Over the past ten years, I've become aware of everone's need to identify self defeating traits in hopes of expanding inner strengths for as long as we live. Why? Because the only constant in life is change. (RR&R) If every aspect of life is vulnerable to change and if love is vital to embracing a healthy life, then common sense suggests that love is bound to change, too. *Therefore, it's possible for any relationship to unravel, just as it's possible for an unraveling relationship to bond more deeply than ever before. And that train of thought inspires my sense of hope to re-ignite, repeatedly.
Tell me a fish is dead in the water—watch me tickle it back to life and let it off the hook.
Guided by introspective thought, I chose to adopt speaking and listening skills when my first child grew to be an independent two year old, who'd look up at me and state—as clearly as you please—NO! And here is why his response made sense: Self confident, little monkey faces mimic everything they hear Big Mama say, and at two, independent little minds absorb NO! more often than any other word.
In case you'd like to ask:
Annie, if you'd learned so much about communications
Then why did your marriage come undone?
I'd say: We think a wall goes up
When a relationship breaks down
In truth, two walls go up
And what goes up must come down
However, the only defensive wall
I could work to dismantle was my own
You see, I'd learned speaking and listening skills
To improve my relationship with my kids
Then I came to see, that
If we hope to improve relationships with others
We must first work to improve
Our relationships with ourselves
Early on
My children learned to emulate (mimic) me
As to my husband ...
Well, being a good, hard working man
He was preoccupied with practicing his trade
And as opposites attract—for good reason
His train of thought ran on a different track from mine
In addition to all of the other hats I'd chosen for myself
I found it feat enough
To suit up and figure out how to act as engineer
When my train of thought kept circling
Round and round one track, while ...
My husband's tunnel vision
Circled round another
In short, neither of us had a clue of this fact:
Both of us had been chugging around
Two separate tunnels since we'd said, "I do."
Upon reflection, all of this makes sense
Because—once again—opposites attract
On the other hand
It had not been Mother Nature's intent for opposites
To fight, come undone, and angrily part ways
Mother Nature had hoped that opposites
Would think to make good use of her gifts
Mother Nature had hoped that opposites
Would make good use of their Neo cortex
Mother Nature gave us the 'good' sense
To bring different strengths to the table
Mother Nature figured that
As a pair of partners continued to mature
Each would be empowered
By one learning from the other
And thus, with respect for division of labor
We'd lean on one another
Until we'd double our strengths
And in this way, over time
Both would develop
Into strong pillars of strength
With the ability to stand strong
Together, or on one's own
Unfortunately... Mother Nature forgot
To inform us of two crutial facts:
Mother Nature forgot to say:
Defensive walls, which go up
To protect us during childhood
Must be taken down
If love is to thrive
And defensive walls won't budge without help
Since no one is perfect
And since many have no clue of those facts
Few learn how to play the game of WIN-WIN
As for me, I got tired of playing LOSE-LOSE
And that's why I felt the need to start out on a quest
In hopes of discovering a lot about love and life
That I did not know as of yet
And being a woman, I didn't hesitate to ask for direction
Upon seeking guidance, I discovered this:
Each time I try to figure out
How to take down a loved one's wall
I lose track of my path
Each time I lose track of my path
I tend to wander back into a tunnel
Where I get no where, fast ...
Thank goodness, one bright day
I had the good fortune to learn about:
THE MYTH OF MOVEMENT
THE MYTH OF MOVEMENT
Taught me this fact:
While some tunnels develop the flexibility
To expand so that dark trains of thought
Can switch tracks
And move toward the light
Other tunnels remain firmly narrow
And thus does one train of thought
Continue to circle, round and round ...
On the same dark track, pretty much forever
As I wanted my spirit to experience
Love at it's deepest and life at its fullest
I decided to peel through
The layers of my tunnel ...
Examine my traits
Neutralize subconscious fears
And develop the inner strength
To take countless leaps of faith
And though I'd worked to entice others to do the same
That part of my mission 'seemed' to fail
And as failing pulled my spirit down
I made a scary decision
And chose to fly solo for a while
As best as I could
And as my wing span strengthened expansively
I was surprised to find others
Looking for direction ...
Examining self defeating traits
And developing the self trust
To busting out of tunnels
And choose to fly solo
In hopes of embracing the world, as a whole
And flying together, we formed a flock
That succeeds in encouraging each other
To fly high and free ... not of stress
(That would make this a fairy tale)
But free of inner conflict
Which turns intelligence into static
So if I'd learned all of that
Then what was my problem?
The problem, as I see it, today, had been this:
Many spirits, which long to soar
Have no clue
Of tunneling, round and round
On a single track in the dark
And with all that I'd absorbed
About communicating openly, honestly
Tolerantly and thus compassionately
I could not believe myself incapable
Of inspiring others to lift their blinders
So that their darkened trains of thought
Could stop crashing into self-defeating walls
And having invested too much hope in being heard
My heart reached out to their minds
And tunneled round with their hearts
Until inner conflict exhausted my mind
And my spirit fell flat on its face
Because I felt the need to fly solo, again!
And that leads me to ask
Have you ever watched a bird
Fly straight into the open door of your house?
Have you ever watched that poor little bird
Fly straight into a window pane, head first
Where, having dizzied itself silly
It flies round and round in such a panic
That it has no clue how to locate the open door
Where the freedom to fly high and free awaits?
Imagine how sad it is to see a sweet little bird brain
Feeling so confused
That it can't stop flying into wall after wall
We had to catch that dizzy, little creature
And save it from it's panicked state
And you can believe me when I say
That saving a sweet little bird
That's flying around in a panic
And crashing into wall after wall
Is no easy feat!
I wonder if you've ever read:
Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach?
“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding. Find out what you already know and you will see the way to fly (free).”
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”
― Richard Bach, Illusions
"When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be." Richard BachAnd having said that, let's turn back the hands of time and watch a three year old child, who'll have no clue of flying, dizzily around, in dire need of finding a key to regain her mind's lost sense of inner peace —until a day dawns, many years down the road, and she recognizes her need to develop self trust, conquer fear, open a door, face the truth, take a leap of faith, fly separate from her flock and experience the world, solo, for the first time in her life ...
No comments:
Post a Comment