1058 NO! NO! NOT AGAIN! REVISITED 1

1

Thank goodness, the months following Lauren’s birth pass, cautiously, uneventfully, cheerfully until one evening when Jack, finally, convinces Jennie to leave her two, small, healthy daughters in the care of his sister, our adoring Aunt Sari, so he and his sweetheart can enjoy each other’s company away from the family.  Aunt Sari, the elder of Dad's two kid sisters, is not chosen as caretaker, because Mom has lost trust in Grandma.  Grandma is wintering in Miami Beach at the home of her eldest son as is her habit.

When my parents return at about 10 PM, Mom makes a beeline for her bedroom, and leaning over the railing of the crib, she places her palm, lightly, on her infant daughter's back to make certain that Lauren is breathing.  This is Mom's habit—several times during each of my sister's naps.  *Subconscious fear never strays far from the conscious mind.

Each night, Mom pulls my sister's crib snugly against her side of the double bed, which she shares with Dad.  Throughout the night, Mom sleeps lightly, facing Lauren, with one arm between the slats of the crib. In this way her hand, resting protectively on her infant's back, rises and falls gently in time with Lauren's intake and exhale of breath.  Each morning, before making the bed, Mom pushes the crib back to the wall.  *When fear runs the show, inner peace is displaced by a push, pull, push, pull reaction, which lasts indefinitely.

In retrospect, Dad must have been quite convincing to get Mom to leave the house while Lauren is sound asleep.  Does Mom enjoy their night out or does anxiety get the best of her?

Upon returning home, later that evening, a coincidence occurs, which provides us with two insights:

—Two situations, which, at first glance, seem exactly the same, may prove clearly dissimilar once the surface is pierced and details distinguish one experience from the other.

—No matter our most valiant efforts to understand conception, life, love, friendship, luck, fate, human nature, truth and justice, illness, good and evil, death, innate intelligence, denial, intuitive thought and the impassioned sensitivities of human emotion, unnerving mysteries prevail.  Knowing this, we tread carefully until a leap of faith proves vital to personal growth and inner peace.

Before I describe the arcane set of events, which are about to terrify and mystify my parents—again— please note that this story is not meant to provide insight into the existence of a protective or wrathful God.  In fact, for the most part, my stories do not express my beliefs about God or insight into the meaning of life and death.  My purpose in writing this saga expresses this belief:  Much of what we consider to be resultant of fate proves to be a combination of luck, wit, creativity, imagination, attitude, fear, courage, self awareness (or lack of) and choice.

My stories showcase classic vulnerabilities evolving into personal strengths each time experience offers me reason to uphold heartfelt values while figuring out how to meet my needs by employing positive focus until my train of thought pulls into a station where a simple plan shapes up inside my mind, allowing my spirit to thrive more whole heartedly than ever before.  Whew!  You might want to read that twice.  I know I did!

When I reflect upon that which fate has in store for my parents on this night when Dad finally persuades Mom to have some fun, I’m reminded of how courageous our spirits must be if we hope to live life to the fullest rather than allowing fear to reign supreme …