Can you tell the difference between a person who is authentically self confident and one who masks insecurity by acting self confident?
Have you ever heard yourself say: I'm surprised to know that so-and-so felt the need to put me down, because put downs result from insecurity and, for the most part, this person acts secure.
Aha! (you think) I get it! Acting secure and feeling secure are not the same, because acting self confident depends upon how well one can fool—oneself.
So what might we see when a person, who feels insecure is caught acting self confident instead of feeling self confident
?
If we are attentive to body language, we'll see an insecure ego, masking self confidence, by directing the persona to take center stage.
As some of us gain insight into recognizing a persona staring us in the face
While others do not, insecurity will fool some of the people some of the time
But not all of the people all of the time
By the way, at times when we know we're feeling insecure
We may consciously place the mask on our faces in hopes of hiding our lack of confidence.
On the other hand, when deny feeling insecure
While anxiety is eating away at peace of mind
We may not be consciously aware of how quickly the eel
Slips out of a crack in the persona's mask to bite the hand that feeds us ...
If we remain unaware of the repetitive nature of passive aggressive
Insults, negatively focused attitudes, and
Body language exhibiting sneering or dismissive expressions then
We'll believe ourselves innocence of friendship's demise.
Ah—what tangled webs we mortals weave when denial directs the show
And as long as intelligence is not cast to play the lead
All show-no-go will go on and on ...
As you know
Life is, at turns, a drama, a farce, a comedy, a tragedy, a mini series ...
Life offers bad news and good news.
Bad news first:
Once the persona feels the need to run too much of the show
Life remains a full length drama
Good news:
With growth in self awareness
We can turn a full length drama
Into the three ring circus life was meant to be
You must know what's coming next ...
As always, the choice is up to you:
Consciously grow more self aware
And learn whom you fear and why
Or
Remain in denial, concerning with whom you feel relaxed
Can you tell the difference between a person who is authentically secure ...
And one who masks insecurity by acting self confident when, in truth
Self elevation relies upon the subtle nature of biting put downs?
Observe body language:
Who acts tense and uptight vs. is openly relaxed.
May I respectfully suggest that before checking out others, you check into yourself:
With whom do you feel self confident and why?
Do you feel self confident when surrounded by—yes men?
With whom do you wear a persona?
Why do you grow up tight when they draw near?
Do you know who your wounded ego feels the need to
Put down in passive aggressive ways?
If you can't answer that question openly, honestly, spontaneously
Then you may have no clue as to why the path of true friendship
May grow bumpy with certain folk with whom you long to be close
And if you're confused as to how bumpy that path has become
May I suggest seeking out an astute guide, eager to help to
Dismantle walls of denial, which blind us to the main reason why
We smash, all too often, straight into self defeat
The persona 'acts'
Authenticity 'is'
If authenticity does not yet feel safe, today—
Tomorrow is only a day away!
But why waste another day
Unless you fear deeper truths and personal traits
Which may pop out of your memory bank?
Need an injection of confidence?
Inject yourself with courage
Next, grab on to humility
Then muster the patience to absorb insights, which accompany knowledge
In this way we begin to redirect the insecure side of our minds
Away from a negatively focused path
And as personas stop playing passive-aggressive games
Wounded relationships, which had wandered off track
Consciously begin to heal by both sides working, together
To create a brand new game—play by play
J
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