Do you think Fred and Ginger practiced only once or twice before earning the title of most enchanting dance partners ever? Not by a long shot. They practiced, together, repeatedly, until their muscle memory danced in time with the music so naturally as to glide from one step to the next as if both minds and bodies had magically conjoined into one finely tuned instrument. And with practice, the same holds true of your think tank's potential to conjoin with your intuitive powers whenever creative solution seeking proves necessary to resolving an inner conflict of exceptional complexity.
Please be forewarned: Though I've edited this next stream of consciousness multiple times in hopes of simplifying complexity of thought, my brain is in need of an editor, whose professional talents far surpass my own, suggestive of the fact that I've not been able to modify my intuitive need to repeatedly strings insights together, in similar fashion to a child's need to start over at A and go straight through to Z, rather than starting from mid alphabet and going forward from there.
So, with that said, let's say that upon awakening, today, you think to ask: What was Mother Nature thinking when she chose to preprogram our defense systems to persistently block our conscious awareness from tuning into our thought processor's intuitive potential to penetrate ever more deeply into subconscious memory if tunneling toward repressed (un-processed and thus un-identified), negatively focused mindsets proves necessary before we can heal the wounded portions of our self image to change for the better, I'd reply: The primary responsibility of your brain's defense system is to save you from feeling pain, which seeps out of your subconscious storehouse of memories in the form of latent anxiety each time your intuition begins to penetrate a layer of your wall of denial, and that fact suggests this one: Upon gifting us with self protective defense systems and intuitive powers, Mother Nature actually created our sense of inner conflict. Looks like Mother Nature may be more of a prankster than we might realize at first glance. I mean, when we stop to think about life as we know it, who set the food chain into action, Mother Nature or God?
I mean, seriously, would Mother Nature's nurturing ways create one creature that stalks another for survival unless she decided that in the absence of inner conflict, life would grow too common place to bear ... And why would she confer with God to gift humans with creative smarts if there were no conundrums to resolve? Hey! Suddenly, this compelling personal need to identify and work toward resolving my primary inner conflict makes very good sense! Gotta love it when an intuitive train of thought takes us where we didn't consciously know that we'd felt inner need to go! And since today's train of thought is still on a roll ... suddenly, gerbils come to mind ... so let's see where a thought as seemingly random as that takes us next ...
Mother Nature humbly came to realize her mistake: She'd meant gerbils, being nocturnal creatures, to run on wheels in cages, but not people, so she decided to ease our way through life's puzzlements by gifting us with the potential to develop our power of intuition in hopes that as our adult thought processors continue to mature, we'll sense the readiness to tackle conundrums that tend to grow ever more complex as we age. However, here's the hitch: As long as the innate strength of our defense systems out ranks our think tank's potential to grow ever more sensitive to intuition's voice (whispering of our need to identify deeply repressed wounds to our self image, which will, otherwise, continue to fester painfully behind layers of denial), we'll remain blind to those times when our attitudes lean away from positivity toward cynicism, and to make matters worse, walls of denial tend toward thickening, over time, which is why subconscious secrets, buried during childhood, are so difficult to exhume, and as long as secrets, concerning the wounded portions of our self image, fester rawly, deep inside our minds, the on-going state of our repressed vulnerabilities will regurgitate yesteryear's unresolved feelings of guilt, which devil our adult conscious minds by releasing spikes of latent anxiety, repeatedly, as though to provoke our need to muster the courage to revisit repressed pain until our existential quest to consciously know both sides of ourselves in depth meets with success. Whew! And Oy vay! What was Mother Nature smoking when she conferred with God? Perhaps she and he were high on diamonds in the sky! At this point in today's intuitive train of thought, I can see the need for scientists to help us recreate the bigger picture of life as the theory of evolution evolved from the simplistic story depicting an idyllic existence of two souls in love in the garden toward the sprawl of urban living, as we know it, today.
Scientifically speaking, upon peeling successfully away at each next layer of denial, another suprising secret, which we've kept from ourselves, is exposed. Each time we consciously close in on exposure, yesteryear's latent anxiety (repressed in its raw, unprocessed, festering state) will spike anew, signaling our survival instinct to feel so alarmed as to call forth our defense system to erect yet another layer of denial, which represses yesteryear's pain, carried forth as baggage, even more deeply within a subconscious lockbox until yet another experience stirs yesteryear's pain to filter through tiny, mesh-like holes in your defense system's wall of denial, haunting your conscious awareness with ghosts of childhood's unresolved transgressions, again and again, suggesting that latent anxiety is actually meant to stimulate your smarts to grow aware of how often your original (unidentified) inner conflict arises in hopes of arousing your growing sense of attentiveness to your intuitive powers (working to awaken your need to tunnel into your past), in hopes of uncovering that moment in time when your cynical attitude, concerning your self image, was born. Whew!
