Once again, I'm about to write without having time to edit before posting ... so let's take a deep breath and dive into my think tank in search of a pearl or two waiting to emerge from this oyster stew, simmering in my mind :)
I'd become accustomed to facilitating workshops and seminars
At professional conferences when, at the end of one of them,
a magazine publisher approaches the podium and asks if I can write :)
Self trust smiles and answers yes
After writing a column as contributing editor for several years
As well as writing quite a few articles
Which had been published in additional parenting magazines
I'm asked to speak on a radio show concerning raising kids
I'm prepared to respond to questions regarding
How one inspires the minds of children to share, patiently, generously
Upon listening to the first question (which I can't remember, now)
I begin to respond, naturally and before I know it
The half hour allotted to this program has passed
Once we're off the air, the interviewer turns to me and
Flashing a smile, she says—I've never experienced
Such an easy show as today's ...
You breezed through every question on my sheet before
I had a chance to ask more than one
The interviewer's comment on my loquaciousness made me smile
After all, I am accustomed to facilitating seminars requiring me to
Speak for two hours before fielding questions from participants
As the interviewer's satisfaction was obvious while
She thanked me for sharing my perceptions about ... sharing
I left the radio studio surmising ... Oh good ...
This show airs weekly, suggesting
My being asked back, time and again, thus
Offering me opportunities to share knowledge with
A much wider audience than those who'd registered
Each semester for my classes and seminars at the college
Though that was my perception ...
Didn't happen
Why not?
I have no clue
Most likely, other speakers had been lined up, months in advance ...
Anyway, while that mystery lingers in mind, for all time ...
Here's a sampling of insights that tripped off my tongue on the air once
My thoughts about sharing had been stirred:
We share from a place of 'community' in mind
Anyone who is forced to share is not sharing
A person forced to share is not mindful of generosity
A person forced to share feels rightfully
Deprived of mind and spirit's freedom of choice
Feelings of deprivation are bound to create resentment, inside
As resentment is a form of repressed anger
And as anger is a form of negatively focused emotional energy
Anger, repressed, is known to build up, like
Emotional TNT waiting for an unsettling, super-charged moment to explode
Resentment repressed, over long, transforms into depression ...
And when anger, due to deprivation, is repressed into depression
That proves to be an exceptionally unhealthy way
For the human spirit to choose to live, over long
Actually, it is not the spirit that chooses deprivation ...
It is the mind, which forms mindsets that block
The human spirit's need to experience and embrace personal growth
Having absorbed these insights during therapy
My decisions, today, are mindful of choosing to offer my spirit
Experiences that balance the needs of my loved ones with my own
At some point I'll feel the need to pen a post
Detailing insights that tripped off my tongue on the radio
These insights touch upon thoughts that inspired me to
Teach my children to freely choose to share some
But not necessarily all of their toys ... just as I choose to share
Some but not all of of my thoughts for public consumption :)
Insight into discretion is another post that my spirit longs to write :)
As for right now, let's switch this train of thought
Straight into the car sharing plan
That actually shaped up inside my well-practiced mind, over night :)
On Monday, Steven drove to school early while
His older brother rode shotgun ...
Quite a switch for these two!!!
Steven chose to drive early, because Barry had to arrive in time
To attend a student government meeting
After school, the boys decided to
Switch back to whatever had normally ensued
Suggesting that Steven must have gotten a ride
So that Barry could drive himself home after football practice
Once we three were home and seated around the kitchen table
The boys began to consider my logic behind devising a plan
That proved workable for two years and beyond:
First I asked them to consider the bigger picture:
Though Big Red was a family car
Oldest brother, Barry, had formed a mindset that felt
As though this third means of transportation was his own
And that mindset went unchallenged for two years because
The law had decreed Steven too young to drive on his own until—now
And thus did it become clear that the mindset most in need of change
Would be Barry's, suggesting that of us three
Oldest brother's mind faced a testier challenge when the subject of
Sharing the car arose than whatever emotional reactions might be
Stirring in Steven's mind or my own
While expressing my opinions aloud, both boys came to see
How that insight was true for this reason:
Anytime Steven got the car felt like a bonus to him ...
Anytime Barry had to concede to Steven felt like a loss to him
Once the boys gained insight into that deeper truth
Compassion for Barry filled my thoughts and Steven's as well
As feelings of compassion diminish reactions of resentment
Logical processing gains brain space, all around :)
Whew! So far so good in terms of three minds being better than two :)
Next, I turned our attention to satisfying Steven's unmet needs
We discussed the fact that Steven
Had been biting at the bit to drive for two years
At which time his brother had turned sixteen
Then, after our conversation turned toward showering younger brother's
Unmet need with compassion
I had no clue whether or not my next line of reasoning
Was going to make a dent in what Steven might deem highly unfair ...
