1103 (36A) NO! NO! NOT AGAIN! REVISITED 46 (Most important …)

36A
2002
When Mom seems concerned about my writing an autobiographical accounting of my life, I clarify my motivation:
"If I white wash our family's history there’s no purpose in my writing, at all…  I’m penning our saga to inspire individuals, couples, siblings and friends to set false pride aside in favor of mustering the humility to acknowledge human vulnerabilities in need of strengthening.  *I wonder how many people realize that courage and humility are the first strengths we need to garner before our minds open to soaking in wisdom, leading to positive change for the better, all around.

*I hope to show how counselors, who listen so astutely as to respond with accuracy, encourage us to connect ever more courageously with insight into identifying insecurities, which darken our viewpoints, thus creating distorted mis/perceptions.

*Each time insight into subconscious insecurities emerge, I can work at developing strengths necessary to confront my negative attitudes with a greater sense of clarity than before.

*By illustrating the ways in which insight into creating positively focused change for the better provide me with a sense of balance, my stories may inspire others to choose to dive into the deep end of their minds, where confusing mind mazes cause specific aspects of your life and mine to spiral downhill. Each time clarity replaces confusion, the most confounding aspects of my life begin to make sense, and thus does clarity empower me to make good use of common sense to straighten out downhill spirals and turn them around, thus reviving peace of mind before the problem at hand has been resolved.  (Many examples in stories to come)

Each time insight into common sense flashes like a bolt of lightning through my mind, I'm amazed to see another hot spot of defensive insecurity light up.  And once this subconscious insecurity, carried forth since childhood, shows itself, I understand why my perception has darkened another slice of reality.

*Whenever a self-conceived distortion clarifies, I can soothe my natural reaction of humiliation by consciously calling forth the calming effect of humility, which stops defensive reactions from grabbing control over my mind.  And what, I ask, results in a more heartening attitude than carving a step-by-step approach toward self empowerment by embracing a humble sense of compassion for everyone who's caught up in a net of pain ... including me.  I'm not going to write anything bad about anyone in our family, Mom.  I just feel the need to clarify deeper truths that we're all afraid to face ..."

"Annie, trying to picture what goes on in your mind makes me dizzy!"

After laughing at the truth, I reply:  "I'm sure that's true, Mom.  But, I'd rather see my mind as a beehive producing honey than a hornets' nest stinging with discontent."

"How in the world can you convey all of this in your stories?"

That question makes me dig deep, So I hunker down for a moment before this response pops out of my mouth, as though all on it's own …

*Well, some stories will show my ego puffing up like a balloon filled with hot air, while others may inspire readers to work consciously at shifting their need to wield power toward guiding their children (who unconsciously emulate their role models) to develop a step-by-step approach to problem solving as a team—as in:  Little-monkey-see-what-big-monkey-do-and-then-little-monkey-tends-to-do-it-too.  Once a parent quests, openly, toward developing depth in self awareness, I believe their offspring are likely to follow suit.  Now that the boys are grown, I've watched as they unknowingly, emulate Will's traits or mine as each of us confronts whatever life has in store for our family, next.

As one story rolls into another, I can also demonstrate our nation's need to conserve energy in more ways than we'd think.  As a nation of men and women, addicted to work, we need to slow down the pace of our lives and think smart about how we speak to, spend time with, educate and influence the attitudes of children, who are developing into tomorrow's world leaders.  If attitude is everything then, one day, our children's attitudes (absorbed at home) will be in charge of leading us. I hope to offer insights, which prove so far sighted as to stimulate the silent majority to ask questions such as these:  Where will our children take US (individually and as a nation) as we age?  Will our nation remain at the peak of our development or will Jack and Jill tumble farther downhill?  *If we yell at our kids, today, should we be surprised if they yell at us, when we're old, vulnerable and in need of their time, energy and compassionate help?  Just as impatience swings both ways, compassion does the same.  If someone flings anger at me, which I do not deserve, shall I strike back or deflect the natural arousal of defensiveness as best I can by chanting the wisdom of Gandhi's mantra inside my head:  Be the change you wish for the world.  By consciously choosing Gandhi's peaceful approach to self empowerment, I depend upon my line of control to tame defensiveness, thus engaging my entire think tank to listen clearly to that which is storming around my head instead of getting caught up in the swirl of the storm, myself.  By identifying and refusing to engage in subtle power struggles, my calm mind can answer with insight into deeper truth, right on the spot.

Like snowflakes, every child develops into a unique individual.  With that thought in mind, I hope to inspire as many adult minds as possible to seek insight into understanding where one child's vulnerability differs from the next. If the apple doth not fall far from the tree and if siblings seem to grow into each other's opposites then it makes sense to consider this next question, seriously: *What might cause one child to absorb certain traits from one role modeling parent while another child in the same family tends to absorb more traits from the other?

"So, you plan to answer these questions in your stories?"

"Well, I'll answer what I can and address delemmas, which continue to confound me, by asking readers to add their two cents in the comment box, which is provided at the end of each post. As most of what I write combines research with personal experience, I'm eager to expand my mind with enriching insights, which others have researched and experienced, as well.

Children are not in need of role models who value flying-as-high-as-the-Jones’s. *Children need calm, dependable role models, whose lives are grounded in well-balanced values, like values that offered thirteen struggling colonies countless opportunities to develop into a world power second to none.

We need to gain insight into the fact that our nation will spin out-of-control as long as our high-flying life style sets such unrealistic expectations on immediate gratification.  Otherwise, we’re bound to smash, blindly, into a brick wall of our own making—again and again.  And if there's a first time for everything then our next crash may prove too severe from which to bounce back ….  I often wonder how long it takes for a nation's waining strengths to implode ...