Let's say an ego, grown needy, tends to become as slippery as an eel
Let's say this slippery neediness slides out, and quick as a wink slides back in
Let's say an ego, which grows insecure, confuses wants for needs
(I want you to meet my needs)
Let's say that, over time, the insecure ego of a nice person
Develops such a high degree of defensiveness that the eel, within, slips out and
Bites deep and quick when wants feel unmet, causing anxiety to hit hard
Let's say that at times when insecurity slips out as anxiety
The defensive nature of a wounded ego slips out, feeling the need to put another down
Then, quick as a flash, the ego (eel) slips behind it's rock wall and 'forgets' it snuck out!
Let's say subconscious insecurity, sneaking around inside dark pockets of our minds
Slips out from behind the shield of an even-tempered (?) persona—striking
So fast that the self confident side of the one who's been bitten feels sorely confused
Let's say that having been bitten in subtle, passive aggressive ways, I'd been told:
Tsk, tsk, you'd better figure out what's wrong with—fragile YOU—repeatedly
Thus dizzying my sense of balance, which turned my perceptions upside down
Let's say that with the passage of years, swift bites slithered out and back in
In so many masked, and thus, passive aggressive ways that finally a day dawned
When my defensive system, wincing and wearied, forbade me to back back for more
Let's say that when my defensive system reared (quietly) up
My intelligence kicked in and said: Something's very wrong ...
But I don't just believe that whatever that may be is just wrong with me!
Let's say that though at my wit's end, I had the presence of mindfulness
To request a brain storming session, where I heard everyone say:
We're already doing whatever we can, so nothing changed until everything changed
Let's say that, one day, I clearly saw a nice person's electric eel slip out, strike and
Slither back into murky subconscious depths, where, once again, it hid from view—
And suddenly, as insight flashed its light, I saw the eel 'dissing' me to elevate itself!
Let's say that on that fateful day when my defense system signaled my intelligence
To awaken and stand up for me, shouting Enough—no more pain without gain!
(Have you read BULLY FOR ME?) ... no one heard me for this reason:
Let's say that as my voice had lost all hope of being seriously heard
My mind grew so painfully conflicted that silence offered my dispirited whole
A safe haven to curl inward, rest and reflect with the covers pulled over my head
Let's say that at such time when my pitcher had expended it's last drop of energy
Everyone flew (literally on jet planes) into a mind spinning tizzy and rather than
Dismissing (thus dissing) my self disciplined desperation, action was taken
Let's say that while my body and spirit spent time resting in solitude
My intelligence dove into pools of reflection more deeply than ever before
And while resting, forgotten details emerged, which freed me of inner conflict, at last!
Let's say that as forgotten details emerge (As exemplified in FIRST KISS)
Inner conflicts clarify and, piece by piece, I figure out how confusion reigns
When those in denial can't differentiate fragility from strengths, stretched too thin
Let's say that once insight hit, I came to see how few had listened attentively ...
With open minds to the countless times I'd clearly and compassionately
Expressed exhaustion while consistently requesting support, all around
Let's say as one insight lit up the next, my mind and spirit, which
Had worn down from having gone unheeded, over long—
Brighten as truth emerged and made sense of nonsense, resultant of denial
Let's say that the more insight into inattentiveness and insecurity I'd absorbed
The more I came to understand the divisive nature of denial, all around ...
At that point, the communication's book I'd been writing transformed into this blog
Let's say that upon realizing how well I'd consciously practiced what I teach ...
Concerning mutual respect and self contol, this fact clarified for me:
***Dysfunction spreads like wildfire when listening skills are nil ...
Let's say that I did not choose to spend my adult years
Absorbing a wealth of knowledge, concerning open, honest communications
To succum to despair, which came close to swallowing the sum of my strengths
Let's say that misperceptions, raining down, can drive anyone close to crazy—if
WE unwittingly agree to let others redirect our paths to ease their own
Let's say every post I write hopes to entice tunnel vision to expand, little by little ...
Let's say
Nuf said for today—
Uh—On second thought, one more thing:
Let's say I'd like to remind you of this:
Within every story you read, details have been left undisclosed
For this reason:
Let's say that by withholding vital details which had escaped my attention when
I was young, you'll see how often Denial undermines the best of minds when
Intelligence is given reason to grow more insecure by the day... (BULLY, KISS)
Let's say that when these potent details emerge in stories to come, as I dive in deep and
Retrieve them, like treasure, buried in my memory bank, you, too, will see how often
Each person mistakenly believes to know oneself, when, in truth, we often have no clue!
Let's say that each time I've had reason to reflect upon my life—
Openly, courageously, honestly, and thus objectively
I'm surprised to see subtle power struggles, which had gone unidentified, before...
Let's say as we inch forward, story by story, I believe you, too
Will come to see why, from time to time, every defense system's persona has
Cracks, which allow animal instincts to slip out from behind walls of denial
Let's say that each time the slippery nature of the insecure eel slides out of
The crack in our persona, we try to bite into and thus minimize strengths
Of those we love ... and if called on our put downs, we deny, deny, deny!
Let's say that as insights within each story are absorbed, you, too, may decide
To support (and thus, spread) my belief that a grass roots movement, expressing
The divisive nature of denial, may inspire hope for peace throughout the world
Let's say that I agree that hope for world peace is far fetched, or should I say
Far sighted? Either way, how about considering this: How about connecting with
My hope to dismantle walls of denial, separating loved ones into separate camps?
Let's say that in little more than a year, WE'VE already connected with ...
67 nations—
And counting ... thanks goodness for communicating, openly, by way of the web ...
J
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