I just reread LUCY ON WALDEN POND
Sigh! Found much in need of editing
Insight into the writing and editing process:
Each time I write a post
Mistakes in need of correction are missed
Each time I reread a post
Mistakes in need of correction are found
Perhaps, while focusing upon creating content
My mind is blind to mistakes, which result
When I choose to delete a word or add a word
While trains of thought are in the process
Of coupling up
In short, spying mistakes in written posts
Is like reflecting over
Mistakes we've made when facts prove
That yesterday's 'perceptions' are in serious need of review
Back to that post I go. Lucy has some 'splaining' to do!
J
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
379 TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR part 28
As the mind of a child absorbs mixed messages, the subconscious and conscious sides of an inexperienced brain may cross-wire. As fear creates sparks of static electricity, which weave in and out of our thought processing patterns, common sense suggests that in the aftermath of a family tragedy, each child may develop channels of thought, which are cross wired, differently. (Picture a channel of thought as a tobbagon chute. Imagine hot spots of fear causing the shute to break up, tossing a train of thought (the tobbagon) into the air, where it flies out of control, and as the people inside uncouple, each lands, wounded, where none had thought to go. In this way does a family, which had harmonized well, unexpectedly explode, unless someone detects cracks in need of repair in time to warn unsuspecting passengers to choose a diferent channel of thought in hopes, that by avoiding injury, flexible bonds of family life may be enjoyed at times when a mixed bag of change tosses a curve, and cracks appear, where none seemed to exist, before. )
Perhaps we'll imagine a family in pain as a team of seasoned players, who collectively find themselves in a slump. Perhaps this team of injured players needs to retrain their minds to keep their eyes on the ball if, at the end of the season, each hopes to sport a champion's ring in the game of WIN-WIN.
In truth, trains of thought, which produce a solid streak of wins, are so rare that no child escapes any stage of normal development unscathed. When a championship caliber team falls into a slump, someone must develop the foresight to formulate a game plan, knowing that strategic plays may save valuable players from incurring grevious injuries, which would further weaken the team as a whole. Then, when the game heats up and stakes are high, each player must think more strategically than ever before. In short, if an experienced coach hopes to inspire everyone to harmonize and have a good time, he or she might take everyone tobogganing. However, someone needs to check the chute for cracks before gathering the entire team into a toboggan, right before the big game. In order to be prepared on game day, a team of champions needs a tried and true, but flexible plan when on the field and off. As to players who have incurred injuries, serious enough to have been benched, well—
*Common sense suggests that emotional static, which weaves through the thought patterns of a child, innocent of tragedy, may cause different insecurities than those which plague a sibling, who’d experienced devastating consequences, following trauma, which remains unresolved. As some injuries go deeper than others, it's important to build flexibility into your game plan when two teams come together on game day. Bottom line: *No matter how our experiences differ, nothing restrains both sides from achieving heartfelt goals as much as personal injury, which causes insecurities to erupt. *When subconscious fears go unrecognized, unconscious insecurities limit each person's potential for straightforward growth.
*Though it's likely that I'd felt jealous when Janet had dethroned me, I may feel quite differently about sharing the spotlight when Lauren is lifted out of her crib after awakening from nap after nap, day after day. *Situations, which are taken for granted in one home, may be reason for relief in another. One day, those last two *insights will prove crucial to my spirit's survival. Upon reflection—
Perhaps we'll imagine a family in pain as a team of seasoned players, who collectively find themselves in a slump. Perhaps this team of injured players needs to retrain their minds to keep their eyes on the ball if, at the end of the season, each hopes to sport a champion's ring in the game of WIN-WIN.
In truth, trains of thought, which produce a solid streak of wins, are so rare that no child escapes any stage of normal development unscathed. When a championship caliber team falls into a slump, someone must develop the foresight to formulate a game plan, knowing that strategic plays may save valuable players from incurring grevious injuries, which would further weaken the team as a whole. Then, when the game heats up and stakes are high, each player must think more strategically than ever before. In short, if an experienced coach hopes to inspire everyone to harmonize and have a good time, he or she might take everyone tobogganing. However, someone needs to check the chute for cracks before gathering the entire team into a toboggan, right before the big game. In order to be prepared on game day, a team of champions needs a tried and true, but flexible plan when on the field and off. As to players who have incurred injuries, serious enough to have been benched, well—
*Common sense suggests that emotional static, which weaves through the thought patterns of a child, innocent of tragedy, may cause different insecurities than those which plague a sibling, who’d experienced devastating consequences, following trauma, which remains unresolved. As some injuries go deeper than others, it's important to build flexibility into your game plan when two teams come together on game day. Bottom line: *No matter how our experiences differ, nothing restrains both sides from achieving heartfelt goals as much as personal injury, which causes insecurities to erupt. *When subconscious fears go unrecognized, unconscious insecurities limit each person's potential for straightforward growth.
*Though it's likely that I'd felt jealous when Janet had dethroned me, I may feel quite differently about sharing the spotlight when Lauren is lifted out of her crib after awakening from nap after nap, day after day. *Situations, which are taken for granted in one home, may be reason for relief in another. One day, those last two *insights will prove crucial to my spirit's survival. Upon reflection—
I'll go to any length not to revisit my parents’ mental torment and anguished despair. In fact from now on, I'll do anything to sidestep a frown.
Raise an eyebrow in my direction, watch my strong spirited mind spontaneously capitulate, heel and do your bidding. Jump? How high? Now—watch me jump higher than suggested. Whenever frustration burns a hole inside my mind, my adopted attitude of compliance simply opens the door to Denialand, where any hint of resentment is swallowed with a smile. *For decades, no one will be more in the dark about what I actually feel, deep inside, than me.
*Inner conflict is a stealthy little critter that pays little mind to satisfying a pleaser's basic needs. All I can feel is my adopted need to please. As to my little voice, which pokes at me, I ignore it, constantly. However, there is one visible clue, which showcases the repressed state of my distress: the infernal itch, which compels me to rake my skin raw. Whenever I make a mistake, fear lashes me to the stake, and humiliation burns up all sense of logic.
Death was not explained to young children, back then. And had my parents tried, what could they have said to help a three-year old mind comprehend that which medical science could not yet fathom? If even the rabbi's reasoning had seemed lame, then perhaps, it makes sense to embrace denial as a crutch to assuage the painful crush of undeserved guilt—but for how long? Once again—what might I feel guilty of? *Personally, I'll reside in Denialand until wounds, festering deep within the pockets of my subconscious, have reason to emerge—every bit as raw as before.
Today, as I explore inner conflicts and bare my vulnerabilities to myself, as well as to the world, I watch myself working, patiently, to dismantle my defensive walls without experiencing an emotional melt down. (Been there, done that—twice!) *Each time my conscious mind becomes aware of another subconscious fear, self awareness catalyzes that fear to fade in direct proportion to my reconnection to strengths at my core. Strengths which had failed to develop when I was a child. As you can imagine, experiencing inner strengths maturing and flying free of unresolved fear feels great! Seriously—what feels as peacefully liberating as strength winning over an internal war?
When the death of a beloved child remains an unsolved mystery, a terrified parent may adopt a set of precautionary routines to 'insure' that such a fearsome tragedy will not repeat. And that makes me ask: As fearsome trains of thought imprint into a parent's patterns, which of those patterns might a keenly observant, monkey-see-monkey-do, four-year old caboose, unconsciously mimic while skipping along in her mommy's footsteps, from dawn to dusk, day after day? How many of our parents' fears do little monkey faces unknowingly adopt? What if one child adopts the fears of one parent, while another child adopts the vulnerabilities of the other parent? What might cause that to happen? How dissimilar might the traits of these siblings appear, on the surface, if no one thinks to discover fears, which fog up the mind's eye of each child? Why do we so often hear: Live and let live. Appearances are often deceiving. *What misperceptions may occur when few comprehend that growth in self awareness is catalyzing changes, which must take place if vulnerabilities are to undergo the process of developing into strengths, at long last?
Each time a major change takes center stage in the life of a family, one story winds down and the next chapter in an on-going saga begins ... So, let's see what happens when a falling star gets lost in the dark, lands in the soup and hooks up with a team of synchronized swimmers, who've had reason to adopt the attitude of safety first—above all else ...
Raise an eyebrow in my direction, watch my strong spirited mind spontaneously capitulate, heel and do your bidding. Jump? How high? Now—watch me jump higher than suggested. Whenever frustration burns a hole inside my mind, my adopted attitude of compliance simply opens the door to Denialand, where any hint of resentment is swallowed with a smile. *For decades, no one will be more in the dark about what I actually feel, deep inside, than me.
