Each time Intuition compels me to muster the determination to penetrate another layer of my defense system's wall of denial, every gain in self awareness is synonymous with deepening my sense of self empowerment, which is why my thought processor and spirit feel forever grateful for every change-for-the-better that proves as positively focused as that! One day, the benefits of EMDR therapy will have become so widespread that every student, studying psychotherapy, will be required to take that course before earning his or her degree. Fortunately, my therapist co-authored the textbook used in universities, today
The fact that I ask so many questions about the benefits of EMDR, during each therapy session, offered my intuition reason to hope that with patience, I'd make good use of the listening and speaking skills that I chose to acquire when my sons were young to (coach) coax David's subconscious to feel ready to reveal an unidentified fear to his conscious awareness, and here is why that train of thought, based in countless strings of insight, made my stomach stop churning: Knowledge is power, and my recent accumulation of knowledge, concerning the cumulative effects of relentless periods of stress, jump started my thought processor's well oiled wheels to start turning ...
Assuming that you agree with my assessment that 'stress busters' gained should be passed forward, let's backtrack a bit so I can fill you in on what caused David, who proves to be a strongly independent free thinker (who had chosen to leave law to drive to Hollywood, determined to write comedy, though everyone, except for his brothers and me, thought he's lost his mind) to change his mind and make that SOS call for help, after all:
About ten days ago, David, who has been dealing admirably with intense, relentless back pain, over these last six months, began to feel somewhat better, and over-confidently, he pushed it and exercised a bit too much ... His pain flared so much as to dash his hopes of recovery as though all of his valiant determination to heal himself, over these many difficult months, had been utterly futile, and as anxiety struck, like a flash of lightening, so much adrenalin rushed through his brain as to empower his limbic system to high jack his sense of logic, leaving him to feel that he will live in this utterly painful, physically debilitated, dependent state of worthless uselessness, forever ... And that's where PTSD takes center stage, because that was David's subconscious fear, left in an unidentified (unprocessed) state, six years ago, when he's suffered the acute trauma of two emergency spine surgeries, ten days apart, which left him completely dependent on Will and me for more than a year ...
Though he didn't say any of this to me when he called for moral support, I, knowing his history of spine injuries, requiring several surgeries, as well as his strength of character, surmised that after six months of dealing with the intensity of unrelenting pain, by himself, his mental courage was at its wits end, and as I sensed that David's positive focus was fully spent, my son was in need of emotional support as well as the calm perspective of knowledgable loved ones, (one knowledgable in orthopedics, the other who had worked to absorb the insight and ability to coach his exhausted mind to reset his inner compass from negatively focused fear [based in his traumatic spine injury, which had required emergency surgeries, several years back], toward recharging his positively focused attitude, which was hanging off of the edge of the cliff, staring straight down into the black hole of despair, which was threatening to swallow the exhausted sum of his many personal strengths, whole ... until he thought to call PTSD BUSTERS) so upon answering our son's 911 call, I knew that David was in need of brainstorming with his mother and father (who, as you may remember has an excellent reputation as an (retired) Orthopaedic surgeon, and while I was penning this post, (written while we were on the coast, though not posted until today) David's personal Orthopaedic surgeon was ubering over to fetch his son to confer with our son's doctor. Though Dr. Will believes to know what happened to spike David's pain and though I believe I know what spiked his anxiety to high jack our highly intelligent son's sense of logic, I'll fill in those details and update you once I learn more, after David and Will return from the doctor's. If David feels that his crises has passed, we'll fly home, if not, we'll stay ... 💞
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