September 24, 2013
This is a large hospital with twenty-two operating rooms. The recovery room holds many beds, each curtained off from the others. While standing watch at Will's side, waiting for his eyes to open, love for this good man with whom I've shared every day of my adult life wells up inside me. Within a moment or two, Will's eyelids flutter; then grimicing with pain, his eyes open, and upon seeing me, he smiles and so do I; then, eyes closing, his grimace returns.
As though on its own, my hand strokes my husband's cheek and bending over to kiss his lips lightly, I say: Will, I'm going to tell the nurse you need something for pain.
At this, Will's eyes open and he replies: No, she just gave me a shot.
Then his grimace tightens, so leaving his side, I seek out his nurse, introduce myself and speak of Will's discomfort. She smiles and says: The anesthetic is wearing off; I have a shot waiting beside his bed.
Will said he just had a shot.
No. I've been waiting for him to ask for it.
Relieved to have followed my own lead, she and I return to Will.
As though sensing our presence, Will opens his eyes, and when the nurse asks how he feels, my husband smiles, turns toward me and replies: As long as my dolly is here, I'm fine. (Dolly had been my Dad's pet name for me. Once Dad was gone, Will chose it as his own …)
Injection in hand, Will's nurse gets down to business: On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst, how's the pain?
About ... Eight
Next thing we know, Will is injected with a trip to Lala Land, and as his features relax and his eyes close, his grimace transforms into peaceful repose …
By now, it's about 3:30 and having received word that every bed in the hospital is full, we'll remain in recovery until a patient is discharged.
While Will dozes, I slide my hand gently free of his and find my way through the corridor maze back to the inner sanctum, so that everyone who's waited throughout the day can take turns visiting him, two at a time. If there's one thing I know without question it's this: There's little in life more uplifting then two loving hearts smiling into each other's eyes.
It's close to 5PM when our volunteer lets us know that a room has been vacated. I thank her, again, for every kindness, and after we hug, she lets us know her shift is over and wishes us well.
It's been a long day, all around, so after tidying up, tossing plastic bottles, paper cups, and various wrappers into the trash, we gather our things, and when the door to the inner sanctum locks behind us, everyone moves forward toward whatever lies ahead.
Then, while making our way through the corridor maze, this hope springs eternal: The next leg of our journey will lead us all toward better days, beginning, right now. If you ask what makes me believe that's true, I'd reply: In the absence of hope, life can feel like barreling cliffside without any brakes, suggesting that the only way to go is down. Secondly, who wants to write a story about a heroine whose spirit remains afraid of dark shadows until she exhales her very last breath?
February 7, 2014
Head stuffy, nose sneezy, wondering if Will's bug bit me, too …
Friends from Will's residency years are in town
Much to our disappointment, all around, illness forced our hand, causing us to cancel last night's dinner plans.
We expect house guests, Lara and Mack, tomorrow, from the frigid Midwest.
Got an email from Mack, yesterday, which said:
Six more inches of snow ... Get me out of here!
I responded with a :) and this caution:
Will's got a cold ...
Mack's response?
Cold, shmold … it's freezing! We're coming!!
That made me laugh
Mack and Lara are down to earth, high spirited, caring, lots of fun and
Here's the icing on the cake:
Mack's the funniest person I've ever met
If laughter's the best medicine, he's just what the doctor ordered …
Did I mention that after an annual stress test, Mack's cardiologist hospitalized our dear friend, immediately? That before sun set, Lara's tearful kiss brought a smile to Mack's face in recovery after his quintuple by pass shocked the socks off of everyone who loves this energetic guy, who works out and eats right? Several years back, Mack shocked the heck out of me. He'd called to catch up, and when he heard I was scheduled for brain surgery, later that week, my dear friend burst into tears—Amazing how swiftly a rip tide of emotion sweeps a strong man's shield away …
Spoke to Steven, yesterday, about making plans to be with Mom, next week. Sadly, his friend, Allen, is still comatose. Very scary ... Friends and family are rightfully terrified.
Received calls from Barry and Scott, last night
We four made plans to fly to Midwest, after Will is well, next week
Left a message for Steven to call me ...
Life proves a wild ride
Buckle up
Hang on
Live it fully
Weave safety nets, but
Make certain not to tangle one around your spirit
If you and I are as fortunate to celebrate 100 years, like my mom
Then rather than reflecting back with regret
Let's brainstorm until a simple plan offers our spirits time
To lock eyes with loved ones on both sides of the street while
Good health frees our hearts to travel, back and forth …
If not as often as we'd like …
At least now and then …
I mean, seriously—love is not part of life—love is life …
And that's a wrap
This is a large hospital with twenty-two operating rooms. The recovery room holds many beds, each curtained off from the others. While standing watch at Will's side, waiting for his eyes to open, love for this good man with whom I've shared every day of my adult life wells up inside me. Within a moment or two, Will's eyelids flutter; then grimicing with pain, his eyes open, and upon seeing me, he smiles and so do I; then, eyes closing, his grimace returns.