*Inner conflict is a stealthy little critter that pays little mind to satisfying a pleaser's basic needs. All I can feel is my adopted need to please. As to my little voice, which pokes at me, I ignore it, constantly. However, there is one visible clue, which showcases the repressed state of my distress: the infernal itch, which compels me to rake my skin raw. Whenever I make a mistake, fear lashes me to the stake, and humiliation burns up all sense of logic.
Death was not explained to young children, back then. And had my parents tried, what could they have said to help a three-year old mind comprehend that which medical science could not yet fathom? If even the rabbi's reasoning had seemed lame, then perhaps, it makes sense to embrace denial as a crutch to assuage the painful crush of undeserved guilt—but for how long? Once again—what might I feel guilty of? *Personally, I'll reside in Denialand until wounds, festering deep within the pockets of my subconscious, have reason to emerge—every bit as raw as before.
Today, as I explore inner conflicts and bare my vulnerabilities to myself, as well as to the world, I watch myself working, patiently, to dismantle my defensive walls without experiencing an emotional melt down. (Been there, done that—twice!) *Each time my conscious mind becomes aware of another subconscious fear, self awareness catalyzes that fear to fade in direct proportion to my reconnection to strengths at my core. Strengths which had failed to develop when I was a child. As you can imagine, experiencing inner strengths maturing and flying free of unresolved fear feels great! Seriously—what feels as peacefully liberating as strength winning over an internal war?
When the death of a beloved child remains an unsolved mystery, a terrified parent may adopt a set of precautionary routines to 'insure' that such a fearsome tragedy will not repeat. And that makes me ask: As fearsome trains of thought imprint into a parent's patterns, which of those patterns might a keenly observant, monkey-see-monkey-do, four-year old caboose, unconsciously mimic while skipping along in her mommy's footsteps, from dawn to dusk, day after day? How many of our parents' fears do little monkey faces unknowingly adopt? What if one child adopts the fears of one parent, while another child adopts the vulnerabilities of the other parent? What might cause that to happen? How dissimilar might the traits of these siblings appear, on the surface, if no one thinks to discover fears, which fog up the mind's eye of each child? Why do we so often hear: Live and let live. Appearances are often deceiving. *What misperceptions may occur when few comprehend that growth in self awareness is catalyzing changes, which must take place if vulnerabilities are to undergo the process of developing into strengths, at long last?
Each time a major change takes center stage in the life of a family, one story winds down and the next chapter in an on-going saga begins ... So, let's see what happens when a falling star gets lost in the dark, lands in the soup and hooks up with a team of synchronized swimmers, who've had reason to adopt the attitude of safety first—above all else ...
Sunday, January 29, 2012
378 IMAGINE LUCY RICARDO ON WALDEN POND
In recent years
I've experienced reason to re-evaluate my traits:
Whereas traits which serve me well empower my mind to
Achieve certain goals, traits based in subconscious fear
Narrow my scope, limiting my choices, as well
I've also come to see that mindset-expansion depends upon
Personal growth, concerning self awareness, for this reason:
Each time my train of thought musters the courage that proves
Necessary to tunnel through another layer of denial, I can see how
Quickly an eruptive hot spot of yesteryear's unhealed pain (buried during
Childhood) re-ignites such blinding sensations of fear of
What tomorrow may bring as to have caused my defense system to erect
Yet another layer of denial, thickening my defensive wall, which
Blocks my conscious mind from rebalancing my view of today's reality
Then, in order to minimize my fearful reactions, my defense system would
Convince my conscious mind to believe untruths, which offered
Me a false (temporary) sense of inner peace—except for one thing—
Deep inside, behind my wall of denial, my soulful quest for
Clarity, concerning today's reality, persists ...
As long as untruths, absorbed subconsciously behind my wall of
Denial, during childhood (relating back to my lack of self worth) kept
My mind engaged in a Lucy-like maze, I'd nursed this belief:
By empowering myself with talking and listening skills
I was capable of inspiring others to dismantle their defensive walls
And in this way would I be instrumental in enticing my loved ones
To embrace their need of clarity, concerning reality, just like me! Ha!
As if we can dismantle defensive walls that we don't know exist!
Denial, during childhood (relating back to my lack of self worth) kept
My mind engaged in a Lucy-like maze, I'd nursed this belief:
By empowering myself with talking and listening skills
I was capable of inspiring others to dismantle their defensive walls
And in this way would I be instrumental in enticing my loved ones
To embrace their need of clarity, concerning reality, just like me! Ha!
As if we can dismantle defensive walls that we don't know exist!
In recent years, I've had reason to gain insight into
'The myth of movement', which suggests that
I'd fooled myself into believing that my extended family had been
Striding in a positively focused direction toward resolving
Long standing conflicts when nothing was further from 'the truth', and
Over time, I came to recognize the folly of my belief that
I could inspire all of my loved ones to work, together, toward
Creating change for the better with the same
Self motivation as proved true of me, and you can believe me when
I say that, initially, my hopeful heart felt crushed when clarity
Suggested that my defense system had been fooling me just as
The defense system of every human brain fools one and all
In short, I'd believed to have known where all of us were heading until
Clarity, concerning reality, proved that none of our brains
Had found its way out of its own paper bag, including mine!
'The myth of movement', which suggests that
I'd fooled myself into believing that my extended family had been
Striding in a positively focused direction toward resolving
Long standing conflicts when nothing was further from 'the truth', and
Over time, I came to recognize the folly of my belief that
I could inspire all of my loved ones to work, together, toward
Creating change for the better with the same
Self motivation as proved true of me, and you can believe me when
I say that, initially, my hopeful heart felt crushed when clarity
Suggested that my defense system had been fooling me just as
The defense system of every human brain fools one and all
In short, I'd believed to have known where all of us were heading until
Clarity, concerning reality, proved that none of our brains
Had found its way out of its own paper bag, including mine!
