41 MY TAKE ON TOWER DWELLERS VS. TUNNEL CRAWLERS

If you've ever wondered how tower dwellers differ from tunnel crawlers, then this is your lucky day.  Let's take tunnel crawlers (not to be confused with tunnel vision), first.  :-)

Common sense suggests that when you find yourself in a tunnel, gathering clues in the dark, it's wise to search for a glimmer of insight, signaling the end of confusion ahead.  With time and patience, a hard working tunneler may see glimmers of light come together until a beam of light, highlights this sign:  AHA! MOMENT STRAIGHT AHEAD.   At this point, the twists and turns, which make up this dark maze, straighten out, and low and behold, the tunnel expands and the door to understanding appears!  Though experiencing a state of exhaustion, the tunneler can finally stand up, straight and tall.  And having hungered for clarity, the mind eagerly devours a smorgasbord of logic.  Tunnel crawlers tend to be bookish.

Being human, I've spent time in tunnels and towers, as well.  When envisioning tower dwellers, imagine an ego, wearing blinders, while climbing, precariously, to the top of a pedestal.

Next picture this:  A safety net, grounded in reality and held secure by many loving hearts encircles each pedestal.  However, no matter how care-fully these hearts coax the tower dweller to take a leap of faith—from the past to the present—encouraging pleas fall on deaf ears filled with expectations, left over from yesteryear.

As long as tower dwellers do not know that they've fallen under DENIAL's spell of self imprisonment, the blame game will pick up steam.  Whereas steamy brains wear blinders, and thus can't see the light, spongy brains, wearing miners' hats, shine beams of insights, here and there, in hopes of tunneling toward conflict resolution by soaking up clues—and that's why spongy brains tend to solve today's mysteries, tomorrow.


In short, it stands to reason that tunnelers and tower dwellers stand too far apart to hear each other with anything resembling clarity.  And that's especially true when shouting echos through the chasm between them.  

It stands to reason that a break down in communications requires each person to cast off the ego's protective shield.  Unfortunately, this is easier said than done, because naked egos find countless ways to cover up rather than 'fessing' up to messing up.  Knowing that to be true, I make it my business to place my ego behind my line of self control, so humiliation will not steam up my mind and pound through my blood until I can't think.  And thus rather than turning purple with embarrassment after acknowledging to messing up, the logical side of my mind is able to focus upon listening up with humility intact.


If tunnel crawlers and tower dwellers are to meet halfway, then both would be wise to recognize that the 'dark side' of human nature exists within us all.  As courage precedes humility and humility precedes honesty—my lips tend to zip when pretense suggests that all is well—when I know full well that a power struggle, hiding in a well, is waiting to flood over everyone's best intentions, and drown us all.  Please ... haven't you had more than enough of that!


If it's true that the higher we climb the farther we fall then towerers are charged with taking a downward plunge and tunnelers must come up for air.  And as life is like a trampoline, whereby we all bounce up and down, know you know why I believe that mind that tunnels forth, sponging up insights is a healthy mind. 

I remember one time when my parents were in their late eighties, and my mom was bouncing new ideas off my dad's head.  When our beloved patriarch voiced his frustration by declaring, "I'm too old to change!" here was our beloved matriarch's spunky reply:

"Well, you may be too old to change, but I'm not dead, yet!"

Way to go, Mom!

When Dad asked for my opinion, I smiled, hugged my loving father close, and gently said:  I think Mom has been influenced by the younger generation—namely—Lauren and me.  Though Dad took pride in the independent nature of his daughters' minds, his perspective had narrowed when progressive ideas hit too close to home.  :-)  I remember Dad's sigh when he said:  Where's my Jeannie?  I just don't know her anymore.  I remember replying:  She's standing right in front of you, Dad.  And the fact that Mom's taking personal leaps toward self respect doesn't mean she loves you less.  She's just learning to value her needs and her thoughts more than before.

The unnerving discomfort, felt by both of my parents, was due to change.

It's scary for tower dwellers to remove their blinders and clear fear of conflict from their ears, because no one wants to see or hear the narrow limitations of one's own scope.  Had our patriarch become aware of the bigger picture in terms of personal growth, I believe he'd have taken that leap of faith, which would have saved him from feeling offended by changes, which Mom had felt an inner need to make.  In short, I believe that with time, clarity would have melted defensiveness away, and Dad's sense of pride in his wife's spunk would have shone bright.  Thank goodness the strength of their love saw fit to forgive each other for words that stung at times when steamy emotion ran so high that common sense melted down.


If I take the liberty to paraphrase Mom's attitude of thriving over surviving, here's what I believe she'd say:  Life challenges people of all ages and both genders with countless opportunities to embrace self-empowering leaps of faith toward personal growth.


More about Mom and Dad playing leap frog with societal change in stories down the road.

In addition to showering our family with love, Dad showed his children how to adventure past specific fears.  In addition to showering our family with love, Mom modeled how to fly free of constraint on humility's wings.

Lucky Lauren.  Lucky me.

And that's the truth.

So if Mom and Dad had been a love match, and if Dad's spirit had matched Mom's, and if both had been known to be 'younger than springtime', then why did the rooster take offense when his favorite chick felt the need to test new wings?  Well first of all—Tradition!  The Papa!  Secondly, glass ceilings are invisible, everywhere.  Thirdly, during times of conflict, every Good man and every Good woman takes turns being: tunnel crawlers—tower dwellers—safety nets—and rebels.

With time, you'll see many sides of my parents.  And I believe you'll enjoy what you see.  All in all, tower dwellers, tunnel crawlers, safety nets and rebels make up a fine lot.  If asked to describe tower dwellers, tunnel crawlers, safety nets and rebels in one word, my choice would be: 

FAMILY
And you can bet your sweet bippy on that!  ;-)