When considering peace-keeping between teens who are attempting
To control emotion in hopes of grasping at logic
Consistency is 'key' to solution-seeking success
And here is why consistency—combined with creative thinking—
Proves 'key' to the success of any sanity-saving plan:
By the time my children developed into teens
Two young bulls had had enough experience butting heads with me
To believe that any consequence discussed would be
Carried out with attention to
Detailed firmness, fairness, kindness and creative consistency
In other words, they believed that this knowledgable leader
Habitually dived into the deep end of her mind until
Bigger Pictures appeared, and every time leadership had
Taken the time necessary to develop
A clear view of the many layers that
Made up the bigger picture of each conflict
A plan of action formed inside her mind that
Considered needs, all around
As soon as my sons heard leadership state that fights over the car meant neither would get it, they stopped tooting their horns in favor of switching their attitudes from power struggling for dominance to solution seeking mode.
Eventually, each time any sense of conflict arose, this attitude switch, which favored sanity-seeking, solution-mode thinking over power struggling, became as habitual for their think tanks as it was for mine. (Pat-a-cake-pat-a-cake)
Whenever it was clear that a particular conflict was bound to pop up, repeatedly, my sons and I had formed the habit of diving into our think tanks in hopes that a plan would surface that might resolve a recurrent problem for all time ... and as describing the plan, which resolved the car-sharing conflict is the topic of today's post, here comes the bigger picture that allowed a workable plan to begin to form inside my mind, over night ... uhhh wait, let's back track for a moment to consider this thought ...
Though a simple plan had formulated within my sons' minds, concerning who would drive on that first Saturday night, school days proved more challenging. And so let's retrace our steps to that weekend after Steven held his license aloft for all the world to admire ...
On Sunday night, younger son, Steven, brandishing brand new driver's license and barely able to contain excitement, wants to know if he can drive a friend to school on Monday. Upon remembering older brother's sense of pride upon driving himself—with younger brother happily riding shot gun—to school for the first time, 'Solomon' does not want to decree any decision diminishing younger son's moment of personal glory. On the other hand—
Solomon also remembers older son, frowning upon watching younger brother waving driving permit in the air, five months back. At that time, Solomon's mind began to percolate with predictions of future storm clouds, bound to cast bolts of lightening and crashes of thunder unless a plan for peaceful co-existence ensued; however, daily life offered leadership's mind so much pressing 'business' to consider that the ominous nature of resolving future conflicts was productively placed on a back burner. However, now that storm clouds loomed directly overhead, conflict, stewing, was in need of resolving before the simmering nature of older son's concern boiled over into resentful anger due to personal loss—Oy Gevalt! What's a leader to do? Oh yes! Pull bible story of Solomon off back burner and light a fire under creative thinking portion of brain in hopes of coming up with my own twist to that tale, because I can't, for the life of me, figure out how to cut our third car in half.
I mean, isn't enough that we even have a third car?
Didn't I (time to strum violin) ride two buses and an elevated train and trudge through several blocks of strong winds and deep snow with temperatures falling below zero while lugging and arm load of text books to get to eight AM classes when I was eighteen!!! And didn't I manage that back and forth trudge, five days a week—with a smile on my face for four years! And didn't that continue when I was a pregnant teacher, making my way to work, every day? Isn't it enough that we'd thought to keep the wagon for our sons instead of trading it in when their hard working father's desire for a brand new, sharp and snappy convertible offered those keys to me?
Well, actually, to my way of thinking, declaring my sons unbelievably lucky was not enough.
In my mind, keeping the peace meant ensuring that hidden resentment would not have sound reason to explode from one or the other, sooner or later. In my mind, everyone's needs would be expressed, considered and met as fairly as possible once a logical plan formulated, step by step, inside my mind—if only I wasn't so tired!!
So—with sixteen year old Seven, staring hopefully at his mother and eighteen year old Barry, starring hopefully at his mother, here is what my sons' mother said—I need to sleep on this dilemma. Hopefully, upon awakening, a workable plan will have shaped up inside my mind. Now, if you think that strategy made so much sense to two young bulls that they left me my weary mind at peace at that moment, you must not have any kids—so, please think again ...
