One day while I was writing away, a young man, who is like a son, stepped into my office and opened his heart to me: I'm falling for a girl who can't decide between another guy and me.
I smiled to think about how often triangles spice up desire and suggested that he not allow another person's indecision to make him feel insecure, because insecurity loses for sure.
I went on to say that rather than insecurity, women are instinctively drawn to strength and sensitivity. Then I wished my young friend well and resumed writing.
Though this conversation occurred several years ago, I think I know why it popped into my mind after thumbing through Millan's book, THE PACK LEADER—
A calm-assertive pack leader is instinctively strong and sensitive in these ways:
A calm-assertive leader is strong in developing the courage to protect the pack as a whole.
A calm-assertive leader is instinctively sensitive as to when to fight or flee a clear and present danger that threatens the pack as a whole.
A calm-assertive leader is instinctively strong in inspiring the confidence of the pack to follow its lead.
A calm-assertive leader is instinctively sensitive to those times when vulnerable members of the pack are in need of protection from aggression.
So what separates a calm-assertive pack leader in the lower animal kingdom from astutely thoughtful leaders of human beings?
The thoughtfully astute human leader makes good use of Mother Nature's gift of the Neo cortex in these ways:
The thoughtfully astute human leader seeks to identify personal vulnerabilities that weaken the leader's calm-assertive leadership strengths.
The thoughtfully astute human leader exhibits the sensitivity to encourage each member of the pack to succeed rather than putting the vulnerabilities of others down. And thus does the pack strengthen as a whole.
How can we know when a strong, sensitive, positively focused, astutely thoughtful human leader walks with assertive confidence into a room?
Any spirit, free of fear or envy, instinctively lifts.
This is not to say that strong, sensitive, positively focused, astutely thoughtful human leaders do not make mistakes.
One strength of a strong, sensitive, positively focused, astutely thoughtful human leader is accepting accountability for being as imperfectly human as the next guy.
The wise young man and his lovely wife are expecting their second child.
If a young man came to me with that dilemma, today, I'd revise my reply in this way:
Historically, the human spirit is instinctively drawn to strength and sensitivity.
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