2002
Swinging— (briefly recapping ...)
... "I’m writing our story in hopes of connecting with those who believe in the importance of personal growth. I recognize that most people work so hard at other endeavors that there's little time or energy to attend evening or weekend seminars, much less read and absorb the findings of hundreds of authors, concerning effective communications, love, friendship, and family. As division of labor proves necessary—this has become my labor of love.”
“Annie, I still don't understand why you need to spend so much time analyzing love and friendship ...”
"Well Mom, some of us thrive while analyzing and reconstructing parts of the human body that malfunction. Some create life sustaining medicines. Some analyze and reconstruct cars. Planes. Rockets. Some compose soul stirring music. Some create mouth watering morsels that nourish our senses as much as our bodies. Athletes thrive while striving to attain personal goals that feed our need to cheer our teams on to victory. Some thrive by focusing their minds on piloting planes, space exploration or connecting our minds to sound waves via ear phones plugged into iPods. Some thrive while analyzing computers, children's' toys, tennis strokes, golf swings. Crimes. The mind thrives with innovative discovery. I thrive while analyzing relationships that stand the test of time vs. those that don't. I'm intrigued by the inclusive and illusive nature of ... Love"
"I know that, Annie. But why?"
"That's a very good question, Mom. The truth is, I don't know that answer—yet. But you know what 'they' say: Ask the question, today. Live into the answer, tomorrow."
"Well, that's another thing—who in the world are 'they'? And why are 'they' so sure the answers will come?"
(Now I'm chuckling, because, once again, the same people, who suggest that I've grown too deep are the very ones who ask questions that stimulate my desire to dig even deeper than before!)
"Well—that's a really astute question, Mom! Let's see ... off the top of my head, I'd say: 'They' represent the spirit of wisdom, which passes strings of insight forward along the time line from one generation to the next. As to why they're' so sure that the answers will come, down the road ... well that perception makes sense, because hindsight suggests that, with time, as emotional turmoil clears, objectivity is more likely to emerge. But we need to do more than wait for answers to appear. If answers lay within, we need to quest, openly and hopefully into ourselves.
If we fear self awareness, denial will make certain that the brain's hopeless sense of foggy darkness will not lift. And since that train of thought makes sense to me, I'll stick with my perception until such time as experience may offer me sound reason to replace today's sense of truth with insight into deeper truth, which tends to emerge in bits and pieces until insight into a bigger picture comes together. Each time a deeper truth disproves today's train of thought, my perception has sound reason to change, somewhere down the road ..."
2014
At that earlier time in my life (more than a decade ago), I'd not yet identified the underlying reason, which drives my need to analyze life, love and conflict resolution to this very day. I had no clue that over the next decade, life was about to offer me experiences, which would drive me to explore self awareness ever more deeply than ever before. That during the decade to come, 'they' (the spirits of sages, which pass insight from one generation to the next) would prove right on the mark, concerning: 'Live until the answers to your questions emerge from deep within your own mind'.
Had Mom questioned me, today, I'd not have felt stymied, concerning that which fuels my passionate quest for clarity, concerning the heart-brain connection, which creates each person's perception of reality. All I knew at that earlier time was this: My life's work as a teacher of children began to develop a greater sense of depth while observing my eldest child mimic me—first by smiling when I smiled, laughing when I laughed, following my example by mimicking my body language while waving bye-bye and responding to 'how big is the baby'. Then came the day when my child responded to my sense of authority with his own by mimicking a resounding,"NO!"—in such a free spirited, independent manner, which should not have shocked me, because of this fact: My sweet cherub's tone of voice had so resembled my own ... and though I'd no clue of relating my child's mimicking me to my mimicking role models when I was a tot ... the depth of that perceptive awareness would come, along with endless strings of insights, concerning conflict resolution, which pop out of my mind each time a puzzling experience challenges my sense of self to develop ...
Had Mom asked me those questions concerning my need to write about the affects of self awareness, concerning lasting friendships vs, those that self destruct, here's what I'd reply, today: When friendships self destruct, at least one mind blocks insight into deeper truth by raising defensive walls, behind which egocentric attitudes, negative focus and power struggles, based in fear, run the show.
Lasting friendships, which thrive, depend upon each person's self confidence to muster the courage to look inside where both sides of human nature struggle for dominance within each mind. A true friendship is based in self confident, positively focused, solution seeking traits, which free both minds to engage in intelligent, heartfelt debates, suggesting the ability to muster the humility to glean insight into change for the better by listening attentively to opinions, which may be better informed than one's own. On the other hand, many levels of friendship exist, suggesting that loved ones need not travel on the same mental wavelengths to enjoy each other's company or to come to each other's aid. A true friend is one who does not feel a need to level playing fields by putting you down as soon as you turn your back. That last description highlights a frenemy, of which I choose to have none.
Proving to be a person who loves people, this subject, concerning the conscious development of openminded, compassionate character traits, eager to create change for the better, first at home, then expanding, over time, to embrace the world, fascinates me to no end. And if we listed those traits, necessary to create lasting change for the better, near the top we'd find ... listening skills.
As the only constant in life is change, and as change creates conflict, you and I can see why my think tank awakens, feeling passionately inspired to simplify mental complexity by writing, daily, for hours about creating change for the better by offering you a bird's eye view of a family that learned to brainstorm toward mutually respectful, conflict resolution as naturally as others fight their way through life. And in hopes of inspiring attitudes, the world over, to focus on creating positive change for the better in home after home, I cast each train of thought into cyberspace as soon as my mind pulls into a station, where my life force can rest and refuel in hopes of awakening each morning, eager to achieve the kind of success that offers my spirit sound reason to thrive and even soar ... if not every day, at least many more days than had been true when my mind felt as confused as a maze, causing my spirit to feel heavy when my needs conflicted with the needs of those I love until I got a clue as to how often denial runs interference with clarity. Whew!
Story by story, I aim to show you how one child grew up to achieve heartfelt goals, which proved long range, by mustering the courage to stand up to take one small, positively focused step forward after feeling shot down, time and again. And not until this child grew up to understand both sides of human nature did she recognize the importance of discerning what thinking for herself, meant in depth.
Somehow, a fortune cookie, which I'd taped to my computer, comes to mind: Lust is about getting ... Love is about giving. In order for lust and love to last throughout a lifetime, I've come to believe that our hearts and minds must embrace a healthy, strong spirited, respectful sense of balance in all things, suggesting that one person cannot keep pouring from the pitcher without taking time out to receive replenishment, because common sense suggests that without replenishment even the most generous of hearts experiences an exhausted sense of despair of being heard ... "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears ... ". Mark Anthony
78 nations and counting ...
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