SEPARATION ANXIETY
Awoke feeling anxious, again.
Damn! I thought! Won't this ever stop???
Picked up a Reader's Digest, because human interest stories interest me
After reading for a while it was time to rise and ready myself
To attend a luncheon benefiting a woman's shelter that proves
Exceptionally successful at empowering those who have escaped abuse
So anyway, I got up, showered and while applying mascara
This question popped out of my mind:
Gosh—I wonder if anxiety was aroused, because
Someone's story, today, may match mine? As in:
We fear drawing near to that which denial does not want us to know …
Next thing I knew, the surprising nature of this insight
Popped out of the intuitive side of my mind:
If I'd felt safe only while satisfying my loved ones' needs then
For most of my life I'd unknowingly given those I'd loved
Control over decisions that belonged to no one but me—
This insight suggests that we may have no clue as to
How fast fear causes our leadership skills to jump ship
Though this identity crises makes me feel unsafe
Here's the crux of the matter:
Though I'd once been a super-duper people pleaser
Satisfying what others wanted me to do—say—or be
Pleasing others is no longer my greatest need—and
If you ask why that's true, I'd reply:
My brain has been actively engaged in working to embrace
A healthy mindset—which denial had bamboozled me into
Believing had been mine, all along!
So, though I feel anxious over the fact that
Vulnerabilities, numbed, over long, feel raw and exposed
I know that today's painful expulsion of a self demeaning mindset
Will be worth tomorrow's gain in personal strength once
My newly expansive frame of mind holds hands with
The free thinking spirit and intuitive soul, who has been
Guiding the frightened child, within, to repair
The good health of her wounded self esteem
Though it's true that this current
Identity crises, catalyzing separation anxiety
Does not feel good, as of yet
The inner peace of which I seek
Will change my life for the better as soon as
My healthy hold on self esteem has had time to
Replace raw vulnerabilies with
Personal strengths, which, upon becoming fully baked, will
Empower me to be true to myself without
Feeling anxious due to inner conflict, born of self doubt
If asked whom I've grown to be, as of right now, I'd reply
I'm an empathetic woman, capable of inspiring others
To go forth into the world, believing in their innate strengths—
And here's how I know for certain that their strengths exist:
Those who have sought asylum at the shelter
Have already mustered the courage necessary to
Leave mental and physical abuse behind—as have I
If asked to foretell the immediate future, I'd say:
Each time my leadership skills and I choose to
Invest my time, energy and spirit to encourage these brave women to
Reenergize the strength of their self-esteem
Guess whose brain will be listening intently to absorb
Strings of insight into deeper truths, which are sure to pop out of my mouth
Your friend,
Annie
PS
I read this in the paper, today:
Everyone starts out without knowledge and muddies through life making do with what they are given.
Though intuition led me to focus upon guiding my sons to think for themselves, I've come to see why it is, presently, my turn to unmuddy my thoughts in hopes of seeking insight into clarity as I lead myself toward adventuring into the great unknown, which lies directly ahead of us, all—
My gosh! Think of the mass of mixed messages which may have continued to muddy my decisions had I not opened my mind when my niece and cousin encouraged me to write this blog! Thank goodness, I've worked to develop astute listening skills, right? I mean, whom are we meant to hear with an ear bent toward clarity if not ourselves?
Awoke feeling anxious, again.
Damn! I thought! Won't this ever stop???
Picked up a Reader's Digest, because human interest stories interest me
After reading for a while it was time to rise and ready myself
To attend a luncheon benefiting a woman's shelter that proves
Exceptionally successful at empowering those who have escaped abuse
So anyway, I got up, showered and while applying mascara
This question popped out of my mind:
Gosh—I wonder if anxiety was aroused, because
Someone's story, today, may match mine? As in:
We fear drawing near to that which denial does not want us to know …
Next thing I knew, the surprising nature of this insight
Popped out of the intuitive side of my mind:
If I'd felt safe only while satisfying my loved ones' needs then
For most of my life I'd unknowingly given those I'd loved
Control over decisions that belonged to no one but me—
This insight suggests that we may have no clue as to
How fast fear causes our leadership skills to jump ship
Though this identity crises makes me feel unsafe
Here's the crux of the matter:
Though I'd once been a super-duper people pleaser
Satisfying what others wanted me to do—say—or be
Pleasing others is no longer my greatest need—and
If you ask why that's true, I'd reply:
My brain has been actively engaged in working to embrace
A healthy mindset—which denial had bamboozled me into
Believing had been mine, all along!
So, though I feel anxious over the fact that
Vulnerabilities, numbed, over long, feel raw and exposed
I know that today's painful expulsion of a self demeaning mindset
Will be worth tomorrow's gain in personal strength once
My newly expansive frame of mind holds hands with
The free thinking spirit and intuitive soul, who has been
Guiding the frightened child, within, to repair
The good health of her wounded self esteem
Though it's true that this current
Identity crises, catalyzing separation anxiety
Does not feel good, as of yet
The inner peace of which I seek
Will change my life for the better as soon as
My healthy hold on self esteem has had time to
Replace raw vulnerabilies with
Personal strengths, which, upon becoming fully baked, will
Empower me to be true to myself without
Feeling anxious due to inner conflict, born of self doubt
If asked whom I've grown to be, as of right now, I'd reply
I'm an empathetic woman, capable of inspiring others
To go forth into the world, believing in their innate strengths—
And here's how I know for certain that their strengths exist:
Those who have sought asylum at the shelter
Have already mustered the courage necessary to
Leave mental and physical abuse behind—as have I
If asked to foretell the immediate future, I'd say:
Each time my leadership skills and I choose to
Invest my time, energy and spirit to encourage these brave women to
Reenergize the strength of their self-esteem
Guess whose brain will be listening intently to absorb
Strings of insight into deeper truths, which are sure to pop out of my mouth
Your friend,
Annie
PS
I read this in the paper, today:
Everyone starts out without knowledge and muddies through life making do with what they are given.
Though intuition led me to focus upon guiding my sons to think for themselves, I've come to see why it is, presently, my turn to unmuddy my thoughts in hopes of seeking insight into clarity as I lead myself toward adventuring into the great unknown, which lies directly ahead of us, all—
My gosh! Think of the mass of mixed messages which may have continued to muddy my decisions had I not opened my mind when my niece and cousin encouraged me to write this blog! Thank goodness, I've worked to develop astute listening skills, right? I mean, whom are we meant to hear with an ear bent toward clarity if not ourselves?
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