Thursday, December 5, 2013

857 NGUOUY Part 21 CRASHING INTO THE UNEXPECTED WITH INNER STRENGTH

Once the results of Will's biopsy report settles into my mind, I know my heartfelt goal and primary responsibility is to bolster my husband's spirit by offering him reason to smile, every day.  As positive focus proves vital to effective leadership, I figure no problem there.

I also know not to expend most of my energy trying to satisfy the needs of those I love until my mind, body, and spirit wear out.  Been there, done that, twice …

Lastly, I know myself well practiced at calling forth a host of inner strengths while working to achieve heartfelt goals, most especially when life proves more than challenging.

And having stated that which I know, here comes the main point of today's post:  It's what don't know about myself that will lead me into dark places where unidentified fear makes me want to pull the covers over my head until insight names this particular fear that scared me witless when I was so young and trusting that my sense of obedience had been easily manipulated by adults, who'd exploited my innocence to serve their needs …

Oy!  Here I go again, leaping too far ahead of this chapter of my story, so let's track back to the day when drawing forth inner strength while supporting my husband in his time of need had been my primary goal …

I'm sitting at my kitchen table, enjoying a cup of coffee while chatting about this and that with my dear friend, Ellie, as has been our habit, twice weekly, for many years.  As mentioned in an earlier post, Ellie has been our family's indispensable, right hand 'man' since David, who turned thirty seven, this year, traipsed off to kindergarten.

The ringing of our landline doesn't startle me, because while rising to answer the phone, I don't expect to listen to lab findings concerning Will's biopsy, which had taken place on Tuesday, July 16, 2013.  Today is Thursday, July 18th.  We don't expect to hear until Friday—maybe Monday …

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