53
2002
Swinging ...
2002
Swinging ...
“Through story telling, I can show how ‘The Pill’ catalyzed a snowball effect, which steamrolled right over family values, causing society's stability to unground and barrel downhill.”
"How did taking the pill relate to the family's undoing?"
"Well, fifty years ago we could not foresee the domino effect that followed in the aftermath of the discovery of The Pill. Our scope was so limited as to cause us to believe that with the discovery of The Pill women were spontaneously liberated—sexually. In hindsight that train of thought proved to be as oversimplifying as the White House's declaration that the war with Iraq was over when, in truth, change for the better had countless hurtles to overcome.
Each time an amazing discovery catalyzes dramatic changes in society's thinking patterns, the naive side of human nature believes that we've got the brass ring within our grasp. All too often we forget that while mindsets transition through change, a mixed bag of tricks and treats is placed in our hands.
*When drastic change topples the solid foundation, upon which an existing culture depends, values get so shaken as to cause our minds to swirl as dizzily as a merry-go-round, spinning out of control—no brakes in sight. When values change too fast, mindsets swing, like pendulums on metronomes, from one end of the spectrum to another. If values swing to extremes, overlong, the well-balanced state of stability is bound to crack in half.
During the sixties The Pill catalyzed an attitude of free love, which, over time, caused responsible family values to fall through the cracks. As family values cracked open like Humpty Dumpty falling off a wall, a tug of war heated up. As solid values of family solidarity pulled in one direction, 'free love' ran wild in the other.
Once one mindset runs forward to welcome a new train of thought, which may lead us toward embracing change for the better—down the road, while a more traditional mindset remains planted, solidly, in values, which are shaking in their boots, a chasm opens, causing opposing mindsets to—divorce. As more and more families tore apart and mindsets divided into separate camps, emotional—and financial chaos developed.
As that chaotic chasm flooded with fear and confusion, for years, both sides remained blind to the ways in which dramatic-change-in-transition propels society, as a whole, toward a future, which is unexpected and thus, unforeseen. With hindsight we can see that once confusion settles down, the center of the bell shaped curve, which stabilizes any group as a whole, establishes a middle ground, which allows society, as a whole, to settle down. In the aftermath of The Pill, divorce grew so commonplace that an expanded sense of family established its place on the historical time line. And it's important to note that while change causes traditional values to transition through pain, the future moves all of us forward, because—time stops for no one.
In retrospect, let's look back and re-consider what may result when tender, young shoots are uprooted and replanted in an emotional wasteland, where one hot winded sand storm after another swirls up, causing everyone to shut their eyes tight. In lieu of emotional nourishment re-establishing a sense of security, how might this generation of insecure youngsters fare?
Consider what a caterpillar looks like inside the cocoon, while transforming from a furry, crawling creature into a colorful butterfly that flies naturally free of restraint. Mother Nature did not conceive of cocoons to hide ugliness. The cocoon is nature's way to provide a safe haven while the most vulnerable stages of transition take place. Since Mother Nature did not gift people with the ability to weave cocoons while outmoded trains of thought are in the process of transitioning toward expanded perceptions, time spent in solitude proves to be a vital part of every writer's life.
As we all have stories worth telling, whom amongst us is not a story teller? However, what happens when a storyteller gets caught up in a web of denial? Non-fiction spins toward fiction in a flash. Mess with just one vital detail, and the heroic nature of a person may be misjudged as a villainous traitor, when nothing could be further than THE TRUTH.
When the mindset of denial controls a person's brain, clarity gets buried in a maze of mental confusion, which continues to darken.
In the absence of insight into defense mechanisms, which disrupt common sense, mindsets, which point fingers of blame, are set in stone.
*Once separation occurs, it's not unusual for mindsets, on both sides, to be in need of re-evaluation in hopes that with growth in self awareness, misperceptions may emerge, and trains of thought, which had wandered off track may be clarified and steered on course, again. *In the absence of self awareness, mindsets remain narrow, and bigger pictures fail to appear.