Frequently, insight guides me to lift the bag of denial off of
My head in hopes of opening my eyes to my need to
Look inside until emotional baggage, buried alive during
Childhood, stares back at me more clearly than ever before
My head in hopes of opening my eyes to my need to
Look inside until emotional baggage, buried alive during
Childhood, stares back at me more clearly than ever before
For example here is one blind spot that's finally cleared, today:
I am empowered to impart insights but only to those
I am empowered to impart insights but only to those
Whose minds consciously choose to muster the courage to
Hear me out after both of us place frustration and fear
In a time out chair, so we can create such a safe emotional arena as
To encourage our ears to open to new ideas that inspire
Narrow mindsets (based in yesteryear's personal experiences) to
Expand to consider unmet needs, all around
Hear me out after both of us place frustration and fear
In a time out chair, so we can create such a safe emotional arena as
To encourage our ears to open to new ideas that inspire
Narrow mindsets (based in yesteryear's personal experiences) to
Expand to consider unmet needs, all around
Apparently, certain truths prove so potent as to feel
Too hot to handle, causing many of us to close our eyes, ears and
Minds to reconsidering the narrowness of each one's personal perspective
Too hot to handle, causing many of us to close our eyes, ears and
Minds to reconsidering the narrowness of each one's personal perspective
Which may, upon deeper consideration, be based in misperceptions
Concerning self worth ... In other words, each time I watch people, who
Have no conscious clue that they've just dived behind
Their walls of denial, protecting their egos from suffering
The humiliation of defeat, I say to myself: Here is a person who
Has not yet gained insight into identifying those times when
His/her ego sneaks out, and if you remain blind to those times when
Your ego has usurped control over your mind then your smarts get so
Tied up in knots as to feel unable to regain control by placing your ego
In a time out chair, freeing your conscious mind to embrace humility, which
Saves us from eating crow as the future unfolds
Concerning self worth ... In other words, each time I watch people, who
Have no conscious clue that they've just dived behind
Their walls of denial, protecting their egos from suffering
The humiliation of defeat, I say to myself: Here is a person who
Has not yet gained insight into identifying those times when
His/her ego sneaks out, and if you remain blind to those times when
Your ego has usurped control over your mind then your smarts get so
Tied up in knots as to feel unable to regain control by placing your ego
In a time out chair, freeing your conscious mind to embrace humility, which
Saves us from eating crow as the future unfolds
I've come to see that our egos do not fear strengths in others, which
We've developed within ourselves—our egos fear
Strengths in others that cause us to sense subconscious
Vulnerabilities that we do not want to acknowledge as our own
And here is why denial of personal vulnerabilities exacerbates
Conflicts in need of resolving: As long as our many-layered
Wall of denial blocks our conscious minds from clearly identifying
Our unmet needs, our spirits will not feel free to embrace
An expansive sense of inner peace, born of our capacity to offer and
Receive love so naturally as to create an emotional environment
In which others, sensing reason to feel safe, feel peaceful, as well …
As fearing the inner strengths of others proves true of people, who
Have not yet gained insight into their need to muster the courage to
Work at dismantling their walls of denial, I keep this hope in
The forefront of my mind: Each time I adopt a patient
'Wait and see' attitude while working peaceably to expand
My sense of clarity, my sixth sense is more likely to envision
A time when fate (coupled with an expansive sense of choice)
Offers each of us a sense of inner peace that calms anxiety, all around
And perhaps, as boiling points relax we'll find ourselves in a melting pot, at last
As my sense of clarity continues to deepen, I can see how
My expansive perspective of life and love may heighten the fears of
Those whose sense of safety has yet to grow as self confident as is
True of my own, and with that insight in mind, I've stopped knocking
My head against the defensive walls of those I love for this reason:
My expansive perspective of life and love may heighten the fears of
Those whose sense of safety has yet to grow as self confident as is
True of my own, and with that insight in mind, I've stopped knocking
My head against the defensive walls of those I love for this reason:
In truth, it's work enough to identify and take down layers of my own :)
In short, if airing my view of reality threatens
The tenuous nature of another person's inner peace
Then that person's anxiety will call upon defensiveness to double up and
If deaf ears tune out whatever I feel the need to say, thus heightening
Frustration on both sides, then insights, such as these, posted today
Inspire me to change my expectations and behaviors in favor of
Employing positive focus and patience in hopes of minimizing
My sense of disappointed frustration, today, knowing that if
My sense of inner peace is naturally conveyed, I can heighten the sense of
Emotional safety by cutting the tension in the room in half
I enjoy the contest of debating with open minds, however
Since my spirit has worn out, several times, while debating with
Closed mindsets, I'll not expend energy, wastefully, by
Speaking my mind to deaf ears, repeatedly
Instead of inviting frustration to heighten, on all sides
I'm looking forward to 'telling' stories, each of which will
Highlight effective channels of thought, wherein patience and
Positive focus led my failures toward eventually
Reaping the rewards of success—beyond my wildest hopes
In short, if airing my view of reality threatens
The tenuous nature of another person's inner peace
Then that person's anxiety will call upon defensiveness to double up and
If deaf ears tune out whatever I feel the need to say, thus heightening
Frustration on both sides, then insights, such as these, posted today
Inspire me to change my expectations and behaviors in favor of
Employing positive focus and patience in hopes of minimizing
My sense of disappointed frustration, today, knowing that if
My sense of inner peace is naturally conveyed, I can heighten the sense of
Emotional safety by cutting the tension in the room in half
I enjoy the contest of debating with open minds, however
Since my spirit has worn out, several times, while debating with
Closed mindsets, I'll not expend energy, wastefully, by
Speaking my mind to deaf ears, repeatedly
Instead of inviting frustration to heighten, on all sides
I'm looking forward to 'telling' stories, each of which will
Highlight effective channels of thought, wherein patience and
Positive focus led my failures toward eventually
Reaping the rewards of success—beyond my wildest hopes
Each time I ponder upon deeper truths while circling Walden Pond
Whenever denial blocks me from recognizing my deepest needs
My spirit wears out, dimming my chances to create change for
The better until a flash of insight suggests that what really needs
Changing is my attitude, because—attitude is everything ...
My spirit wears out, dimming my chances to create change for
The better until a flash of insight suggests that what really needs
Changing is my attitude, because—attitude is everything ...
Each time I've thought to question which attitude was
In need of mind expansion, I've identified a subconscious fear that
Had caused today's problem or conflict to feel (seem) worse than
Clarity, concerning reality, had suggested as being true …
In need of mind expansion, I've identified a subconscious fear that
Had caused today's problem or conflict to feel (seem) worse than
Clarity, concerning reality, had suggested as being true …
Each time I offer my mind a restful break from inner conflict
Confusion, frustration and stress, my spirit revitalizes, and
I come to question youthful lessons, which deeper truth suggests
Make less sense than I'd been taught to believe, and once
This questioning side of my mind had opened to function with
Clarity intact, I reconnect with instinctive need, numbed at my core
I come to question youthful lessons, which deeper truth suggests
Make less sense than I'd been taught to believe, and once
This questioning side of my mind had opened to function with
Clarity intact, I reconnect with instinctive need, numbed at my core
Seen in this light, mental and spiritual exhaustion has a silver lining:
Exhaustion offered me the insight to develop the good sense
Exhaustion offered me the insight to develop the good sense
To retire from friendships which had proved so close-minded and
Painfully judgmental at times when my state of confusion had
Been in need of open minded, compassionate guidance
Painfully judgmental at times when my state of confusion had
Been in need of open minded, compassionate guidance
In short, I've quietly but not passively shoo'd away narrow-minded
Attitudes, hovering in wait for my strengths to exhaust ...
Attitudes, hovering in wait for my strengths to exhaust ...
Quoth the raven—Nevermore!
If you ask:
Annie, what do you do when others introduce painful truths to you?
Here is my reply:
I fortify myself to listen with an open ear for this reason:
If I hope to deepen my connection to my need to live life to the fullest then
It's time to review my blind acceptance of beliefs in need of expansion
And here is why this path leads toward healing:
As life grows complex, old paradigms are often in serious need of review …
Once upon a time, a fearless leader could not shake a sore throat
Two of the most renown physicians of the day were consulted
Both were advocates of blood letting ...
Which had been thought to rid the body of evil humors
Which travel through the blood stream
However, when the cure kills the patient
Tis past time to seek out a new train of thought
Unfortunately, new trains of thought came too late
To cure our fearless leader's sore throat
And thus did two fine physicians
Draw blood until their patient
Succumbed to a paradigm in dire need of change
And as a result, George Washington bled to death
Suggesting that the stories I plan to relate are true :)
Day by day
If you ask:
Annie, what do you do when others introduce painful truths to you?
Here is my reply:
I fortify myself to listen with an open ear for this reason:
If I hope to deepen my connection to my need to live life to the fullest then
It's time to review my blind acceptance of beliefs in need of expansion
And here is why this path leads toward healing:
As life grows complex, old paradigms are often in serious need of review …
Once upon a time, a fearless leader could not shake a sore throat
Two of the most renown physicians of the day were consulted
Both were advocates of blood letting ...
