As it’s been my good fortune to believe in the magic of the mind, my magic carpet ride through life has offered the intuitive portion of my processor sound reason to dive through one layer of denial after another so as to expose an inter-related series of deeper truths that fully justify my decision to absolve the sweet little girl, who haunts my subconscious, of feeling guiltily complicit in two major crimes—the first leading to her sister’s death, the second being her brain’s hypnotic complacency while a sexual predator attacked her body, leaving her psyche feeling like damaged goods (remember, this was during the 1950’s, a time when society’s stone cold double standard of morality deemed female virginity essential to good girl status) —and as no one had ever declared me guilty of committing those two crimes except for me, it’s no wonder that ‘we’ hear ourselves say: ‘I’m my own worst enemy’ as well as ‘no one’s as hard on me as I am on myself’, repeatedly—
Hhmm ... today’s insight-driven stream of consciousness is certainly worthy of further consideration based upon this fact: My decision to pardon myself of the double life-sentence, which the traumatized portion of my brain had condemned me to serve, proves long overdue—so just imagine how good I’ll feel to awaken, tomorrow, having freed my psyche to start the New Year with a clean slate!
And now, let’s imagine my newly liberated psyche (sporting a sparkling smile) wishing you and yours a very happy and healthy New Year while my magic wand sprinkles your intuitive intelligence with an abundance of patience and courage, both of which will prove necessary if you hope to free your psyche of every last drop of left-over guilt that may have been absorbed by your subconscious in an unprocessed, repressed (unidentified) state of being, which remains unresolved and thus, restless, to this very day.
You see, as long as your peace of mind remains restless, unexamined emotional reactions from long ago may feel stimulated to erupt, from time to time, haunting your conscious sense of well being to feel spikes of latent anxiety, which will, one day, prove to be based in undeserved guilt carried forward since childhood as had been true of my eruptive sense of unidentified anxiety until I’d felt compelled to dive so deeply into my psyche as to surface with strings of inter-related insights spotlighting deeper truths, all of which declared the good little girl (whose defense system’s terror of experiencing any more trauma had erected a wall of denial, blocking the conscious portion of my memory from remembering every traumatic experience that Mother Nature had seen fit to stuff into my subconscious along with my fear of experiencing further episodes of emotional pain like those which had already proved so severe as to have loosened my hold onto sanity, which is why Mother Nature decided to wipe my conscious awareness clean of every detail of those horrific experiences, which had scared me out of my wits, and that mental block persisted until such time as my sixth sense felt that my intelligence was ready to permeate my defense system's wall of denial so as to spotlight painful truths that proved far too complex for the inexperienced processor of a small child to fathom, and thus have those inter-related experiences begun to filter back into the conscious portion of my mind, one dark detail at a time, until today when, without so much as a shadow of a doubt, I felt ready to declare a good little girl 100% innocent of being so bad as to have felt guilty of both of those crimes—Woo Hoo!
And now, feeling freed of subconscious torment, I’m off to purchase party hats in hopes of enticing my friends' sophistication to slip right out of their minds at least for tonight as we sweep out what’s past in favor of toasting to today's host of inner strengths—most especially patience and courage— which, upon bonding together, inspire our intelligence to carve a path upon which our intuitive powers guide the conscious portion of our minds to seek out strings of insight that inspire us to grow toward meeting any challenge that the future may cast across our path while each of us wholly enjoys a peaceful sense of our good fortune, today, and with that positively focused attitude in mind, let’s lift our glasses in peaceful repose as thoughts of milestones achieved sweep our minds clear of yesteryear’s emotional mind fields, which no longer pack the punch to blow up our connection to existential security as long as the heartfelt focus of your think tank and mine remain ever more mindfully engaged with the here and now—L’Chaim—TO LIFE!
Ohhmm ...
You see, as long as your peace of mind remains restless, unexamined emotional reactions from long ago may feel stimulated to erupt, from time to time, haunting your conscious sense of well being to feel spikes of latent anxiety, which will, one day, prove to be based in undeserved guilt carried forward since childhood as had been true of my eruptive sense of unidentified anxiety until I’d felt compelled to dive so deeply into my psyche as to surface with strings of inter-related insights spotlighting deeper truths, all of which declared the good little girl (whose defense system’s terror of experiencing any more trauma had erected a wall of denial, blocking the conscious portion of my memory from remembering every traumatic experience that Mother Nature had seen fit to stuff into my subconscious along with my fear of experiencing further episodes of emotional pain like those which had already proved so severe as to have loosened my hold onto sanity, which is why Mother Nature decided to wipe my conscious awareness clean of every detail of those horrific experiences, which had scared me out of my wits, and that mental block persisted until such time as my sixth sense felt that my intelligence was ready to permeate my defense system's wall of denial so as to spotlight painful truths that proved far too complex for the inexperienced processor of a small child to fathom, and thus have those inter-related experiences begun to filter back into the conscious portion of my mind, one dark detail at a time, until today when, without so much as a shadow of a doubt, I felt ready to declare a good little girl 100% innocent of being so bad as to have felt guilty of both of those crimes—Woo Hoo!
And now, feeling freed of subconscious torment, I’m off to purchase party hats in hopes of enticing my friends' sophistication to slip right out of their minds at least for tonight as we sweep out what’s past in favor of toasting to today's host of inner strengths—most especially patience and courage— which, upon bonding together, inspire our intelligence to carve a path upon which our intuitive powers guide the conscious portion of our minds to seek out strings of insight that inspire us to grow toward meeting any challenge that the future may cast across our path while each of us wholly enjoys a peaceful sense of our good fortune, today, and with that positively focused attitude in mind, let’s lift our glasses in peaceful repose as thoughts of milestones achieved sweep our minds clear of yesteryear’s emotional mind fields, which no longer pack the punch to blow up our connection to existential security as long as the heartfelt focus of your think tank and mine remain ever more mindfully engaged with the here and now—L’Chaim—TO LIFE!
Ohhmm ...
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