watch me learn something new, because …
Adventures
Into self awareness
Have no end
If the brain is the new frontier
I'm happy to ride the wagon train
And call myself a pioneer.
Thank goodness my curious mind
Musters the humility to set my ego aside
In order to explore that which I need to know—about myself
Each time I open my mind
And absorb something to which I'd been blind
A vulnerability, which had weakened me, strengthens
Each time humility sets my ego to the side
I am able to muster courage under fire
And thus do vulnerabilities develop into acquired strengths
As for now here is
One last question and insight
For today:
Who was I subconsciously mad at when my instincts fought Joseph off?
When the mind misperceives one person for another, innocent people become scapegoats.
I have faith that given time, this mystery will be resolved.
☺Your friend, Annie
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