As one who'd relied upon creative thinking for eighteen years in hopes of raising kids within an environment that proved peaceful more often than not, I've became known to be a woman whose mind never sleeps, and here's what that means—I'm not as much a Pollyana dreamer as most might think. In truth, I've developed my mind to work best in optimistic-planning mode. So while the rest of me sleeps, the subconscious portion of my mind gets busy, diving so deep as to run with a dilemma until a sanity-saving-solution-seeking plan seems to shape up on its own. As I didn't know this about myself, back then, here is what was said to two pairs of hopeful ears, waiting with bated breath to hear deeper truth flow from a wearied tree of knowledge:
Guys—I really need to sleep on it.
As you can imagine, that did not go down well ...
But, Mom, what about tomorrow?
Who gets to drive Big Red, tomorrow? (Remember former post about Big Red?)
Thank goodness, this was when memory served me well.
This was when I visualized Barry enjoying his moment of new driver glory
So turning to eldest son, Solomon asks:
Barry, do you remember your joy upon
Driving to school the day after receiving your license?
Brows furrow as eighteen year old bull's head shakes up and down
Do you think your brother deserves to experience his turn?
As taking turns is habitual in our house
Horns are pulled in as logical problem-solving mode
Assumes control over eighteen year old brain
Okay, Mom—David can drive to school, tomorrow—but
I was not able to pick up friends, right away
After smiling in agreement with Barry's skillful negotiations
Solomon turns to Steven, whose joy concedes that part of
His plan for himself
Okay, says sixteen year old bull, pulling in his horns ... but then
What about after tomorrow?
Solomon responds, I need to sleep on that one
And to tell you the truth, I don't fall asleep worried for two reasons:
I am much too tired each night not to sleep
And by now, I'd come up with so many plans as to feel assured
That something workable, tweakable, changeable, malleable and
Finally, peacefully successful will arise on it's own—given time, because
Any plan worth it's weight in salt depends upon an rested mind
That values this fact:
Change that makes sense requires time and patience
And since three minds were on the same solution-seeking wavelength
Please tune in tomorrow to see how our plan for peace shaped up :)
To control emotion in hopes of grasping at logic
Consistency is 'key' to solution-seeking success
And here is why consistency—combined with creative thinking—
Proves 'key' to the success of any sanity-saving plan:
By the time my children developed into teens
Two young bulls had had enough experience butting heads with me
To believe that any consequence discussed would be
Carried out with attention to
Detailed firmness, fairness, kindness and creative consistency
In other words, they believed that this knowledgable leader
Habitually dived into the deep end of her mind until
Bigger Pictures appeared, and every time leadership had
Taken the time necessary to develop
A clear view of the many layers that
Made up the bigger picture of each conflict
A plan of action formed inside her mind that
Considered needs, all around
As soon as my sons heard leadership state that fights over the car meant neither would get it, they stopped tooting their horns in favor of switching their attitudes from power struggling for dominance to solution seeking mode.
Eventually, each time any sense of conflict arose, this attitude switch, which favored sanity-seeking, solution-mode thinking over power struggling, became as habitual for their think tanks as it was for mine. (Pat-a-cake-pat-a-cake)
Whenever it was clear that a particular conflict was bound to pop up, repeatedly, my sons and I had formed the habit of diving into our think tanks in hopes that a plan would surface that might resolve a recurrent problem for all time ... and as describing the plan, which resolved the car-sharing conflict is the topic of today's post, here comes the bigger picture that allowed a workable plan to begin to form inside my mind, over night ... uhhh wait, let's back track for a moment to consider this thought ...
Though a simple plan had formulated within my sons' minds, concerning who would drive on that first Saturday night, school days proved more challenging. And so let's retrace our steps to that weekend after Steven held his license aloft for all the world to admire ...
