Saturday, February 15, 2014

932 NGUOUY Part 96 WE WAIT WITH BATED BREATH …

Uh—we need to back track to Thursday, October 3, 2013
Ten days after Will's surgery:
David, plans to fly home to the coast on Friday
Today, Thursday, he has driven us to see Dr. B.
And when the catheter hose has been removed
Imagine our relief!
Imagine we three, sitting in the exam room with Dr. B, when
Will's surgeon pulls the pathology report out of my husband's file
Imagine us waiting with bated breath to hear
Whether the margins are clean …
Imagine three hopeful spirits plummeting upon
Hearing that after two months of
Waiting for surgery, Will is not cancer free ...

Now, imagine yourself asking:
Annie, upon hearing such disillusioning news, why
Didn't your anxiety spike, anew?
Imagine me replying:  That's a very good question
Upon reflection, here's my answer:
When we left Dr. B's office
My conscious mind was able to dwell solely upon Will's well being …
Because my body had been drugged, so
My adrenals did not go into over production—suggesting that
Subconscious fear could not turn my brain into a runaway train
As my thought processes became as clear minded as Will's
He and I were capable of
Taking good care of ourselves and each other
With this turn of events, all three of ou sons
Felt free to resume their lives so
Later in the day, after driving me to see my internist
David flew home as planned  ...
As to my mental block?
The missing detail was still readying itself to
Slip through the crack in my defensive wall ...
And as timing, clarity, and my determined attitude
Are everything—please stay tuned 

February 15, 2014
Hospice was called for my mom ...
I'm writing from the Midwest ...

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