All I could do was to go forth with a train of thought that had seemed
Logically appropriate from the vantage point of experienced leadership, so ...
Meeting Steven's eye, this is what I asked his sense of ever-developing
Maturity to generously consider ...
Your birthday and Barry's are in Jan. and Feb., two weeks apart.
Barry's been driving to school for two years
If you begin to drive to school, now, you'll be at the wheel
For two and half years before you graduate and leave for college
I am certain this will disturb your brother's sense of peace
In addition to your sense of inner peace and Barry's
We must consider mine ...
As a student body officer, Barry goes to school early
For student gov't duties
And stays late for football practice, every day
So, if you drive, you'll need to leave the house early and then go back
To school later to pick your brother up
If that's your choice, we'll work that into whatever plan
Our think tanks come up with during our family 'business' meeting, today
Otherwise, here's what makes sense to me:
Barry continues to drive to school until graduation, which allows you
To sleep in and feel free of attending to your brother's schedule
I'm sure you don't expect me to add to my daily jobs by
Driving him early and getting him later, right?
Exhibiting compassion for me, Steven's head shakes up and down but
His facial expression suggests that
He's not buying this plan for good reason, because
Logical or not ... so far, the only ones coming up roses
Seem to be Barry and me ... so ...
I continue to brainstorm with myself, aloud, because as with most plans
I'm doing most of my thinking extemporarily on my feet :)
Thankfully, my well-practiced solution-seeking mind continues to percolate:
Over the next five months, there will be lots of times on weekends
When Barry will consult the generous side of his mind to concede
Driving privileges to you freely if ... you'll continue
To ride to and from school with your best friend until June
If the generous side of your mind agrees to this plan then
Your decision to ride with your best friend, who lives a block away
Will succeed in making life easy for all three of us ...
Then, when Barry leaves for college, the car will be yours
Seven days a week for the next two years ... meaning that
During your senior year you'll not need to share it with anyone ...
Even on weekends
And as I'd taught the boys to accept the law of averages where
Most things even out, over the long run ... my reasoning began
To make sense to both, and once again presenting the bigger picture
In terms of accepting the law of averages with generosity and grace
Come clear for all three minds before dinner was devoured by
A herd of four ravenous bulls, all of whom came to freely embrace
The best side of Mother Nature's laws of peaceful co-existence as their own :)
I'd become accustomed to facilitating workshops and seminars
At professional conferences when, at the end of one of them,
a magazine publisher approaches the podium and asks if I can write :)
Self trust smiles and answers yes
After writing a column as contributing editor for several years
As well as writing quite a few articles
Which had been published in additional parenting magazines
I'm asked to speak on a radio show concerning raising kids
I'm prepared to respond to questions regarding
How one inspires the minds of children to share, patiently, generously
Upon listening to the first question (which I can't remember, now)
I begin to respond, naturally and before I know it
The half hour allotted to this program has passed
Once we're off the air, the interviewer turns to me and
Flashing a smile, she says—I've never experienced
Such an easy show as today's ...
You breezed through every question on my sheet before
I had a chance to ask more than one
The interviewer's comment on my loquaciousness made me smile
After all, I am accustomed to facilitating seminars requiring me to
Speak for two hours before fielding questions from participants
As the interviewer's satisfaction was obvious while
She thanked me for sharing my perceptions about ... sharing
I left the radio studio surmising ... Oh good ...
This show airs weekly, suggesting
My being asked back, time and again, thus
Offering me opportunities to share knowledge with
A much wider audience than those who'd registered
Each semester for my classes and seminars at the college
Though that was my perception ...
Didn't happen
Why not?
I have no clue
Most likely, other speakers had been lined up, months in advance ...
Anyway, while that mystery lingers in mind, for all time ...
Here's a sampling of insights that tripped off my tongue on the air once
My thoughts about sharing had been stirred:
We share from a place of 'community' in mind
Anyone who is forced to share is not sharing
A person forced to share is not mindful of generosity
A person forced to share feels rightfully
Deprived of mind and spirit's freedom of choice
Feelings of deprivation are bound to create resentment, inside
As resentment is a form of repressed anger
And as anger is a form of negatively focused emotional energy
Anger, repressed, is known to build up, like
Emotional TNT waiting for an unsettling, super-charged moment to explode
Resentment repressed, over long, transforms into depression ...
And when anger, due to deprivation, is repressed into depression
That proves to be an exceptionally unhealthy way
For the human spirit to choose to live, over long
Actually, it is not the spirit that chooses deprivation ...
