455 NELSON MANDELA

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged
To find the ways in which you,  yourself, have altered."  Nelson Mandela

"I have a dream ..."   Martin Luther King, Jr. 

As you know ...
I have a dream of firefighters running through smoke screens, trying to save people in denial from insecurities, which create mind mazes where logic burns to a crisp

I have a dream of love creating safety nets, so people will not fear taking leaps of faith toward deeper truths, which inject relationships with lasting strengths, like mutual respect, compassion and trust

In truth, I had a real dream, last night
And here's how it played out:
I was in my bed, fast asleep, eyes tightly shut
Suddenly within this dream, I sat up, stood up
And sleep walked right out of my house

Eventually, I made it to a fire station—far from home
And with eyes wide shut, I climbed into the driver's seat of a fire truck
And off I went—out of the station, through the streets—
Clanging an alarming bell, but to no avail
Because deaf ears could not hear or heed the alarm
Which rang so clearly inside my head that I woke myself up!

Upon awakening from denial
I analyzed my dream and here is what I saw:
I saw a fireman surrounded by those
Who remain blindly inflamed within a nightmare
Where every mind is so busy, engaging in head on collisions—
Which fling blame back and forth—that none gains so much as a clue
As to why conflicts, which end in self defeat, burn, on and on ... until
One sad day, the element of trust, which strengthens relationships, burns itself out!

Eventually, my involvement in so much hot winded plight
Drove me close to crazy, so, choosing to silence my alarm ...
I made a U turn and beat it back to the fire house, where
Much to my surprise, I was accosted by irritated firemen ...
Who'd been left 'truckless' while I was sprinkling fairy dust in my own eyes

Good grief, I thought, what was I thinking?

Then, I remembered that my first thought's not always my best thought ...
It's just my first thought—so upon sitting myself down in time out
To think more deeply than ever before, this insight popped out of my mind:

I'd been naive to think myself equipped
To free others from denial's mind games, which ...
Burn logical thought processing to a crisp

On the other hand, lucky for me
No buildings on the homefront had burned to the ground while I'd been ...
Driving that truck in circles in my wearied attempts
To ring an alarm of warning, concerning fires ...
Which spread defensive flames from one mind to another

Once the angry firemen came to understand the heartfelt reason for my quest
They saw fit to let me off the hook (and ladder)
And as my sense of clarity
Grew to feeling more securely grounded in reality than ever before
Here is what I came to see, concerning my futile attempts to blow
The smoke screens of others away:
I had hoped to uncover truths, which would set others free of subconscious...
And thus unknown, insecurities, which burn holes into
Every person's ability to recognize insight, which beckons in hopes that
We'll view reality, as it exists, today, with clarity:

Ultimately, I awoke to this painful but insightful fact—
The concept of 'kill the messenger' is very much alive
So with insight into that sad fact, here is what I finally came to accept:
No matter how long or compassionately I ring a warning bell aloud
People, who fear hearing that which they don't want to know—
Concerning their subconscious insecurities—must develop the humility to
Sit on their egos before readiness to open their eyes and ears takes place

As I've worn myself out twice, the only bell you'll see me ring, today
Is the bell that signals me to remain quiet in a positively focused place ...
While remaining loosely connected to those who have no clue
As to how often denial ignites stress, which sets fire to their peace of mind

And while I wait quietly, patiently on the sidelines of the fray
Watching self induced anxiety continue to meander down a sad path
Where negatively focused attitudes control the mind—day after day
I continue to breath life into this hope:
One day, a fireman, named Rip Van Winkle
Who sleeps inside each person's mind
May one day awaken to the need to
Recognize defensive-blame games that
People don't know they play

And perhaps, upon awakening, as I did ...
I'll see a slew of nice folk connecting with my quest
To gather insight into problem solving plans
Whereby conflicts are resolved respectfully, trustfully
And thus,  peaceably, once and for all

You see, as Tom Cruise says in COCKTAIL:

"Everything ends badly or it would not end."