As though on its own, my hand strokes my husband's cheek and bending over to kiss his lips lightly, I say: Will, I'm going to tell the nurse you need something for pain.
At this, Will's eyes open and he replies: No, she just gave me a shot.
Then his grimace tightens, so leaving his side, I seek out his nurse, introduce myself and speak of Will's discomfort. She smiles and says: The anesthetic is wearing off; I have a shot waiting beside his bed.
Will said he just had a shot.
No. I've been waiting for him to ask for it.
Relieved to have followed my own lead, she and I return to Will.
As though sensing our presence, Will opens his eyes, and when the nurse asks how he feels, my husband smiles, turns toward me and replies: As long as my dolly is here, I'm fine. (Dolly had been my Dad's pet name for me. Once Dad was gone, Will chose it as his own …)
Injection in hand, Will's nurse gets down to business: On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst, how's the pain?
About ... Eight
Next thing we know, Will is injected with a trip to Lala Land, and as his features relax and his eyes close, his grimace transforms into peaceful repose …
By now, it's about 3:30 and having received word that every bed in the hospital is full, we'll remain in recovery until a patient is discharged.
While Will dozes, I slide my hand gently free of his and find my way through the corridor maze back to the inner sanctum, so that everyone who's waited throughout the day can take turns visiting him, two at a time. If there's one thing I know without question it's this: There's little in life more uplifting then two loving hearts smiling into each other's eyes.
It's close to 5PM when our volunteer lets us know that a room has been vacated. I thank her, again, for every kindness, and after we hug, she lets us know her shift is over and wishes us well.
It's been a long day, all around, so after tidying up, tossing plastic bottles, paper cups, and various wrappers into the trash, we gather our things, and when the door to the inner sanctum locks behind us, everyone moves forward toward whatever lies ahead.
Then, while making our way through the corridor maze, this hope springs eternal: The next leg of our journey will lead us all toward better days, beginning, right now. If you ask what makes me believe that's true, I'd reply: In the absence of hope, life can feel like barreling cliffside without any brakes, suggesting that the only way to go is down. Secondly, who wants to write a story about a heroine whose spirit remains afraid of dark shadows until she exhales her very last breath?
February 7, 2014
Head stuffy, nose sneezy, wondering if Will's bug bit me, too …
Friends from Will's residency years are in town
Much to our disappointment, all around, illness forced our hand, causing us to cancel last night's dinner plans.
We expect house guests, Lara and Mack, tomorrow, from the frigid Midwest.
Got an email from Mack, yesterday, which said:
Six more inches of snow ... Get me out of here!
I responded with a :) and this caution:
Will's got a cold ...
Mack's response?
Cold, shmold … it's freezing! We're coming!!
That made me laugh
Mack and Lara are down to earth, high spirited, caring, lots of fun and
Here's the icing on the cake:
Mack's the funniest person I've ever met
If laughter's the best medicine, he's just what the doctor ordered …
Did I mention that after an annual stress test, Mack's cardiologist hospitalized our dear friend, immediately? That before sun set, Lara's tearful kiss brought a smile to Mack's face in recovery after his quintuple by pass shocked the socks off of everyone who loves this energetic guy, who works out and eats right? Several years back, Mack shocked the heck out of me. He'd called to catch up, and when he heard I was scheduled for brain surgery, later that week, my dear friend burst into tears—Amazing how swiftly a rip tide of emotion sweeps a strong man's shield away …
Spoke to Steven, yesterday, about making plans to be with Mom, next week. Sadly, his friend, Allen, is still comatose. Very scary ... Friends and family are rightfully terrified.
Received calls from Barry and Scott, last night
We four made plans to fly to Midwest, after Will is well, next week
Left a message for Steven to call me ...
Life proves a wild ride
Buckle up
Hang on
Live it fully
Weave safety nets, but
Make certain not to tangle one around your spirit
If you and I are as fortunate to celebrate 100 years, like my mom
Then rather than reflecting back with regret
Let's brainstorm until a simple plan offers our spirits time
To lock eyes with loved ones on both sides of the street while
Good health frees our hearts to travel, back and forth …
If not as often as we'd like …
At least now and then …
I mean, seriously—love is not part of life—love is life …
And that's a wrap
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