1061 NO! NO! NOT AGAIN! REVISITED 4

4
2002

“Yes, Annie, that year was very, very sad.  As years pass, life and relationships grow complex.  When we lost Janet, I learned LIFE’s most difficult lesson.  Nothing belongs to us.  Not things and certainly not people. That’s especially true about the people we love most.  Either we die or they die.  It's so hard to accept the fact that death is forever.  Whoever lives longest loses an entire generation.  Maybe that’s why pious Jews are garbed in white shrouds and buried in pine boxes without personal adornments of any kind.  Ashes to ashes.  Dust to dust.”

Placing my arm protectively around my mother's shoulder, our train of thought opens up this memory: “I remember Dad telling me that Grandma Bailey had been so in love with Grandpa Yacob, she'd glowed in his presence.  That after he was gone, her spirit never recaptured its spark.  That made me wonder what Grandma had been like when Grandpa was alive.  I was close with Grandma, and I never thought of her as dispirited.”

“Grandma Bailey loved Grandpa deeply, Annie.  Though she regained a happy outlook on life, Dad was right about her spirit.  She never recaptured that same zest for life.  And having lost Dad, I know exactly how she felt.  Most days, I pretend he's in the next room.”

2014
Hero worship is not uncommon in our family

When we love, heartfelt emotion sparkles forth, joyously—and
Personally, I wouldn't have it any other way ...
Though death is irreversible
Decisions, based in inner conflict, are reversible, and
Thus does intuition suggest that
As anxiety calms down, my think tank is capable of
Creating a nourishing soufflé, which
Once fully baked, saves my spirit from falling flat on its face

Not everything is rational, and not everything can be explained.  If you don't allow some room for something poetic, for something magical, for something surprising without the need to explain it away, you do a great disservice to your heart …    Marc Maron—comedian

Something poetic
Something magical
Something surprising
Something so delightful as not to be rationally explained
And that poetic, magical, surprisingly delightful 'something'
Defines what loving freely, naturally, intuitively, whole-heartedly
Feels like to me … 
As it makes good sense to quest toward insight into
Deeper truth, which frees my mind to
Love less exclusively, more expansively than
Had been possible when, as a young woman
My passion had focused upon how best to civilize
A trio of teen-aged warriors into three, strong, sensitive men
I awaken, each day, with a heartfelt passion to gain insight into
'Something' that intrigues me to no end …
And that 'something', which proves
Poetic, magical, surprising, delightful and spiritually enlightening is
The power inherent in LOVING each other intuitively and unconditionally …

Though yesteryear's conflicted trains of thought may not have developed the clarity necessary for creating a fully baked soufle, a relaxed mind may intuitively touch upon the heartfelt ingredient, which had been missing when anxiety had interfered with clarity—I mean, think about it:
Five star chefs do not follow the recipes of others—we create our own :)

And now that this little engine
Has pulled today's train of thought into
A positively focused station
Intuition suggests that as soon as
I wish you a five star day
Ce post est finis :) *****