On Sunday night, younger son, Steven, brandishing brand new driver's license and barely able to contain excitement, wants to know if he can drive a friend to school on Monday. Upon remembering older brother's sense of pride upon driving himself—with younger brother happily riding shot gun—to school for the first time, 'Solomon' does not want to decree any decision diminishing younger son's moment of personal glory. On the other hand—
Solomon also remembers older son, frowning upon watching younger brother waving driving permit in the air, five months back. At that time, Solomon's mind began to percolate with predictions of future storm clouds, bound to cast bolts of lightening and crashes of thunder unless a plan for peaceful co-existence ensued; however, daily life offered leadership's mind so much pressing 'business' to consider that the ominous nature of resolving future conflicts was productively placed on a back burner. However, now that storm clouds loomed directly overhead, conflict, stewing, was in need of resolving before the simmering nature of older son's concern boiled over into resentful anger due to personal loss—Oy Gevalt! What's a leader to do? Oh yes! Pull bible story of Solomon off back burner and light a fire under creative thinking portion of brain in hopes of coming up with my own twist to that tale, because I can't, for the life of me, figure out how to cut our third car in half.
I mean, isn't enough that we even have a third car?
Didn't I (time to strum violin) ride two buses and an elevated train and trudge through several blocks of strong winds and deep snow with temperatures falling below zero while lugging and arm load of text books to get to eight AM classes when I was eighteen!!! And didn't I manage that back and forth trudge, five days a week—with a smile on my face for four years! And didn't that continue when I was a pregnant teacher, making my way to work, every day? Isn't it enough that we'd thought to keep the wagon for our sons instead of trading it in when their hard working father's desire for a brand new, sharp and snappy convertible offered those keys to me?
Well, actually, to my way of thinking, declaring my sons unbelievably lucky was not enough.
In my mind, keeping the peace meant ensuring that hidden resentment would not have sound reason to explode from one or the other, sooner or later. In my mind, everyone's needs would be expressed, considered and met as fairly as possible once a logical plan formulated, step by step, inside my mind—if only I wasn't so tired!!
So—with sixteen year old Seven, staring hopefully at his mother and eighteen year old Barry, starring hopefully at his mother, here is what my sons' mother said—I need to sleep on this dilemma. Hopefully, upon awakening, a workable plan will have shaped up inside my mind. Now, if you think that strategy made so much sense to two young bulls that they left me my weary mind at peace at that moment, you must not have any kids—so, please think again ...
As one who'd relied upon creative thinking for eighteen years in hopes of raising kids within an environment that proved peaceful more often than not, I've became known to be a woman whose mind never sleeps, and here's what that means—I'm not as much a Pollyana dreamer as most might think. In truth, I've developed my mind to work best in optimistic-planning mode. So while the rest of me sleeps, the subconscious portion of my mind gets busy, diving so deep as to run with a dilemma until a sanity-saving-solution-seeking plan seems to shape up on its own. As I didn't know this about myself, back then, here is what was said to two pairs of hopeful ears, waiting with bated breath to hear deeper truth flow from a wearied tree of knowledge:
Guys—I really need to sleep on it.
As you can imagine, that did not go down well ...
But, Mom, what about tomorrow?
Who gets to drive Big Red, tomorrow? (Remember former post about Big Red?)
Thank goodness, this was when memory served me well.
This was when I visualized Barry enjoying his moment of new driver glory
So turning to eldest son, Solomon asks:
Barry, do you remember your joy upon
Driving to school the day after receiving your license?
Brows furrow as eighteen year old bull's head shakes up and down
Do you think your brother deserves to experience his turn?
As taking turns is habitual in our house
Horns are pulled in as logical problem-solving mode
Assumes control over eighteen year old brain
Okay, Mom—David can drive to school, tomorrow—but
I was not able to pick up friends, right away
After smiling in agreement with Barry's skillful negotiations
Solomon turns to Steven, whose joy concedes that part of
His plan for himself
Okay, says sixteen year old bull, pulling in his horns ... but then
What about after tomorrow?
Solomon responds, I need to sleep on that one
And to tell you the truth, I don't fall asleep worried for two reasons:
I am much too tired each night not to sleep
And by now, I'd come up with so many plans as to feel assured
That something workable, tweakable, changeable, malleable and
Finally, peacefully successful will arise on it's own—given time, because
Any plan worth it's weight in salt depends upon an rested mind
That values this fact:
Change that makes sense requires time and patience
And since three minds were on the same solution-seeking wavelength
Please tune in tomorrow to see how our plan for peace shaped up :)
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