When I sat down to write about the years of chaotic upheaval that our family encountered when my marriage fell apart, insights began to bounce around inside my mind like jumping beans. In retrospect, the exhausting nature of that fearsomely painful, step-by-step process of separation offered me this insight into life: *Self defeating thought patterns and narrow mindsets are as hard to change as bad habits are hard to break.
In fact here is what makes changing our thought patterns (mindsets) so tough: *Mindsets must be identified. And self awareness cannot deepen until denial's defensive walls come tumbling down. Initially, as denial's walls come down, we may be left with egg dripping down our faces. As facing up to reality can make us feel really bad, here's where my train of thought is leading:
*In the aftermath of emotional upheaval, wrought by sudden change, we remain unaware of any sign of progress until emotional balance is restored to most everyone involved.*When drastic change topples the solid foundation, upon which an existing culture depends, values get so shaken as to cause our minds to swirl as dizzily as a merry-go-round, spinning out of control—no brakes in sight. When values change too fast, mindsets swing, like pendulums on metronomes, from one end of the spectrum to another. If values swing to extremes, overlong, the well-balanced state of stability is bound to crack in half.
During the sixties The Pill catalyzed an attitude of free love, which, over time, caused responsible family values to fall through the cracks. As family values cracked open like Humpty Dumpty falling off a wall, a tug of war heated up. As solid values of family solidarity pulled in one direction, 'free love' ran wild in the other.
Once one mindset runs forward to welcome a new train of thought, which may lead us toward embracing change for the better—down the road, while a more traditional mindset remains planted, solidly, in values, which are shaking in their boots, a chasm opens, causing opposing mindsets to—divorce. As more and more families tore apart and mindsets divided into separate camps, emotional—and financial chaos developed.
As that chaotic chasm flooded with fear and confusion, for years, both sides remained blind to the ways in which dramatic-change-in-transition propels society, as a whole, toward a future, which is unexpected and thus, unforeseen. With hindsight we can see that once confusion settles down, the center of the bell shaped curve, which stabilizes any group as a whole, establishes a middle ground, which allows society, as a whole, to settle down. In the aftermath of The Pill, divorce grew so commonplace that an expanded sense of family established its place on the historical time line. And it's important to note that while change causes traditional values to transition through pain, the future moves all of us forward, because—time stops for no one.
In retrospect, let's look back and re-consider what may result when tender, young shoots are uprooted and replanted in an emotional wasteland, where one hot winded sand storm after another swirls up, causing everyone to shut their eyes tight. In lieu of emotional nourishment re-establishing a sense of security, how might this generation of insecure youngsters fare?
Consider what a caterpillar looks like inside the cocoon, while transforming from a furry, crawling creature into a colorful butterfly that flies naturally free of restraint. Mother Nature did not conceive of cocoons to hide ugliness. The cocoon is nature's way to provide a safe haven while the most vulnerable stages of transition take place. Since Mother Nature did not gift people with the ability to weave cocoons while outmoded trains of thought are in the process of transitioning toward expanded perceptions, time spent in solitude proves to be a vital part of every writer's life.
As we all have stories worth telling, whom amongst us is not a story teller? However, what happens when a storyteller gets caught up in a web of denial? Non-fiction spins toward fiction in a flash. Mess with just one vital detail, and the heroic nature of a person may be misjudged as a villainous traitor, when nothing could be further than THE TRUTH.
When the mindset of denial controls a person's brain, clarity gets buried in a maze of mental confusion, which continues to darken.
In the absence of insight into defense mechanisms, which disrupt common sense, mindsets, which point fingers of blame, are set in stone.
*Once separation occurs, it's not unusual for mindsets, on both sides, to be in need of re-evaluation in hopes that with growth in self awareness, misperceptions may emerge, and trains of thought, which had wandered off track may be clarified and steered on course, again. *In the absence of self awareness, mindsets remain narrow, and bigger pictures fail to appear.
When I sat down to write about the years of chaotic upheaval that our family encountered when my marriage fell apart, insights began to bounce around inside my mind like jumping beans. In retrospect, the exhausting nature of that fearsomely painful, step-by-step process of separation offered me this insight into life: *Self defeating thought patterns and narrow mindsets are as hard to change as bad habits are hard to break.