Which had been thought to rid the body of evil humors
Which travel through the blood stream
However, when the cure kills the patient
Tis past time to seek out a new train of thought
Unfortunately, new trains of thought came too late
To cure our fearless leader's sore throat
And thus did two fine physicians
Draw blood until their patient
Succumbed to a paradigm in dire need of change
And as a result, George Washington bled to death
Suggesting that the stories I plan to relate are true :)
Day by day
Post by post
One train of thought leads to another
In the same way that one insight leads to the next
And as one change leads to many more
One train of thought leads to another
In the same way that one insight leads to the next
And as one change leads to many more
My think tank carves out a path whereby
I re-evaluate the validity of yesterday's thoughts …
And if asked what keeps me focused upon
Consciously choosing to advance forward on this path, I'd reply:
Each time one of my subconscious vulnerabilities is identified
Another half baked strength slides back into the oven, offering
My awareness a new opportunity to create a thought-processing soufflé
Consciously choosing to advance forward on this path, I'd reply:
Each time one of my subconscious vulnerabilities is identified
Another half baked strength slides back into the oven, offering
My awareness a new opportunity to create a thought-processing soufflé
Which will not collapse if fate tosses another dark surprise my way
Today
My inner strengths
My inner strengths
Prove to be no flash in the pan
Today
Insight deepens and transforms
My definition (paradigm) of friendship
My definition (paradigm) of friendship
Today
I appreciate the length and breadth of my wing span
I appreciate the length and breadth of my wing span
For this reason:
Though twas not so long ago that I saw myself as
A small wounded bird flying courageously above fear, today
My spirit reconnects, naturally, with healthy instincts at my core, and
As my self perception continues to improve I develop
New attitudes concerning how best to take good care of my needs while
Loving and respecting family, friends, colleagues and strangers, as well
And here's why I believe this path will continue to map out a plan for
My future that proves sound of mind, body and spirit:
Today, I remind myself to take time to smell every rose I've worked so
Though twas not so long ago that I saw myself as
A small wounded bird flying courageously above fear, today
My spirit reconnects, naturally, with healthy instincts at my core, and
As my self perception continues to improve I develop
New attitudes concerning how best to take good care of my needs while
Loving and respecting family, friends, colleagues and strangers, as well
And here's why I believe this path will continue to map out a plan for
My future that proves sound of mind, body and spirit:
Today, I remind myself to take time to smell every rose I've worked so
Diligently to plant instead of knocking myself out, day after day, in hopes of
Meeting the needs of others, as had been my habit before my mind and spirit
Wore themselves down to the bone so literally as to suggest that my appetite for
Food and life diminished so severely as to force me to question decisions, which
Were proving disadvantageous, considering the declining state of my health
Today
I believe old dogs can learn new tricks, because I am far from young; however
Once courage to look deep inside was mine, defensive walls came tumbling down
Today
Meeting the needs of others, as had been my habit before my mind and spirit
Wore themselves down to the bone so literally as to suggest that my appetite for
Food and life diminished so severely as to force me to question decisions, which
Were proving disadvantageous, considering the declining state of my health
Today
I believe old dogs can learn new tricks, because I am far from young; however
Once courage to look deep inside was mine, defensive walls came tumbling down
Today
Chatty Cathy continues to work optimistically, though not tirelessly ... by embracing
Quiet, patient and tranquil attitudes when problem-solving proves necessary
Quiet, patient and tranquil attitudes when problem-solving proves necessary
Today
I hope my posts quietly inspire folks around the world identify layers of denial
In hopes of choosing to face up to reality's deeper truths, buried inside
Today
I hope to encourage others to recognize when fear of our own vulnerabilities
Makes us look down in the mouth at those whose opinions differ from our own
I hope my posts quietly inspire folks around the world identify layers of denial
In hopes of choosing to face up to reality's deeper truths, buried inside
Today
I hope to encourage others to recognize when fear of our own vulnerabilities
Makes us look down in the mouth at those whose opinions differ from our own
Today
I'd like you to consider what happens to one who remains blind to this attitude:
You're either with me or against me!
Today
I can clearly see that this unfortunate person has no clue that divisive
Attitudes invite birds of prey to chase the blue bird of happiness away
As you shall see, in story after story
I'll choose to work, side by side, with minds open to carving out
Two way streets, so that as defensive walls come down on both sides
New foundations of friendship are fortified by mutually respecting views
As you watch me choose to redirect my path
I'll choose to work, side by side, with minds open to carving out
Two way streets, so that as defensive walls come down on both sides
New foundations of friendship are fortified by mutually respecting views
As you watch me choose to redirect my path
In hopes of leaving Denialand in the past
You'll see my mind review a wealth of knowledge
In order to approach the future with clarity and hope, intact
You'll see my mind review a wealth of knowledge
In order to approach the future with clarity and hope, intact
If you agree with any part of today's train of thought
I hope you'll muster the patience
To ride side kick through each philosophical post
That pops out of my mind ...
Though many will seem to repeat the same refrain, because—
Deeper truth suggests that lasting change takes tons of hard work!
Deeper truth suggests that lasting change takes tons of hard work!
When an insight reappears in post after post
My subconscious is sending a signal to warn me
That inner conflict is once again, compromising my strengths
And if you choose to muster the patience to watch
My brain work to absorb Deeper Truths more wholly than
Ever before then you, too, may come to identify with this
Personal choice: We can absorb deeper truths
Or we can stay stuck in the tunnel that runs around
The same tired track, which takes us no closer to
Arriving at destinations where we've been longing to go
My subconscious is sending a signal to warn me
That inner conflict is once again, compromising my strengths
And if you choose to muster the patience to watch
My brain work to absorb Deeper Truths more wholly than
Ever before then you, too, may come to identify with this
Personal choice: We can absorb deeper truths
Or we can stay stuck in the tunnel that runs around
The same tired track, which takes us no closer to
Arriving at destinations where we've been longing to go
Though leopards do not change their spots
I am not a leopard ... I am a 'people-person' with
A thought processor that has been trained to
Dive deep enough inside my mind to track
Solution-seeking insights, concerning
Deeper truths, such as this one:
A thought processor that has been trained to
Dive deep enough inside my mind to track
Solution-seeking insights, concerning
Deeper truths, such as this one:
It's never too late to take your mind by the hand and
Coax it to approach a fork in the road where
A bright new, positively focused paradigm awaits to
Help your strength of spirit to dismantle defensive walls, thus
Freeing your sense of self to enjoy inner peace straight into your core
As every day is the first day of the rest of our lives
Help your strength of spirit to dismantle defensive walls, thus
Freeing your sense of self to enjoy inner peace straight into your core
As every day is the first day of the rest of our lives
I hope that, person by person, we may each feel enticed to
Remove our own paper bags from covering our smarts by
Conscious choice, so that, together, we may walk upon
A mindfully expansive path, which
Remove our own paper bags from covering our smarts by
Conscious choice, so that, together, we may walk upon
A mindfully expansive path, which
Leaves the dark, dizzying maze of Denialand behind ...
And having said all of that
I'll leave you with two questions to
Ponder more deeply, today, than ever before:
Ponder more deeply, today, than ever before:
Can you see my spirit smiling, peaceably, from within my core?
Do you feel the warmth of my hand reaching out, sincerely, for yours?
PS
As my stories unfold ...
Slow as that progress may prove to be
You'll see why my family sees me as Lucy
Slow as that progress may prove to be
You'll see why my family sees me as Lucy
In fact, one of my holiday gifts from my adult offspring was
An I Love Lucy Doll—a fitting addition to my doll collection, for sure!
Perhaps, one day, I'll open a gift box and delight to find—Snow White
And Eve!
If you wonder why I'd love to add those dolls to my collection ...
Well—we'll just have to wait patiently for stories, concerning
Snow White and Eve, to pop out on our screens
As for now, I'll feed your hunger for answers by offering one hint—
Perhaps you'd like to share an apple with your friend,
And Eve!
If you wonder why I'd love to add those dolls to my collection ...
Well—we'll just have to wait patiently for stories, concerning
Snow White and Eve, to pop out on our screens
As for now, I'll feed your hunger for answers by offering one hint—
Perhaps you'd like to share an apple with your friend,
Annie/Lucy/SnowWhite/Eve …
Saturday, January 28, 2012
377 TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR Part 27
Janet’s death certificate does not state the cause of death as SIDS. As it is written, my sister died from a pneumonia-like virus. That was sixty-four years ago. Today, my parents would likely have been told that their child succumbed to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
When three broken hearts stare into the empty crib right before removing it from my parents’ bedroom, common sense suggests that three confounded minds can't fathom how, in the span of a few hours, a 'healthy' baby girl had disappeared. And while adult trains of thought cycle round and round on this tortuous, one way track, the little caboose has no clue, at all, about anything that will cause everything to change in terms of the way life has stalled, so drastically, day after day, night after night. *As nothing feels safe and she doesn't feel good when she looks up at the giants and sees only frowns, Annie's round, blue eyes stick like glue to the expressions plastered on the faces of everyone she loves while her mind works overtime, trying to track whatever is about to take place, next—clickety clack.
Though the loss of beloved, elderly grandparents and parents proves deeply painfully, such an orderly cycle of events is anticipated. When irretrievable loss is wholly unexpected—out of order—and the life cut short had depended upon YOUR tender, loving attentiveness, a sense of undeserved guilt, which mounts in the aftermath of that tragedy, magnifies in untold ways.
The harsh reality of Janet’s death slices my parents’ lives into two separate parts. In a flash, all sense of order has darkened as though the electrical circuit, powering our spirits, has been switched off. Our reactions are, now, as indivisible as a string of holiday lights.
On the day of a loved one's funeral, it is our custom for the immediate family to tear and wear a piece of clothing, symbolic of the tear between life and death. Over the next seven days, it is our custom for loved ones to gather, bearing hearty meals to nourish our bodies, which do not hunger for food, along with heartfelt condolences to nurture sagging spirits, too wounded to fly on their own—as of yet. In short, the flock flies as one. In honor of The Sabbath we do not 'sit shiva' on Friday, after sundown. The Sabbath rises above everything else. Our 'shiva', which resumes at sundown on Saturday, welcomes all who come to support us during this first dark week of bereavement.
