Who believes in you when you lose faith in yourself? ... I DO, THAT'S WHO!
If you ask why that's true, I'll reply: I've come to understand the ways in which a confidence crises undermines strong spirits, sharp minds.
If you ask:
If you ask why that's true, I'll reply: I've come to understand the ways in which a confidence crises undermines strong spirits, sharp minds.
If you ask:
If you believe that wandering into a confidence crises is unusual for a specific child or adult, it's important to surmise which fear may be shaking that person's sense of self trust. At some point, everyone experiences a self confidence crises except for me... Ha! Please note: I just made light of this serious subject in hopes of lightening your mind for this reason ... once fear is placed in a time out chair, trains of thought are more apt to brighten our minds with insight into whatever may be catalyzing a down-in-the-mouth attitude that casts dark shadows upon one's ability to proceed, step by step, toward achieving success.
When a loved one or friend or colleague experiences confidence crises, it’s important that he or she sense that you are NOT caught up in the fear factor, too. It's important to remember that once sensed, fear can be highly contagious. Enter a room filled with fearful tension ... your brain grows tense without so much as a clue to what's going on. The animal portion of the human brain senses danger closing in before intelligence has a clue as to whether or not that danger is a threat to us.
Rather than trying to convince a person in crises that you believe in him/her ... FEEL confident that this reaction will be short lived or else a person in crises, sensing your fear, may heighten his own. (For simplicity's sake, he, him, his will take on unisex meaning)
Once your belief in another person’s strong spirited capabilities resuscitates ...
Make a plan to ENJOY one-on-one time, together
Spend this time expressing traits of his that you admire
Then ask which traits he admires in you
Next ask which traits he admires within himself
If, with fear squeezing his mind, he can't think of anything positive, right off the bat
Remind him of difficult tasks he's already mastered—step by step
Then express something you fear, today or in the past, about yourself
Follow up with subtle questions concerning anything he may fear, presently
If questions flow out from the inquisitive rather than the fearful part of your mind then both comfort zones relax, and ease of mind may allow his fear to expose itself. If you strike gold, great, if you hit stalemate, he may feel too afraid to air fear aloud, as of yet.
If he does not know or can't share the main root of his confidence crises with you, then I'd suggest sharing a story where you tried unsuccessfully to achieve a goal and worried so darkly that the bright side of your mind got squished into a tight little knot of fear until you realized that certain goals, which are difficult to achieve, are referred to as long range, because lofty achievements are realized in baby steps. Then tell him a good natured story, where he's the main character. Relate how hard it was as a baby to turn over at four months, to sit up at six months, to figure out at eight months how to go from rocking on hands and knees to crawling, how many times a one year old stands up, takes a step, falls down ... laughs, stands up, takes a step, falls down ... laughs while everyone applauds, because one of his best traits proves to be his strong spirited, instinctive belief that if he does not give up, another illusive, long range goal will be achieved. And because of that innate, instinctive trait, one day that baby was running like the wind ... and pretty soon, riding a trike, then a bike with training wheels until the day when he challenged himself to balance a two wheeler while adults cheered him on—not just after he'd succeeded but while his mind was busy embracing a positive attitude, which challenged him to take each next baby step toward real/izing long range goals, one after another—because that’s how we answer life’s on-going demands. Then ask if he can define attitude and why attitude is everything ... and so on ...
*Most important, please keep this point in mind: Any person undergoing confidence crises needs to feel safely cradled, not just in your heart but in the fact that your confidence in him remains steady specifically at those times when he loses faith in himself :)
Sample questions to ask once emotional safety has been secured between the two of you:
Might something be causing him to fear disappointing a high achieving member of the family? Is he too hard on himself? Is a sibling or co worker excelling in some area, which makes his present achievements feel less significant?
In the interest of time, I'll not relate stories describing nipping confidence crises in my family in the bud, right now.
Please note that confidence crises is spied more readily in others than within self :)
Please note that confidence crises is spied more readily in others than within self :)
If brain storming above does not get person in crises to open up, call a teacher to inquire if specific subject matter has recently grown more difficult in school ... call a coach, concerning unexpected change with position or team mates ... consider an after school activity, music lesson, etc ... consider possibility that person is being teased or bullied and feeling embarrassed or overwhelmed with confusion, he's unconsciously stuffing emotio, while denying his inability to handle whatever is causing fear to addle his mind.
When the subject is confidence crises, brain storming proves effective for this reason:
I believe that with astute and subtle execution of guidance, one can encourage another to exhume fear, undermining strong spirited self confidence. Upon feeling secure with you as his touch stone this person’s natural skill set is likely to re-emerge once a fearful mind calms down. On the other hand, when young, permeable, pliable traits do not have the good fortune to absorb positive attitudes, modeled by those who prove to be patient coaches, attitude formation may remain in a dark and tense, scary place.
Rather than inborn ... attitudes, modeled by adults, are absorbed directly into the memory of a child's Neo cortex just as specific languages and accents become patterned after listening to voices and tones, day after day. During childhood, positive or negative attitudes continue to strengthen until personal traits shape up. Low self esteeming traits shape up inside a mind where passive or fearful trains of thought detour the spirit away from believing in one's innate ability to problem solve, resolve conflicts peaceably or overcome adversity. Each baby is born with instincts that naturally tune into the power of positive thinking over negative thinking ...unless a positive force is absent in the home ...
Bottom line, for the most part, a confidence crises does not present a serious threat to a child’s future as long as significant role models gently and patiently coach the minds of precious little peeps toward reaching each next base :) :) V*****
Again, it’s when the child unconsciously absorbs a role model's fears that that child's self trust may continue to erode while stumbling forth on a dimly lit, rocky road. When considering my fears as a child, I give thanks for the fact that my strongly spirited, blue eyed dad maintaining a firm, yet tender, constant grip of my hand. On the other hand, reflection suggests fortune smiled upon me, again, as I absorbed a positive set of social skills from my lovingly involved mom :)
If asked how I know both statements to be true, I respond, otherwise—confidence crises or not—I'd not have enjoyed such a well balanced personal and professional life :)
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