717 HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN??? MOTHER NATURES GIFTS OF CONFUSION/PAIN/GAIN :)

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME???
Uh wait ... here are questions which prove more astute:
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?
AND... WHAT MUST I LEARN ABOUT MYSELF THAT I'VE NOT YET THOUGHT TO QUESTION?

When reaching in to answer that last question for myself, this insight emerged:
Much of my inner conflict occurs when the insightful side of my mind, which quests for deeper truths, clashes with convention—hmmm ... 

At times, questions and comments are sent by folk who request privacy.  Upon replying personally to them, I request permission to paraphrase my response in a post down the road.  As today’s post is an example of that, here is my response to a classic situation where another picture perfect family is processing through major change, and while processing through change much comes undone before restructuring is complete. (Perhaps if we knew that restructuring is classic to change, the power of knowledge might shorten time spent in anguish over how the unimaginable could happen to those who prove as responsible, compassionate and charismatic as ... you and me :)

At some point in the life of every child, it is classic to have reason to feel left out of some group important to the spirit's sense of well being.  When this 'left out' feeling repeats too often, a child on the outside looking in may compensate by developing a subconscious sensitivity to taking care not to do that to others.  When insight into this reaction combines with insight into our herding instinct, we can see why emotional complexity plays a hefty part in the development of each psyche's set of internal rules.

The more painful the childhood, the more mental unrest during conflict, the greater the internal struggle, the more frustrating it is for loved ones, who attempt to help this individual's 'wounded child' wrestle with a wide variety of adult roles, today—often to the point of exhaustion.  I've long said that in the aftermath of a painful childhood, common sense suggests that we reflect over what went amiss in hopes of mindfully re-raising ourselves.

In my experience, families come undone when a major life-changing event causes the proverbial rug to be pulled aside, exposing dirty laundry hidden from the public eye so that the underbelly of family interaction can no longer be denied.  On the other hand, once dirty laundry is hanging on the line in plain sight, an anguished child's adult psyche may find itself ready to identify issues, which had felt too confounding and overwhelming to clarify at earlier stages of life.

The first time epiphany attempted to emerge from deep within me, I was in my late forties, feeling horrified to see my ‘picture perfect’ marriage unraveling more quickly than I could stop pain from bleeding through a series of desperate attempts on my part to erect smoke screens.  The second time epiphany insisted on emerging from my depths occurred when my strong willed mind wore out, and my spirit exhausted from the futility of working to save family relationships from riding through emotional rapids in the aftermath of Dad's death.

In the latter case, emotional exhaustion resulted when compassion—no, make that empathy—for loved ones ran so deep that my mind churned in time with theirs.  Though this signaled my heart's ability to love deeply, I had sound reason to quest toward clarity when dilemmas, which remained unresolved proved enmeshed with the problems of loved ones, masking my need to  address issues of my own.

In case you're beginning to wonder if your 'picture perfect' family may take its turn wandering into a maze where it seems as though those you love most are walking through Hell, you might want to consider this next train of thought more deeply than ever before:  My main reason for writing this blog is to remind myself while encouraging others to focus our minds toward carving a path that expands to include insight into that which your spirit and mine may need to thrive.  You see, when we fool ourselves by ignoring our needs, thriving transforms to surviving in the same way that we say—how ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Paris ...

On another note, as little peeps watch adult role models working their way toward simplifying that which, at first glance, appears too complex to comprehend, monkey-see-monkey-do may begin to absorb many of the same inner strengths that they observe developing within a deep thinking role model like you.

So, though carving a path toward self discovery may prove exhausting, now and then, those of us who choose the road less taken may rejoice over this fact: Though most people feel mired deep within life's hazy mist of a maze at some time or another, those with strong team mates, who manage to hold fast to positive focus also manage to take one leap of faith after another until we come to see that wherever we're heading is actually—ALL good, as long as we don’t lose sight of the well being of everyone concerned :)

If at present you feel exhausted and/or in pain and if you're having a hard time understanding why I say pain is good then please indulge this reiteration—no pain, no gain.  You see, just as with confusion, pain is also Mother Nature's gift, suggesting that the narrow scope of your attitude may be in need of change.

In order to redirect change from a negative bent toward a positive outlook, it’s wise to work at developing our sixth sense in hopes that creative thinking may ignite insight, which recognizes positive change taking place before conventional minds begin to identify the fact that during the process of change, tons of conflict resolution may require two think tanks to work overtime.

Bottom line, if your spirit feels optimistic while your attitude is adjusting to accepting the fact that an active mind like yours has need to experiment with life in order for your spirit to thrive and if you can muster the courage to consciously walk ever so cautiously more deeply into a mind maze of your own making then what I ask, could feel better than knowing that you, like the ant moving the rubber tree plant, are inching forward—day by day, little by little—toward achieving a long range goal, which may prove far more enriching than giving up on whatever it is that makes your spirit feel fully alive!!! :) :)

And that, my friends, may be the most insightful, run-on sentence I've ever penned! :)