As for three-year old me, I do not understand why everyone comes to party in our apartment, day after day, when 'something' terrible is making my family so sad. *Lacking in understanding, inexperience sees insensitivity, all around. And thus does inexperienced insensitivity cast harsh judgements at those innocent of wrong doing.
On the other hand, I do not feel so scared while all of these people are milling around, hugging us close, keeping our minds busy as I do right after everyone has kissed us goodbye, and their spirits fade away. Within seconds of closing and locking the apartment's front door, life darkens, reality hits, and our eyes dull over as each one faces another endless night—
On the day of a loved one's funeral, it is our custom for the immediate family to tear and wear a piece of clothing, symbolic of the tear between life and death. Over the next seven days, it is our custom for loved ones to gather, bearing hearty meals to nourish our bodies, which do not hunger for food, along with heartfelt condolences to nurture sagging spirits, too wounded to fly on their own—as of yet. In short, the flock flies as one. In honor of The Sabbath we do not 'sit shiva' on Friday, after sundown. The Sabbath rises above everything else. Our 'shiva', which resumes at sundown on Saturday, welcomes all who come to support us during this first dark week of bereavement.
As for three-year old me, I do not understand why everyone comes to party in our apartment, day after day, when 'something' terrible is making my family so sad. *Lacking in understanding, inexperience sees insensitivity, all around. And thus does inexperienced insensitivity cast harsh judgements at those innocent of wrong doing.
On the other hand, I do not feel so scared while all of these people are milling around, hugging us close, keeping our minds busy as I do right after everyone has kissed us goodbye, and their spirits fade away. Within seconds of closing and locking the apartment's front door, life darkens, reality hits, and our eyes dull over as each one faces another endless night—
When the darkness of anguished confusion and relentless mental pressure go unrelieved, the defense system protects the processing center of our brains by melting the conscious mind's connection to clarity. As mental attentiveness experiences a melt down, the overwhelmed state of the thought processor 'relaxes' into the zombie-like sludge that accompanies total devastation. In short, denial disassociates the mind from life's harshest realities—until such time as you can compartmentalize the depth of your pain, because those who depend upon you need you to return to work ... As was true of my father ...
Though Jack's peace of mind is replaced by his own sense of raw vulnerability, my father must return to work while the weight of depression continues to hit Jennie, hard. As for me, my mind can’t fathom the agonizing hours, which hang heavy in our apartment, day after day—however, I can definitely sense this:
LIFE feels as dark as a black cat passing under a ladder at midnight. When our family doctor advises Jack to get another baby started A.S.A.P., my father agrees with the wisdom inherent in the voice of experience and gets busy.
While I muse back to that day when Mom nestled close to me while we swung in tandem on my patio, staring up at 'my mountain (the very one that Dad had loved to climb with his grandsons in tow) rising high into a clear, blue sky—my mother's voice, flooding with memory, holds me spellbound:
"One day, I arose from my bed and while walking through a fog, I noticed you trailing after me, looking up at me so sadly that I realized how listless you'd become. At that moment it dawned on me that before Janet's birth, our entire world had revolved around you. As I gathered you close—and you clung to me—I realized how lonely and lost you must have felt. How much you must have needed me. How much you'll continue to need me. I mean, you were only three ... and gradually, as this awareness
clarified for me, I willed myself to return to life."
In the aftermath of tragic loss
The heartfelt tenderness of a grieving mother
Recognizing a need to embracing the vulnerability of her child
Is not always the case
I know of instances in which
The loving spirit within a home
Dies
Never to be revived...
As that will not prove true for me
I'll bask in the good fortune of being my mother's and father's child
And whenever tunnel vision causes me to lose sight of my strong sense of hope
You'll see *a balanced sense of memory and insight serve as my spirit's reset buttons ...
In the case of our family, it comes to pass that on January 5, 1948—one month after my fourth birthday—thirteen and a half months after Janet’s mysterious 'disappearance'—my mother and father slip into their coats, bend down, offer me two smiles, two warm hugs, and two kisses as they leave our apartment and drive to the hospital, again.
For the next several days my mother is absent—then, when my attentive father brings her home—I run down the hall to greet them at our apartment’s front door, and low and behold—what do I see? Here, in my mother's arms, is a beautiful, baby girl, whose dark hair and small cameo features look a lot like—Janet—to me.
As my mother bends down and I breathe in my first look at the sweet face of my baby sister, does a little voice inside me say:
“Wow! She's back!
Or ... Wow! What a beautiful, new 'doll'! I can't wait to play with her!”
Or might memory rouse a fearful ghost deep inside, which whispers, chillingly, into my ear:
“Oh oh, Annie! Here we go, again! We’d better make sure that this one doesn’t disappear!” And, you can bet your bottom dollar that I am not the only person in our apartment, whose mind has absorbed this newly acquired, not-so-secret—over-protective fear.
*Once Lauren is placed in Janet's crib, I'll have no clue of acquiring another trait, which, in some ways, will serve me well, while in other ways, this sense of protectiveness combined with empathy will create inner conflict that intensifies my itch to get out of my skin—until I consciously embark upon my quest to differentiate between my vulnerabilities and strengths. *At times it's difficult to know when a trait, which is protective of others is, in truth, self-protective, as well!
*For many reasons, I'll have lost a vital portion of my voice. However none would believe that possible, because if ever a child had personified Chatty Cathy, that child was me!
If you asked: Which portion of your voice will have succumbed to subconscious fear? Here is what I'd say: *The portion of my voice, which had succumbed to subconscious fear, had been the little voice of instinct, which no longer felt free to clarify my needs—not just to others, but to me.
*In short, fear had signaled denial to short circuit the connection between my conscious self and survival instincts at my core. Beginning at the age of three, my need to feed the needs of others and feel loved superseded my need to feed any other need of my own.
Though selfless traits are commonly admired, upon deeper consideration, unidentified anxiety is often in the driver's seat. And swerving from one's own lane into another's proves less healthy than most may think.
*For many reasons, I'll have lost a vital portion of my voice. However none would believe that possible, because if ever a child had personified Chatty Cathy, that child was me!
If you asked: Which portion of your voice will have succumbed to subconscious fear? Here is what I'd say: *The portion of my voice, which had succumbed to subconscious fear, had been the little voice of instinct, which no longer felt free to clarify my needs—not just to others, but to me.
*In short, fear had signaled denial to short circuit the connection between my conscious self and survival instincts at my core. Beginning at the age of three, my need to feed the needs of others and feel loved superseded my need to feed any other need of my own.
Though selfless traits are commonly admired, upon deeper consideration, unidentified anxiety is often in the driver's seat. And swerving from one's own lane into another's proves less healthy than most may think.
In recent years, while questing for depth in self awareness, I've had reason to ask myself many questions. For example:
*Does it make sense to remain angry at those who think to know my traits—but do not—when, in truth, I'd failed to know myself as deeply as I'd believed? No one had betrayed me more than I'd betrayed myself ...
*If latent insecurity breeds misperceptions, all around, then doesn't it make sense for each of us to work at identifying subconscious fears, arising from deep within, in hopes that as deeper truths emerge, we can unload undeserved guilt and meet Today's needs once clarity suggests a simple plan that may mend a relationship in need of repair?
*Is it not true that The Truth will set us free? Free of what? Free of subconscious insecurities, all around!
*Subconscious insecurity causes us to fear—misunderstandings, misjudgments, undeserved guilt, abandonment, again and again! Once vital relationships take a wrong turn, both sides erect walls; defensive traits buttress opposing points of view and personal strengths go AWOL.
*What, exactly, did Socrates have in mind when he implored his peers to:
KNOW THYSELF!
*Do you have a clue as to which fears tainted the clarity of Socrates' peers?
*Can you name traits, which caused the peers of this sage to 'kill the messenger'?
My family saga concerns personal beliefs. As beliefs are not facts, no wrong answers exist.
Have you any clue as to how much I'd like to know what you believe, too?
A little ways back, a few brave souls answered my plea and fed my comment box ...
Imagine the smile you'll draw forth from within my soul
Imagine the smile you'll draw forth from within my soul
If you'd freely choose to fly with that flock, sometime soon ...
