If goal number one concentrates on developing self respect then goal number two suggests working to deepen a growing sense of self control in terms of mutual respect so that when someone feeds a defensive need to shoot me down, I don't shoot back. Instead, I make good use of my think tank by clarifying where another person's darkened misperception of me is flawed.
Though I may feel attacked, my clear-headed response needs to back up what I know of myself with straightforward facts in hopes of offering an adversarial mindset sound reason to drop its defensive shield and freely choose to switch tracks. If my commitment to react with calm and patient leadership is necessary while working to refocus a conversation toward gaining in objectivity then common sense suggests that I maintain a sense of logic so my train of thought does not switch tracks toward defensiveness by shooting back. If I lose sight of my objective, which points toward win-win, change-for-the-better falls back into lose-lose.
When my therapist said that I was addicted to hope, I countered her view of me with this line of reasoning: Addictions are not good for you or me. Rather than feeling addicted to hope, an optimistic realist draws forth resilient strengths when aiming toward resuscitating a relationship gone south, which had once felt pleasurably peaceful to both. As long as I choose to participate in an adversarial relationship my sense of hopeful resilience must remain intact until the other person musters the courage and humility necessary to recognize how often unrealistic expectations and assumptive misunderstandings create defensive attitudes on both sides. As defensive attitudes cause many loving relationships to descend into hell, both people need to identify and take responsibility for their own assumptive mistakes in judgement. In order for minds to open to change for the better, both injured egos need to be placed in time out. When injured egos are not allowed to take center stage, a relationship is more apt to take a realistic turn for the better. This is where The Line Of Control serves me well. (The line of control is a tool I created as a calming technique, which saved my sanity each time contentious interactions heated up between my sons and self discipline was necessary, all around. This problem-solving tool was described in a story' concerning self control and trust, found in posts 696-700 beginning on May 14th, 2013)
So ... If the law of nature suggests that opposites attract and if I know myself to be an optimist at heart and if, as a cock-eyed optimist, I am naturally attracted to 'cynisists', then thank goodness I've gained insight into the importance of mustering the patience necessary to discuss different points of view objectively rather than heatedly at those times when an adversarial attitude proves more pessimistic than mine. You see, when I offer love, my love runs too deep to give up on those whose defensive shields blind them to their own self defeating traits ...
If you ask me to explain the greatest difference between an optimistic and pessimistic view, I'd reply...
Though I may feel attacked, my clear-headed response needs to back up what I know of myself with straightforward facts in hopes of offering an adversarial mindset sound reason to drop its defensive shield and freely choose to switch tracks. If my commitment to react with calm and patient leadership is necessary while working to refocus a conversation toward gaining in objectivity then common sense suggests that I maintain a sense of logic so my train of thought does not switch tracks toward defensiveness by shooting back. If I lose sight of my objective, which points toward win-win, change-for-the-better falls back into lose-lose.
When my therapist said that I was addicted to hope, I countered her view of me with this line of reasoning: Addictions are not good for you or me. Rather than feeling addicted to hope, an optimistic realist draws forth resilient strengths when aiming toward resuscitating a relationship gone south, which had once felt pleasurably peaceful to both. As long as I choose to participate in an adversarial relationship my sense of hopeful resilience must remain intact until the other person musters the courage and humility necessary to recognize how often unrealistic expectations and assumptive misunderstandings create defensive attitudes on both sides. As defensive attitudes cause many loving relationships to descend into hell, both people need to identify and take responsibility for their own assumptive mistakes in judgement. In order for minds to open to change for the better, both injured egos need to be placed in time out. When injured egos are not allowed to take center stage, a relationship is more apt to take a realistic turn for the better. This is where The Line Of Control serves me well. (The line of control is a tool I created as a calming technique, which saved my sanity each time contentious interactions heated up between my sons and self discipline was necessary, all around. This problem-solving tool was described in a story' concerning self control and trust, found in posts 696-700 beginning on May 14th, 2013)
So ... If the law of nature suggests that opposites attract and if I know myself to be an optimist at heart and if, as a cock-eyed optimist, I am naturally attracted to 'cynisists', then thank goodness I've gained insight into the importance of mustering the patience necessary to discuss different points of view objectively rather than heatedly at those times when an adversarial attitude proves more pessimistic than mine. You see, when I offer love, my love runs too deep to give up on those whose defensive shields blind them to their own self defeating traits ...
If you ask me to explain the greatest difference between an optimistic and pessimistic view, I'd reply...
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