However, as long as your conscious mind remains blind to the fact that your defense system has been innately preprogrammed to block any trigger that might cause subconscious pain to stir anew, your intuitive voice will not gain the self-empowered momentum necessary to over power your defense system from strong arming your smarts, which is why your thought processor will continue to react like a gerbil, racing round a wheel, getting no where close to meeting your intuitive need to free your mind, heart and spirit from feeling caged. And as long as you cannot identify or liberate your adult mind from harboring the primary source of your life-long sense of inner conflict, anxiety will continue to stalk your sense of well being until your processor hears your power of intuition guiding your smarts to set out on your very own existential quest to exhume repressed secrets, which prohibit your conscious mind from identifying what you fear, about your self image, most of all.
So, now that you know why each attempt of your intuition to whisper of insight into your ear will be deflected by your defense system, which proves quick to employ defense mechanisms that detour our smarts away from considering the fact that we all harbor childhood fears that we've locked out of sight behind our host of personal strengths ( which serves as the shield that blinds us from truly knowing ourselves in depth), I sure do hope to have expressed today's train of intuitive thought so clearly as to have offered you sound reason to want to exhume the main root of an exceptionally complex inner conflict (concerning your self image), which, having been buried, subconsciously ever since childhood, can be just as hard to identify as it's tough to resolve a problem that requires the absorption of several years higher mathematics before our brains feel prepared to solve for unknown factors, x,y and z.
If, at this point, you ask why healing from a series of inter-related childhood traumas demands a whale of patience and a ton of courage, empowered by an accumulated absorption of knowledge concerning interactive brain functions, I'd reply: Denial is as stubborn a little critter as you'll ever feel challenged to wrestle to the mat, one round at a time, and here's why that's true: Denial's sole responsibility is to throw a series of mental roadblocks into your life's path, thus detouring your adult think tank from progressing straight toward the main root of your subconscious pain, which remains masked behind the false front of your persona, which, in turn, fools your smarts into misperceiving yourself as being stronger than you actually prove to until such time as insight into the dark side of your mind has been fully exposed. And here is why full exposure of subconscious fear remains beyond conscious absorption, over long: As long as layers of denial blind your conscious awareness from insight into deeper truth, buried deep inside the dark side of your mind, latent anxiety will continue to seep out of subconscious storage, disrupting your conscious think tank's sense of inner peace ... unnecessarily.
Since denial works 24/7 to resurrect your defensive wall, your think tank must work ever more determinedly to peel away layer upon layer of your defensive wall before the true source of your subterranean pain can be fully exposed. Over time, this inner conflict (power struggle) between denial and intuition can grow to feel as excruciating as drilling into the exposed nerve of a toothache that's been in dire need of a root canal without a shot of anesthesia in sight.
So why choose to put yourself through all of this? Because working toward reclaiming your lost sense of inner peace by rebalancing your self image is healthier, by far, than experiencing the uprising of latent anxiety, repeatedly, and therefore, the time, energy and effort expended is worth each step that you'll take toward creating change for the better, as in: no pain no gain.
This wrestling match between subconscious denial and conscious reality (concerning childhood pain secreted at your core) is the crux of the uinner conflict, which fills your head with so much noise and tension as to detour your conscious trains of thought away from tapping into your power of intuition (which whispers of your need to drill, courageously, ever more deeply into yesteryear's festering pain) until your sense of courage to tolerate a significant amount of latent anxiety, throbbing inside your head, succeeds in extracting the main root of the self demeaning attitude, which, upon full exposure to your conscious adult mind, serves to calm latent anxiety by offering your self image sound reason to rebalance and change for the better, through and through, at last.
Once your adult awareness has gained the courage and patience necessary to process the most frightening aspect of an experience, which proved too complex for a child's thought processor to comprehend, understanding relieves the haunting nature of this newly unrepressed, totally exposed fear. As each next subconscious fear is exposed and understood, we come to see how each of these fears related back to the original fear, and over time, as interrelated anxieties subside, one by one, ever deepening layers of inner peace intertwine until intuitive trains of thought gain more self empowered brain space than is true of layers of denial, which continue to thin out.
Eventually, as your sense of conscious awareness gains control over your denial peeler, and as your peepers peer ever more patiently, clearly and courageously into your secreted inner self, repeatedly (because we keep secrets from ourselves at every stage of life), your creative sense of intuitive thought will outwit your defense system's ability to hide your deeply repressed, subconscious storehouse of fears, ever more quickly, and each time another self demeaning attitude pops out of subconscious storage into conscious awareness, change for the better will welcome your arrival, so that time and again, your newly remodeled self-image will feel ever more at ease within your head where a consistently rebalanced sense of your positively-focused attitude continues to strengthen the adult foundation of your recently reconstructed, high self esteem, which, like a rock on a hillside, has finally found an angle of peaceful repose. And hopefully, your desire to rest peaceably will take place while your mind, body and spirit are still on this side of the grass. And if you ask how I know today's train of thought to be true, through and through, I'd reply, please stay tuned ...
(BTY: Today's post is one of several, which, being composed of highly complex trains of intuitive thought, I chose to store in drafts until readiness inspired my think tank to accept the challenge of editing this particular stream of consciousness, repeatedly!)
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