Friday, January 27, 2012
376 WOW! HOW GREAT IT IS TO FEEL HEARD!
As I follow the stats of my blog, every day
I appreciate how many of you
Are choosing to scroll down and read
The first stories in this saga of my life
Personally, it feels great to be heard
Professionally, I feel gratified
To perceive that hard won insights
May impact positively
Upon the lives of 'strangers'
In many nations
Who hopefully, over time, may become lasting 'friends'
And as I've chosen to absent myself
From my first meeting, today
Because I'd felt compelled to edit Post 374—
Which led me to write Post 375 and 376—
I'd better close up shop
Or I'll miss the next meeting, as well
Oh—one more thing:
Since it's common to have no clue
As to what may be troubling our kids
May I suggest that you consider
Printing certain stories
Like, BULLY FOR ME
In hopes of encouraging a child
To seek out your guidance
Rather than 'going it alone'
Perhaps you might choose to say:
I hope you'll read this story, because
Your happiness means so much to me
That my heart, mind and ear will alway be open
To ease your way through each stage of life
And if you suggest that you, too, had once felt
Confounding experiences of their own
After reading FIRST KISS
Repeatedly, this has been my experience:
As I continue to mature in terms of self awareness
I grow more sensitively instrumental
In guiding others to embrace
A sense of open trustfulness
Which, over time, serves to deepen
Each person's sense of self trust
When role models learn to replace frustration
With a patient, observant sense of consistent support
Guess what develops?
Strong, caring, independent, open minded adults ...
Who choose fly home
Freely and thus eagerly and frequently
And when this proves to be the case
It's likely that
A multigenerational family of unique individuals
Has been given good reason to embrace
The values of roots and wings
Okay ... blogging adjourns for today
Meeting's about to convene
J
I appreciate how many of you
Are choosing to scroll down and read
The first stories in this saga of my life
Personally, it feels great to be heard
Professionally, I feel gratified
To perceive that hard won insights
May impact positively
Upon the lives of 'strangers'
In many nations
Who hopefully, over time, may become lasting 'friends'
And as I've chosen to absent myself
From my first meeting, today
Because I'd felt compelled to edit Post 374—
Which led me to write Post 375 and 376—
I'd better close up shop
Or I'll miss the next meeting, as well
Oh—one more thing:
Since it's common to have no clue
As to what may be troubling our kids
May I suggest that you consider
Printing certain stories
Like, BULLY FOR ME
In hopes of encouraging a child
To seek out your guidance
Rather than 'going it alone'
Perhaps you might choose to say:
I hope you'll read this story, because
Your happiness means so much to me
That my heart, mind and ear will alway be open
To ease your way through each stage of life
And if you suggest that you, too, had once felt
As baffled as your child may feel, today ...
T'weens may be enticed to reconsiderConfounding experiences of their own
After reading FIRST KISS
Repeatedly, this has been my experience:
As I continue to mature in terms of self awareness
I grow more sensitively instrumental
In guiding others to embrace
A sense of open trustfulness
Which, over time, serves to deepen
Each person's sense of self trust
When role models learn to replace frustration
With a patient, observant sense of consistent support
Guess what develops?
Strong, caring, independent, open minded adults ...
Who choose fly home
Freely and thus eagerly and frequently
And when this proves to be the case
It's likely that
A multigenerational family of unique individuals
Has been given good reason to embrace
The values of roots and wings
Okay ... blogging adjourns for today
Meeting's about to convene
J
375 TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR Part 26
26
You'll never guess who stopped by while I was editing post 374, today! I had a visit from Socrates. And as his insight is always remarkable, and worth passing forward, I wonder if you'd consider reviewing that post in order to see what the sage came to say ...
Whereas some say God speaks directly through them, I choose to quote sages, whose words have been recorded for posterity. In this way, I feel confident that the written word of wisdom will not have been altered by which ever historian is manipulating the pen.
Having come to Know Myself as imperfectly human, rather than omnipotent, I consciously work to enhance the acquired trait of humility whereby my judgement calls are replaced with wait-and-see attitudes, which offer me time to ask tons of questions. In this way, I come to see the elephant as a whole instead of misperceiving the end of the 'tale' as all there is to know. And as my mind remains open to absorbing the whole story, detail by detail, my tunnel vision expands, and in the end, here are my 'just' desserts—I get to eat less crow.
You'll never guess who stopped by while I was editing post 374, today! I had a visit from Socrates. And as his insight is always remarkable, and worth passing forward, I wonder if you'd consider reviewing that post in order to see what the sage came to say ...
Whereas some say God speaks directly through them, I choose to quote sages, whose words have been recorded for posterity. In this way, I feel confident that the written word of wisdom will not have been altered by which ever historian is manipulating the pen.
Having come to Know Myself as imperfectly human, rather than omnipotent, I consciously work to enhance the acquired trait of humility whereby my judgement calls are replaced with wait-and-see attitudes, which offer me time to ask tons of questions. In this way, I come to see the elephant as a whole instead of misperceiving the end of the 'tale' as all there is to know. And as my mind remains open to absorbing the whole story, detail by detail, my tunnel vision expands, and in the end, here are my 'just' desserts—I get to eat less crow.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
373 TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR Part 25
Upon returning from Janet’s funeral, Jennie and Jack sit, side by side, on the burgundy, damask, living room couch, one piece of Grandma’s French provincial furniture, which she’d moved into my parents’ apartment, along with herself, immediately after her only daughter's wedding. While gripping each other’s hands for support, my bereaved parents concentrate on their spiritual advisor’s every word. The rabbi has stopped by to console my grieving family, and while the living room and dining room fill with the downcast faces of family and friends, my parents work at maintaining emotional control while asking this revered, spiritual advisor, “Why was Janet given to us to love so deeply for such a short a time? Why did God take her back, so soon?”
While listening to the Rabbi’s comfortless reply, my distraught parents find nothing of spiritual reassurance in his words: “Your daughter was born to live through the short expanse of time, owed to another person, whose death had come earlier than that which had been ‘preordained'.”
Rather than easing their pain, the rabbi’s response ignites anger, which roils beneath the depressed state of Jennie and Jack’s composure. In addition to recoiling from the rabbi's limp reasoning, as to why their beloved child has been wrenched from their arms, the horrors of World War II and The Holocaust are excrutiatingly fresh. How many extended family members have disappeared, over the past several years, into ovens, where dark clouds of smoke had recently and grievously arisen above the rooftops of concentration camps throughout Europe—most especially camps in Poland—where my father had lived with extended family during the first seven years of his life?
Having heard no words, which reaffirm their faith in a just and merciful God, my parents’ religious attachment diminishes spontaneously and significantly. As to Grandma, her fear of a wrathful God is reconfirmed.
—Now, let's imagine a movie camera swinging toward the reactions of the surviving child, who has no clue where she fits into this picture as stressful conversations heat up, over the next several days, amongst so many hearts, mourning as one? Imagine her wondering: What the heck is going on, here?
—Imagine how diligently this child might work, to no avail, to recapture her parents’ and grandma’s delighted attentions.
—Imagine a little girl seeking sunny reactions, which had previously been forthcoming, and thus, taken for granted, all around.
—Imagine tremendous shock waves stretching over days, weeks, and months while scenes of anguished turmoil bury merriment and joy.
—Imagine laying Janet to rest at the foot of Jack's father's grave.
—Imagine the fact that this grandfather's grave is almost as fresh as the spot where a tiny coffin has just been lowered.
—Imagine laying Janet to rest at the foot of Jack's father's grave.
—Imagine the fact that this grandfather's grave is almost as fresh as the spot where a tiny coffin has just been lowered.
—*Imagine the fact that most people have no clue how far back we may need to reflect before the 'main root' of a life-changing experience, which causes self-defining character traits to swerve off center, is unearthed. What if consequences, which accompany acquired traits, go unidentified until subconscious pain runs so deep that the spirit hits bottom? How might a mind, lost in a maze of torment fog up?
*When reality proves too hard to bear, the fog places clarity in a time out chair. At this point, when the strain of dealing with endless pain is in dire need of relief, where might the defense system think to go, next? At three, alcohol is not a choice. 'Happy pills' are still in the lab. This brings us to door number three—and as a hush spreads over the audience and the curtain goes up, what gift might we see?
We see the gift that Mother Nature offers to this terror struck tyke: Behind door number three, Annie's defense system has decided to cast a magic spell, which sends her on the trip of a lifetime, and upon packing her baggage, off she goes ...
—Imagine the song: Let a smile be your umbrella
—Imagine these lyrics: When you walk through a storm ... hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark ... You'll never walk alone ...