It is the mind, which forms mindsets that block
The human spirit's need to experience and embrace personal growth
Having absorbed these insights during therapy
My decisions, today, are mindful of choosing to offer my spirit
Experiences that balance the needs of my loved ones with my own
At some point I'll feel the need to pen a post
Detailing insights that tripped off my tongue on the radio
These insights touch upon thoughts that inspired me to
Teach my children to freely choose to share some
But not necessarily all of their toys ... just as I choose to share
Some but not all of of my thoughts for public consumption :)
Insight into discretion is another post that my spirit longs to write :)
As for right now, let's switch this train of thought
Straight into the car sharing plan
That actually shaped up inside my well-practiced mind, over night :)
On Monday, Steven drove to school early while
His older brother rode shotgun ...
Quite a switch for these two!!!
Steven chose to drive early, because Barry had to arrive in time
To attend a student government meeting
After school, the boys decided to
Switch back to whatever had normally ensued
Suggesting that Steven must have gotten a ride
So that Barry could drive himself home after football practice
Once we three were home and seated around the kitchen table
The boys began to consider my logic behind devising a plan
That proved workable for two years and beyond:
First I asked them to consider the bigger picture:
Though Big Red was a family car
Oldest brother, Barry, had formed a mindset that felt
As though this third means of transportation was his own
And that mindset went unchallenged for two years because
The law had decreed Steven too young to drive on his own until—now
And thus did it become clear that the mindset most in need of change
Would be Barry's, suggesting that of us three
Oldest brother's mind faced a testier challenge when the subject of
Sharing the car arose than whatever emotional reactions might be
Stirring in Steven's mind or my own
While expressing my opinions aloud, both boys came to see
How that insight was true for this reason:
Anytime Steven got the car felt like a bonus to him ...
Anytime Barry had to concede to Steven felt like a loss to him
Once the boys gained insight into that deeper truth
Compassion for Barry filled my thoughts and Steven's as well
As feelings of compassion diminish reactions of resentment
Logical processing gains brain space, all around :)
Whew! So far so good in terms of three minds being better than two :)
Next, I turned our attention to satisfying Steven's unmet needs
We discussed the fact that Steven
Had been biting at the bit to drive for two years
At which time his brother had turned sixteen
Then, after our conversation turned toward showering younger brother's
Unmet need with compassion
I had no clue whether or not my next line of reasoning
Was going to make a dent in what Steven might deem highly unfair ...
All I could do was to go forth with a train of thought that had seemed
Logically appropriate from the vantage point of experienced leadership, so ...
Meeting Steven's eye, this is what I asked his sense of ever-developing
Maturity to generously consider ...
Your birthday and Barry's are in Jan. and Feb., two weeks apart.
Barry's been driving to school for two years
If you begin to drive to school, now, you'll be at the wheel
For two and half years before you graduate and leave for college
I am certain this will disturb your brother's sense of peace
In addition to your sense of inner peace and Barry's
We must consider mine ...
As a student body officer, Barry goes to school early
For student gov't duties
And stays late for football practice, every day
So, if you drive, you'll need to leave the house early and then go back
To school later to pick your brother up
If that's your choice, we'll work that into whatever plan
Our think tanks come up with during our family 'business' meeting, today
Otherwise, here's what makes sense to me:
Barry continues to drive to school until graduation, which allows you
To sleep in and feel free of attending to your brother's schedule
I'm sure you don't expect me to add to my daily jobs by
Driving him early and getting him later, right?
Exhibiting compassion for me, Steven's head shakes up and down but
His facial expression suggests that
He's not buying this plan for good reason, because
Logical or not ... so far, the only ones coming up roses
Seem to be Barry and me ... so ...
I continue to brainstorm with myself, aloud, because as with most plans
I'm doing most of my thinking extemporarily on my feet :)
Thankfully, my well-practiced solution-seeking mind continues to percolate:
Over the next five months, there will be lots of times on weekends
When Barry will consult the generous side of his mind to concede
Driving privileges to you freely if ... you'll continue
To ride to and from school with your best friend until June
If the generous side of your mind agrees to this plan then
Your decision to ride with your best friend, who lives a block away
Will succeed in making life easy for all three of us ...
Then, when Barry leaves for college, the car will be yours
Seven days a week for the next two years ... meaning that
During your senior year you'll not need to share it with anyone ...
Even on weekends
And as I'd taught the boys to accept the law of averages where
Most things even out, over the long run ... my reasoning began
To make sense to both, and once again presenting the bigger picture
In terms of accepting the law of averages with generosity and grace
Come clear for all three minds before dinner was devoured by
A herd of four ravenous bulls, all of whom came to freely embrace
The best side of Mother Nature's laws of peaceful co-existence as their own :)
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