But Mom, said Barry, demonstrating a high degree of self trust, I'm really careful! And Big Red has plenty of room for all of us.
I know you're careful, Barry
But you're a brand new driver
And the driver is responsible for everyone's safety
Piling eight of your friends into Big Red compresses too much raw, teen aged energy into the confines of our car.
But Mom, I can handle it!
Well you may be able able to handle it ...
But I can't
It's enough for me to handle the fact that you're driving yourself!
But Mom ...
No more 'buts' ...
I'm no where near being used to your driving off on your own. I can't handle your being responsible for anyone else's safety until my mindset has time to expand to a comfortable place with you behind the wheel.
But Mom, implored the prowess of my son's future lawyering reasoning powers, you let me drive Steven and David.
Yes I do ... and that fact alone suggests my faith in you. The difference between my agreeing to your driving off with the contents of my heart's treasure chest in your capable hands vs. filling the car with your friends is this fact: I raised you and your brothers to pull common sense out of your brains more often than most of the adults I know, who've yet to get a handle on how to do that on the spot :)
Now, Barry, identifying with positive side of the bigger picture inherent in his mom's reply, accepts the logic behind her fearful reaction to his piling raw, uncontrolled, teen-aged TNT into Big Red :)
But Mom ... my friends expect me to take them ...
So tell them the truth and make me the heavy. Tell your friends that if I get wind of your carting them around without my permission, your carriage will turn back into a pumpkin—and you'll be pedaling your bike ...
So ... did Barry drive his gang to lunch, anyway?
I have no clue, so I can't answer that
But I can tell you this ...
Had authority told my son's sense of pride that he couldn't handle all those kids, he'd have felt insulted, catalyzing his defense system to rise up and lock horns against leadership's attachment to logic.
Then, if ownership of the keys made a power play, a teen-aged defensive attitude would have lit a fire under resentment, smoldering deep inside the bullish nature of an adolescent mind, which was actively and age appropriately experimenting with the development of independent thought—which, as we move from one stage toward the next, proves to be a life long process.
As our family had come to rely upon The Line of Control to keep our minds calm while engaging in tense situations, we'd learned to keep our wits about us whenever any difference of opinion that seemed ripe for escalation arose. And by learning which tool to pull out of our think tanks during moments fraught with emotional conflict, we'd stop defensive reactions from disregarding logic.
Each time leadership thought to pull out logical reasoning techniques without insulting an inexperienced individual's sensitivities, our attention remained focused on choosing logical pathways of thought. Therefore negativity, based in fearful loss of autonomy, did not lock horns with common sense during solution-seeking discussions.
Once Barry's intelligence targeted the true fact that my mind needed time to process acceptance of a change in attitude that challenged my sense of his safety, he accepted my readiness to comply with his ability to drive himself but lack of readiness in allowing him the freedom to pile raw teen-aged energy into Big Red. And thus did parent and teen successfully negotiate this first new rule (limit), concerning teen-aged driving, where no rule had been necessary previously—without causing injury to a teen-ager's sense of personal pride.
Barry's chick magnet brain storm coming up in part 3 :)
I know you're careful, Barry
But you're a brand new driver
And the driver is responsible for everyone's safety
Piling eight of your friends into Big Red compresses too much raw, teen aged energy into the confines of our car.
But Mom, I can handle it!
Well you may be able able to handle it ...
But I can't
It's enough for me to handle the fact that you're driving yourself!
But Mom ...
No more 'buts' ...
I'm no where near being used to your driving off on your own. I can't handle your being responsible for anyone else's safety until my mindset has time to expand to a comfortable place with you behind the wheel.
But Mom, implored the prowess of my son's future lawyering reasoning powers, you let me drive Steven and David.
Yes I do ... and that fact alone suggests my faith in you. The difference between my agreeing to your driving off with the contents of my heart's treasure chest in your capable hands vs. filling the car with your friends is this fact: I raised you and your brothers to pull common sense out of your brains more often than most of the adults I know, who've yet to get a handle on how to do that on the spot :)
Now, Barry, identifying with positive side of the bigger picture inherent in his mom's reply, accepts the logic behind her fearful reaction to his piling raw, uncontrolled, teen-aged TNT into Big Red :)
But Mom ... my friends expect me to take them ...
So tell them the truth and make me the heavy. Tell your friends that if I get wind of your carting them around without my permission, your carriage will turn back into a pumpkin—and you'll be pedaling your bike ...
So ... did Barry drive his gang to lunch, anyway?
I have no clue, so I can't answer that
But I can tell you this ...
Had authority told my son's sense of pride that he couldn't handle all those kids, he'd have felt insulted, catalyzing his defense system to rise up and lock horns against leadership's attachment to logic.
Then, if ownership of the keys made a power play, a teen-aged defensive attitude would have lit a fire under resentment, smoldering deep inside the bullish nature of an adolescent mind, which was actively and age appropriately experimenting with the development of independent thought—which, as we move from one stage toward the next, proves to be a life long process.
As our family had come to rely upon The Line of Control to keep our minds calm while engaging in tense situations, we'd learned to keep our wits about us whenever any difference of opinion that seemed ripe for escalation arose. And by learning which tool to pull out of our think tanks during moments fraught with emotional conflict, we'd stop defensive reactions from disregarding logic.
Each time leadership thought to pull out logical reasoning techniques without insulting an inexperienced individual's sensitivities, our attention remained focused on choosing logical pathways of thought. Therefore negativity, based in fearful loss of autonomy, did not lock horns with common sense during solution-seeking discussions.
Once Barry's intelligence targeted the true fact that my mind needed time to process acceptance of a change in attitude that challenged my sense of his safety, he accepted my readiness to comply with his ability to drive himself but lack of readiness in allowing him the freedom to pile raw teen-aged energy into Big Red. And thus did parent and teen successfully negotiate this first new rule (limit), concerning teen-aged driving, where no rule had been necessary previously—without causing injury to a teen-ager's sense of personal pride.
Barry's chick magnet brain storm coming up in part 3 :)
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