364 TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR Part 17

 As many weeks have passed since I posted part 16 of this story, you might want to reread that post (and if you are new to my blog, you might consider reviewing the whole story, thus far).  In this way, your memory may be refreshed before we move forward—at long last—today!

Though the shocking nature of Janet's loss is huge, I’ve come to believe certain character traits, which I’d adopted in the wake of my baby sister’s death, may not have developed had the attitude of one family member not readjusted several weeks after fate hit our family with this irreversible tragedy.  And that's why I believe this vital concept must be considered:  Attitude is everything … therefore a change in attitude has the power to make any situation better … or worse.

Every now and then, during the course of my life, I’ve listened to my mother describe ‘the shock, panic, and horror’ which tore through my parents’ hearts so powerfully as to alter their perception of God’s protective arms embracing human life.  As you can imagine, the horror of a darling child’s shocking death catalyzed dramatic changes in all four surviving lives.  Excuse me. As this story continues to unfold, the nature of Janet’s death will have played a vital role in shaping or reshaping five lives rather than four.  Why five?  Because in addition to Grandma,  we must remember to include a child who will never have met Janet.  This child, to whom I refer, will be born into a family that has learned to fear sudden, inexplicable (and thus, emotionally chaotic) loss.

Common sense suggests that this baby's early childhood experiences will differ greatly from those of the surviving older sister.  And thus will my parents’ third child adopt a set of character traits utterly different from my own, because of this fact:  *Experience shapes attitudes in unconscious ways.  I often hear people wondering aloud about this next fact:  "My two children were raised in the same home by the same parents … why are their traits so different?"  Reflection suggests that fate offered my parents reason to reconsider certain attitudes, beliefs and decisions. As beliefs, attitudes and decisions change, so does the emotional environment, which influences the development of each child. Thus it's likely that siblings may not be raised as similarly as we surmise.
As my experiences differed dramatically from Lauren's during the formative, first five years of our lives, let’s take a deeper look at my first five years and see why I'd developed certain traits before we look at traits, which had developed, differently, in a child, born in the aftermath of a fearsome, family tragedy.  *As you shall see, good reason exists for children to remember a shared childhood so differently that their perceptions of themselves, each other, and family life, shape up differently, as well ...