462 (A) WHY DO I KEEP WRITING ABOUT: DENIAL???

Let's say it's easy to forget that Human Nature has two sides.

Let's say life feels strange when we forget that human nature is a two sided animal.

Let's say the survival of every animal depends upon, instinctively figuring out how to meet its needs.

Let's say that I develop traits, which offer understanding, compassion, generosity of spirit and support ... across the board.

Let's say a pattern shapes up where I choose to take care of another's needs, asking for little in return.

Let's say that vital aspects of my life grow unexpectedly dark, catalyzing my need—as conflicts fail to resolve—to reach out and ask, clearly, for understanding, compassion, generosity of spirit and support—repeatedly.

Let's say I reach out to those who had repeatedly reached out to me.

Let's say the last reaction I expect to receive is one that knocks my exhausted mind and spirit down.

Let's say a series of experiences, as confounding as these, gave me reason to develop the clarity necessary to discern between times when I feel put down vs. times when I, most certainly, am being put down.

Let's say you ask:  How can you tell the difference between feeling put down vs. being put down?

*Let's say I reply:  A person, whose exhaustion is dissed as neediness, is clearly being put down

*Let's say my train of thought would continue with:  A person, who tries to hide neediness behind a wall of denial, may feel put down when care givers, who feel desperate enough to step up to the plate, have no choice left other than uttering words, which clearly spell out reality.

Let's say that these words, which prove too painful for others to say, bare truths, which those in denial can't bear to hear.

Let's say that when we're in denial, our defense mechanisms work to block, deflect and rebuff reality, every time it speaks aloud.  Let's say listening to painful truths makes us feel put down.  In short, those in denial choose to place more faith in their beliefs than in fact-filled truths, too painful to hear.

Let's say that one mechanism of denial is to revise memory.  (I never said that!  I didn't do that!)

Let's say that during life's most desperate moments, unresolved drama heightens for sound reason.

Let's say that when life's true dramas are dissed as being melodramatic, put downs are not just felt, they are actually raining down.

Let's say that the work of the bard has become classic, because he penned deeper truths, such as:
The world is a stage and we be the actors upon it ... (paraphrased)

Let's say that, while life's most dramatic moments continue to unfold, some take on the role of care givers on center stage while others remain caring observers, who feel deeply involved, but stand in the wings, much more often than not.

Let's say that as an observer, you may be shown the confident side of an actor's character, because the needy side does not come out to play passive-aggressive games when you draw near.

Let's say we consider the fact that angels do not live on Earth, because everyone has two sides—a self confident side as well as an insecure side.  Let's say this actor masks the insecure side behind denial's wall. Let's say that this mask is called a persona, and everyone wears one.

Let's say that denial is in control of your brain when you're wearing your mask, but don't know it's doing your talking and listening. Let's change this up, just a bit ...

Let's say you think to know yourself well.

Let's say a decade of confusion offers you reason to reconsider whether that's true.

Let's say that you choose to connect with my quest toward gaining insight into subconscious insecurities, which undermine deeply valued relationships for this reason:

Let's say everyone is in denial about something, because everyone has an ego and defense system and when the ego feels injured, defense mechanisms, which leap into action, automatically set up walls of denial ...

*Let's say you begin to wonder which insecurities may lurk, under cover, behind walls of denial, deep within your subconscious, thus causing trains of thought to chug straight into dark tunnels which undermine your connection to clarity, more often than you know ...

*Let's say you come to understand that we can't see others clearly until we develop the strength to see both sides of ourselves.  Not the bad side and the good side, but rather the insecure side and the self confident side.

*Let's say you begin to understand that walls of denial can not come down without seeking help. Perhaps that insight shines the light of clarifies upon this one:  Perceptions of intelligent, well educated folk may get off track ... and stay off track ... when subconscious insecurity plays tricks on their minds ... indefinitely ...

*Let's say it's not unusual for the minds of people in denial to influence the minds of others.


***Let's say I feel compelled to post my quest for clarity as details emerge from my memory bank, which highlight bigger pictures as never before ...  (Have you read the series of posts entitled FIRST KISS?)

Let's say that when it comes to learning how to communicate skillfully, these bigger pictures tend to prove classic ...  doesn't it make sense to see where philosophic thoughts of Socrates may be woven into the fabric of your story by following the insights, which will continue to emerge from within mine?

Let's say that I continue to seek out knowledge, while writing about denial, in hopes of growing wiser than wizened while my aging process moves forward.  Though I'm not the sage or the bard, I have learned a thing or two from those wise souls.  And as a teacher, here is my plan:  By way of story telling, I aim to pass forward insights, which inspire my mind to expand and my spirit to rejoice while I'm still on this side of the grass.
Your friend, Annie
J