Needless to say, this is not sound advise for a three year old child in need of nurturing and guidance. I mean, really! Twinkle, twinkle little star, up above the world so high ...if what goes up must come down, what might cause this diamond in the sky to fall, downdowndown? Imagine how focused another portion of this young mind must unknowingly become if defining moments, based in fear, are, one day, to be identified, understood—and neutralized, so that Annie's sense of reality blows through the fog, and clarity returns, at last.
—Imagine Annie's spirit in a slump; imagine her smile in retirement. Imagine another change resuscitating her smile. Imagine this 'change', feeding her hunger. Imagine Annie's confusion hiding behind a smile, which becomes her umbrella, whenever she walks, all alone. Imagine Annie behaving in such a way as to court the smiles of others while she, unknowingly, embarks upon a quest for clues as to how acquired traits merge into survival instincts to make up the sum of a person's whole. Thank goodness, everything has two sides, because in addition to leading toward Annie's undoing, acquired traits will also serve her well.
*When reality proves too hard to bear, the fog places clarity in a time out chair. At this point, when the strain of dealing with endless pain is in dire need of relief, where might the defense system think to go, next? At three, alcohol is not a choice. 'Happy pills' are still in the lab. This brings us to door number three—and as a hush spreads over the audience and the curtain goes up, what gift might we see?
We see the gift that Mother Nature offers to this terror struck tyke: Behind door number three, Annie's defense system has decided to cast a magic spell, which sends her on the trip of a lifetime, and upon packing her baggage, off she goes ...
—Imagine the song: Let a smile be your umbrella
—Imagine these lyrics: When you walk through a storm ... hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark ... You'll never walk alone ...
Needless to say, this is not sound advise for a three year old child in need of nurturing and guidance. I mean, really! Twinkle, twinkle little star, up above the world so high ...if what goes up must come down, what might cause this diamond in the sky to fall, downdowndown? Imagine how focused another portion of this young mind must unknowingly become if defining moments, based in fear, are, one day, to be identified, understood—and neutralized, so that Annie's sense of reality blows through the fog, and clarity returns, at last.
—Imagine Annie's spirit in a slump; imagine her smile in retirement. Imagine another change resuscitating her smile. Imagine this 'change', feeding her hunger. Imagine Annie's confusion hiding behind a smile, which becomes her umbrella, whenever she walks, all alone. Imagine Annie behaving in such a way as to court the smiles of others while she, unknowingly, embarks upon a quest for clues as to how acquired traits merge into survival instincts to make up the sum of a person's whole. Thank goodness, everything has two sides, because in addition to leading toward Annie's undoing, acquired traits will also serve her well.
Now, let's compare fearfully acquired traits to tattoos, which needle the deepest layers of the mind. Imagine working to 'lighten up' dark stains, which may never be ‘erased’. Imagine a need for professional help at a time when very few think to seek it out. Imagine the tragic impact when acquired traits drag a bright young mind toward self-defeat through every stage of life. Imagine this young mind reacting like a fully cranked jack-in-the box when any aspect of a new experience resembles any portion of a dark memory, tucked subconsciously away. Imagine anxiety flooding a mind with sensations of feeling inexplicably inadequate, not 'good' enough, not smart enough or utterly invisible ... when nothing is further from the truth. When Annie feels 'bad', she'll work to be better. When Annie feels dumb, she'll review her work and correct her mistakes. When Annie feels invisible, she may consciously concentrate on observing bigger pictures, all around. On the other hand, when Annie needs to protect herself from overwhelming fear, but feels powerless to do so, her defense system may assume control over her mind by depressing her thought processing center.
In this way, Annie may unknowingly disassociate from consciousness, from time to time. And thus will she 'lose' track of memories, too painful to track. *Imagine anxiety creating static—blurring clarity. *Imagine the classic nature of anxious reactiveness each time inner conflict, causes confusion, which gives birth to misperception. Imagine this invasion of peace of mind.
Imagine Mother Nature providing human beings with a defense mechanism, called disassociation, with which we unknowingly protect ourselves when need to free severely repressed portions of our personalities emerges. Imagine two people relating the same story from each one's perspective. Imagine two sides to every story.
In this way, Annie may unknowingly disassociate from consciousness, from time to time. And thus will she 'lose' track of memories, too painful to track. *Imagine anxiety creating static—blurring clarity. *Imagine the classic nature of anxious reactiveness each time inner conflict, causes confusion, which gives birth to misperception. Imagine this invasion of peace of mind.
Imagine Mother Nature providing human beings with a defense mechanism, called disassociation, with which we unknowingly protect ourselves when need to free severely repressed portions of our personalities emerges. Imagine two people relating the same story from each one's perspective. Imagine two sides to every story.
I've said this, quite often: If I was in one room, telling you the story of my marriage and then you went into the next room, and asked my husband the very same questions ... afterwards, while comparing notes, here is what you'd surmise: Two very nice people. Too bad they'd never met. They'd probably have become very good friends, who'd enjoyed each other's company, quite a lot. Oh yes, you'd also have noticed this: My answers would fill a book. A saga. Maybe a trilogy. My husband's answers would fill a paragraph. Maybe. On the other hand, if you'd asked us questions, concerning sports, those last few sentences would most certainly flip. And though you may be chuckling, in here is why there's nothing flip about all of that: We say we laugh at the truth for this reason: There's at least a kernel of truth in every joke. And often times, while clowning around on the surface, we may have no clue how much a flagging spirit is crying deep inside. In short, we disassociate from ourselves.
*Tis sad when disassociation creates misperceptions, which blur clarity indefinitely, because misperceptions create misery of our own making. *Tis frustratingly sad to witness human pain, which having been self-inflicted, is utterly unnecessary? *In retrospect, my life-long quest for clarity has never been unfounded. *In fact instinct depends upon common sense when questing to rebalance beliefs based in misperception.
In the aftermath of Janet’s death and for decades to follow, a two headed monster will mystify my intelligence. And not until insight names both fears will I ‘grow’ so self aware as to stave off this monster’s stealthy approach. Needless to say, inexplicable death is one of countless experiences, which cause normal childhood fears to magnify into mind-consuming beasts. And though, one day, I’ll recall the clarity to call each snarling head by name and command that beast to heel—for now, let’s muzzle, leash and nickname this scratchy, little devil:
*Tis sad when disassociation creates misperceptions, which blur clarity indefinitely, because misperceptions create misery of our own making. *Tis frustratingly sad to witness human pain, which having been self-inflicted, is utterly unnecessary? *In retrospect, my life-long quest for clarity has never been unfounded. *In fact instinct depends upon common sense when questing to rebalance beliefs based in misperception.
In the aftermath of Janet’s death and for decades to follow, a two headed monster will mystify my intelligence. And not until insight names both fears will I ‘grow’ so self aware as to stave off this monster’s stealthy approach. Needless to say, inexplicable death is one of countless experiences, which cause normal childhood fears to magnify into mind-consuming beasts. And though, one day, I’ll recall the clarity to call each snarling head by name and command that beast to heel—for now, let’s muzzle, leash and nickname this scratchy, little devil:
RAMPANT INSECURITY
Every few weeks I ask new followers for help in this way:
If you think my stories may offer insight to anyone you know
I'd appreciate your help, spreading healing trains of thought, such as these
From heart to heart in home after home
It's my hope that you may choose to take an active role in fueling this grass roots movement
Which, being in its infancy, compels me to write, every day
And if asked, Annie, what do you hope to achieve?
I'd say:
I hope to inspire people to think, to question where their paths have taken them, thus far
I hope to send out healing trains of thought, which may circle the globe
I entertain the hope that you may choose to mention the focus of my blog
Whenever conversations raise questions concerning
Inner conflict, family strife, clarity and peace of mind
And now, with respect and appreciation for the interconnectedness of my spirit and yours
Here comes the end of my last train of thought, for today:
It takes more than a village to empower the spirit of a grass root movement
To chug around the world ...
It takes a circle of love ...
Seeking insight into positive focus, self-trust and clarity
In hopes of healing wounded hearts, minds, and spirits in nation after nation
And as more of us join hands and learn to work as a team of champions
We may grow less self-destructive, one and all
Day by day
Oh yes—one more thing ...
Having consciously acquired the trait of patience
I do not need to realize this goal within my lifetime ...
On the other hand ...
When it's my turn to my way through the Pearly Gates
I sure would like to tell Socrates
That the power of his sage words
'Know Thyself'
Empowers many, today
And thus, may his mind rest in peace
Knowing that the messenger did not die in vain
PS
Being a guy, the sage managed to say it all—in two words!