When defense mechanisms continue to block minds
From figuring out why conflicts go unresolved, over long

Then deeply valued  relationships, eventually, crack in half

And here is why that's true:

While a person in denial needs to pretend that everything
Is the other guy's fault ... or that everything is A-okay
When that is not the case at all ... another person
Who quests toward understanding why conflicts

With certain people tend to be so easily inflamed may tire of
Waiting for trust to develop—and here is why that's true:
Everyone has a defense system, which protects the heart
From suffering disappointment, which
Unresolved grows painful, indeed

Once comprehension into defense mechanisms
Is absorbed by the brain
Any attachment to pretense or undeserved blame
Grows too exhausting or irritating
To keep going back—to receive more of the same

If asked why some insist on keeping pretense alive, here is what I'd say:

For those in denial, pretense feels like a safer place to dwell

Than diving into the deep and connecting with truths, which tend
To blow protective smokescreens, which try to mask clarity concerning reality
To kingdom come

Once deeper truths blow smokescreens away, the persona evaporates into thin air

At this point, a person's hidden insecurities hang out in plain view for all to see

And as deeper truths emerge, denial is no longer empowered to hide vulnerabilities
Or insecurities behind that persona, which has been blown to kingdom come

If the persona disappears into thin air before humility develops

A person, who has refused to identify certain traits, which complete true self
Is faced with choice:
Run away,  trembling with fear, because the protective facade has been blown
Or summon the courage to face personal traits, to which he or she had been blind
As you can see, courage to summon humility
Is necessary before listening skills can develop

As I've come to recognize how much humility I had to muster

When my persona stretched too far, cracked in half and fell off ... and
As I've worked to develop inner strengths, which
Had been half baked ... and
As I've experienced the futility of knocking on solid, defensive walls—

Repeatedly, in hopes that deaf ears would heed alarming news
Concerning the fact that certain relationships keep going from bad to worse ...

Here is what has changed, profoundly for me:

I, now, sound that alarm only in earshot of those

Who do not fear learning how to head off head-on collisions
By working to strengthen their connections to mutual respect, self control and trust

If asked why I send insight, concerning peace of mind, into cyberspace, today
Here is what I'd say:

I hope to connect, mindfully, with countless friends, I've yet to meet

And if you ask:  Annie, being human, aren't you in denial, too?

I'd reply:  Of course

In fact my stories will make that awareness clear

On the other hand

As we have no clue as to what we're each in denial about, right now

I can only tell you what I'm not in denial about, anymore

Once upon a time, my mind wandered through a maze of denial

Where I believed myself empowered to free others, who—

Had blindly turned deaf ears or balked and squawked

Instead of learning how to open their eyes and ears and unblock their minds ...

In hopes of recognizing exits from mind mazes, which grow
Ever more deeply complex, beginning in childhood

Today, I comprehend the fact that I can serve as a guide

Only for those who ring my bell and openly invite insight
Into positively focused paths, where misperceptions
Leading to misunderstandings, straighten out in trustful ways


Once conflict resolution stops crashing into defensive walls, which
Tower over logic,  I stand ready and eager to walk, peaceably
Side by side, holding hands, while engaging in discussions
Where thought processes flow, back and forth
Freely through open pathways of both brains

If asked to explain the most meaningful difference
Between yesterday's misperception

And today's sense of clarity, here is what I'd say:

Today, I am grateful to have worked to absorb insight into inner strengths

Which offer me peace of mind whenever I choose to ...

".... return to a place that remains unchanged

To find the ways in which (I, myself) have altered"

And with that said, I'd like to thank Nelson Mandela

For validating my belief in this fact:
In all walks of life
It proves exceedingly difficult to make necessary changes

Which others find exceedingly difficult to accept

As for now, I have a party to attend, so nuf'said for today

J