In fact here is what makes changing our thought patterns (mindsets) so tough: *Mindsets must be identified. And self awareness cannot deepen until denial's defensive walls come tumbling down. Initially, as denial's walls come down, we may be left with egg dripping down our faces. As facing up to reality can make us feel really bad, here's where my train of thought is leading:
*If one side continues to heap blame upon the other, denial wins, and everyone who cares loses, all around. *As long as denial refuses to allow humility to show its face, the insecure ego refuses to stand up and face THE TRUTH.
When I think of 'free love' leading toward ‘open sexuality’, here's what I picture: *I picture the pendulum still swinging away from the repressive belief system of the Victorian Age, which had influenced the roles of men and women through the 1950's. *With the discovery of THE PILL, we swung into the swinging sixties, where hundreds of years of family stability came undone. *At that point in time, everything in terms of trust began to get blurry. I mean, as one marriage after another cracked in half, who knew whom to trust as decades of emotional, financial and familial turmoil continued to barrel downhill?
In fact, I believe we're still 'swinging' toward the opposite extreme—where sex runs wild through the streets—at all ages—as can be seen wherever we look, today.
And what have we lost? All sense of trust in leadership at home. In Washington D.C. and Throughout the world.
Though this seems like an over-simplication, please withhold your judgment until stories from the sixties unfold. I aim to show how the family is a microcosm of society at large.
In the absence of well-balanced leadership, why should we commit to anything in lasting ways? ***In lieu of trust, the demise of one relationship leads to the demise of the next ... and the next—until mindsets evolve and change, and men and women come to VALUE insight into denial and misperception, far and wide ...
When asked about my perceptions, concerning men, women, leadership and sex in our society, today, I reply: We've not yet achieved a healthy balance … however, we have been processing our way in a progressive direction, decade by decade."
"Decade by decade? Why would positive change take so long to develop?"
"Mindsets, Mom. Mindsets, concerning values, don't expand, overnight. Nor should they. Do you remember that change holds up a mixed bag of tricks and treats? As core values change, the 'haves' turn into 'have nots'. And I'm not just talking about money. We have lots to lose when narrow mindsets solidify into stone. Before narrow mindedness and negative attitudes can melt down enough to reform, hardened trains of thought need to simmer on the stove until, one day, insight clarifies where insecurity, leading toward misperception, has steered us wrong.
In a nutshell: *It takes much longer than we'd think for any change to sink in deep, because changing our mindsets, most especially when considering values, takes tons of work in terms of mustering the courage and humility that deepens self awareness!
For example, think about everything I chose to study about raising children when my kids were tots. As I look back over the past FORTY years, it's clear to see that the media has just recently begun to disseminate trains of thought, which I've been expressing in classes and practicing at home for more than FORTY years.
(Hmmm ... now I understand why bible stories remain classically pertinent, from one generation to the next. Fortified by thoughts of freedom, 'we' wander for FORTY years through desert wastelands, seeking a safe haven in which to settle, where wearied hearts, bodies, and lost souls may feel welcomed and nourished within a value system that expands society's strengths beyond an outmoded value system, which had steam rolled over individuals of all ages, colors, nationalities, and religious differences in the past. In short, progress never stops reaching toward change for the better for all ... and that is why change is classically constant, universal, and timeless ...)
I smile while listening to young parents spouting theories of positive discipline as though they're brand new. And thus, mindsets we learn at home may be one train of thought, while our minds open to absorb expanding mindsets, which we consciously choose to put into practice—in hopes of encouraging change for the better, the world over ... "
"Annie, where do you get these ideas?"
*"I read a lot ...
And seriously consider what I read ...
And look for silver linings in dark clouds
And believe it's always darkest before the dawn
When confusion hits one of my mind sets too hard for too long
I seek out guidance
Guidance encourages me to
Progress past my fear of experimenting with change ...
(And though I'd believed my statement to Mom, concerning my ability to progress past fear, I'll have reason to see a less secure view of myself , down the road ... )"
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