Earlier in the week, I shared my disappointment with a dear cousin—so sorry to cancel our plans to celebrate at his daughter's wedding at the end of June. Four cousins, a quartet of siblings, all at least eight years younger than me, will be there, and as I'd babysat for them when we were young, you can imagine my eagerness to fly out and enjoy our loving, three day reunion, where, surrounded by the woodsy beauty inherent to this fir tree'd region of the Southwest, this mother hen longed to embrace her chicks, as I'd referred to them, time and again.
There are no non stop flights between my home and this destination, so two flights, separated by a four hour layover, suggest my need to travel, all day, each way ... and willfully that's been my plan ... until this undertaking drew near, and clarity, stimulated by weeks of elevated pain, made me reconsider my decision to join in the fun. Seriously ... considering the degree of pain that had kept me from driving, keeping me pretty much house bound, 24/7, since nephew's wedding in April, well ... you can easily see why my brain balked at repeating that cycle, so soon.
Bottom line, reality suggests that I cannot attend this event, fly home and then fly away to celebrate a bar mitzvah, which my mom is also attending, four days later. Annie's Wonder Woman days are long gone.
Then ... along comes Lady Luck! Just received a call from youngest son, who plans to fly home to celebrate his birthday on the same day that I'm flying home from the bar mitzvah ... suggesting one door closing and another opening so quickly that my frustration at missing wedding and cousins' reunion, due to health issues, has melted into the warm, rosy glow that's buoyed my spirit ever since hearing youngest son say ... miss you guys, let's celebrate my b/d together :) :) :)
With so much love pouring in from all directions my heart fills with too much gratitude to feel disappointed, over long. Though life can feel as thorny as certain relationships prove to be, thankfully, the intelligent side of my mind has sought to absorb a host of positively focused attitudes of emotional flexibility, which lean, most often, toward consciously acknowledging what a lucky duck I truly am :)
Returned home from dentist, late that same afternoon, to find second born son and two of his buds ensconced on living room couches, eager to watch Spurs and Heat duke it out. Though delighted by this surprise, I couldn't help but think ... Oh dear, two women are due to arrive, shortly, to discuss easing their way through family strife. Briiing-briiing—answer phone—ladies need to reschedule—Lady Luck keeps smiling at lucky duck—lucky duck smiles back :) :)
PS ... Wonder if you've ever read older post concerning the fickle nature of Lady Luck? I'll thumb back and find it ...
I really hold on to the hope that everyone in my extended family will one day embrace the insight to work toward solutions that benefit all. It actually makes me sad to realize that that hope may be based in denial. Called my husband's grandma for Mother's Day - never heard back. Sent a gift - again no word. I really wanted to show my husband that MY optimism is not wrong, because who would cut ties with grandchildren and great-grandchildren? I have to find a way for my sanity, to accept that everyone approaches conflict differently and that we do not all face problems with an "all for one and one for all attitude". Guess I'd do best to focus on creating that attitude in our home for our kids. Though at times your posts, concerning facing difficult realities, make me sad, they also make me think, so thank you, Annie. I have a sitter here, today, and am determined to clean out closets, so I'd better shift my focus to getting that done.
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