As of today ... 43 nations and counting ... J
Do you remember this quote:
"It takes a village to raise a child."
The wisdom inherent in that quote, which made its way around the world, originated in Africa.Every few weeks I ask new followers for help in this way:
If you think my stories may offer insight to anyone you know
I'd appreciate your help, spreading healing trains of thought, such as these
From heart to heart in home after home
It's my hope that you may choose to take an active role in fueling this grass roots movement
Which, being in its infancy, compels me to write, every day
And if asked, Annie, what do you hope to achieve?
I'd say:
I hope to inspire people to think, to question where their paths have taken them, thus far
I hope to send out healing trains of thought, which may circle the globe
I entertain the hope that you may choose to mention the focus of my blog
Whenever conversations raise questions concerning
Inner conflict, family strife, clarity and peace of mind
And now, with respect and appreciation for the interconnectedness of my spirit and yours
Here comes the end of my last train of thought, for today:
It takes more than a village to empower the spirit of a grass root movement
To chug around the world ...
It takes a circle of love ...
Seeking insight into positive focus, self-trust and clarity
In hopes of healing wounded hearts, minds, and spirits in nation after nation
And as more of us join hands and learn to work as a team of champions
We may grow less self-destructive, one and all
Day by day
Oh yes—one more thing ...
Having consciously acquired the trait of patience
I do not need to realize this goal within my lifetime ...
On the other hand ...
When it's my turn to my way through the Pearly Gates
I sure would like to tell Socrates
That the power of his sage words
'Know Thyself'
Empowers many, today
And thus, may his mind rest in peace
Knowing that the messenger did not die in vain
PS
Being a guy, the sage managed to say it all—in two words!
As of today ... 43 nations and counting ... J
Monday, January 23, 2012
372 TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR Part 24
Though it's true that children learn by mimicking their parents, we commonly soak in attitudes, reactions, behaviors, as well as the beliefs of others, at every stage of life. It’s also common for people of all ages to adopt a sense of responsibility for that which none but Fate is at fault. On the other hand, defensive walls deny accountability, as well. As dichotomy is known to confound the most centered of minds, it's unwise to believe that life will ease up as we move from one stage to the next. Work at putting one puzzle together, watch another clatter to the floor.
Once Annie fails to differentiate between her parents’ pain and her own, the depth of her empathy may hold her responsible for resuscitating their smiles—as well as the smiles of countless others—from the age of three, on. Ultimately, Annie's defense system may build such a tall, strong wall of denial against the depth of her distress that no one will be more deceived by the brightness of her ever-ready smile than—she. Thus, no one will ask anything of Annie as difficult as the tasks she'll demand of herself.
Though Annie will make problem-solving 'look' easy, lots will take place beneath the surface of conscious awareness. Annie will be doing much more than itching to get out of her skin. In addition to playing hopscotch, this child will have reason to dive into the deep.
Though Annie will not be aware of seeking solace by diving into books, she'll grow up to be a voracious reader. Thus the world of books will provide Annie with a retreat from all that she can't fathom about life.
On the other hand, Annie's choice to retreat with book in hand will encourage the reflective nature of her mind to develop. And though Lauren's birth will open the door for family life to laugh with delight, once more, Annie's affinity toward introspective thought will continue to develop. And thank goodness for that, because one day, when her mind is blown away by the deepest maze, ever, introspection will literally save her life.
Though Annie will make problem-solving 'look' easy, lots will take place beneath the surface of conscious awareness. Annie will be doing much more than itching to get out of her skin. In addition to playing hopscotch, this child will have reason to dive into the deep.
Though Annie will not be aware of seeking solace by diving into books, she'll grow up to be a voracious reader. Thus the world of books will provide Annie with a retreat from all that she can't fathom about life.
On the other hand, Annie's choice to retreat with book in hand will encourage the reflective nature of her mind to develop. And though Lauren's birth will open the door for family life to laugh with delight, once more, Annie's affinity toward introspective thought will continue to develop. And thank goodness for that, because one day, when her mind is blown away by the deepest maze, ever, introspection will literally save her life.
On countless occasions, I’ll sit in front of our home movie screen and watch Little Annie Sunshine smiling—dancing—thumb sucking—playing with Lauren, posing in party dresses, blowing out candles, gliding on roller skates with blue eyes, shining, while two sturdy brunette braids, swing back and forth as I zip merrily along the sidewalk, grinning into the lens of Dad's ever-ready camera. As my high spirited smile is truly as real as my badly scratched and bandaged arms, swinging in rhythm with my strides, my middle name may as well have been Conundrum.
Though it's true that our family cup will runneth over, again, a duet of fears will have merged into a fire breathing, two headed dragon, which will sear my mind with high anxiety much more often than those, who 'know' me well, might think. (Ask me to do something that I really don't want to do and watch me do it, agreeably. Watch me do it conscientiously. Watch me do it well. Watch me succeed. Watch me scratch throughout the day.) *When emotional pain hides its baggage in Denialand, look for mental stress to manifest itself in physical ways. (RR&R)
Ellen DeGeneres said, "Never follow someone else's path unless you're (lost) in the woods ..." The problem, as I see it is this: *So many of us lose our way before we know that any other way exists. In short, we can't be true to ourselves until insight hit, and we realize that the path we've carved has strayed away from the instinct to be honest with oneself. I mean, *how can you be true to yourself if you take yourself at face value without identifying self-defeating traits?
Then if we muster the courage to take an honest look, we're bound to get even more confused? Why? Because we may be so lost in denial as to be blind to traits, which are most in need of change! *For example, when inner conflict has been swallowed at three, emotional complexity gets to feeling as natural as rising with the sun and sleeping with the moon.
Just as people, who swallow tape worms, have no clue that a little viper is messing with digestion, I'd no clue of having absorbed inner conflict, which messes with clarity. If asked, today, how I felt, making my way from one stage of life to the next with a two headed viper, snaking around inside my mind, here is what I'd say: Whenever I made a small mistake, that two-headed, fire-breathing dragon seared me with humiliation—as though Grandma's God might smite me down.
If you’d like me to name this two-headed dragon, I will—in good time. For now, the beast will remain veiled until we reach that chapter in my life when the fangs of both heads pierce my heart, simultaneously. As for now, please be aware of this fact: *Most people are born with the potential and drive to develop a wide variety of personal strengths until Fate steps in, scares us half to death, and defensive walls blind us to where we need to grow, most.
When Mother Nature invested us with a defense system, self protection had been her intention. Growth prevention had not been a part of her original plan. Thank goodness she threw in introspection and creative thought processes, as well! And once more of us learn to clear the static out of our thought processors, we may actually join hands, enlarge our circle and make such good use of all six layers of our neocortex that our trains of thought may heal the ills of the world—day by day, person by person, family by family, neighborhood by neighborhood—one village at a time ...
Then if we muster the courage to take an honest look, we're bound to get even more confused? Why? Because we may be so lost in denial as to be blind to traits, which are most in need of change! *For example, when inner conflict has been swallowed at three, emotional complexity gets to feeling as natural as rising with the sun and sleeping with the moon.
Just as people, who swallow tape worms, have no clue that a little viper is messing with digestion, I'd no clue of having absorbed inner conflict, which messes with clarity. If asked, today, how I felt, making my way from one stage of life to the next with a two headed viper, snaking around inside my mind, here is what I'd say: Whenever I made a small mistake, that two-headed, fire-breathing dragon seared me with humiliation—as though Grandma's God might smite me down.
If you’d like me to name this two-headed dragon, I will—in good time. For now, the beast will remain veiled until we reach that chapter in my life when the fangs of both heads pierce my heart, simultaneously. As for now, please be aware of this fact: *Most people are born with the potential and drive to develop a wide variety of personal strengths until Fate steps in, scares us half to death, and defensive walls blind us to where we need to grow, most.
When Mother Nature invested us with a defense system, self protection had been her intention. Growth prevention had not been a part of her original plan. Thank goodness she threw in introspection and creative thought processes, as well! And once more of us learn to clear the static out of our thought processors, we may actually join hands, enlarge our circle and make such good use of all six layers of our neocortex that our trains of thought may heal the ills of the world—day by day, person by person, family by family, neighborhood by neighborhood—one village at a time ...
As you continue to observe my interactions with others, you’ll witness my inability to differentiate between those times when I’ll feel bitten by someone else (think BULLY FOR ME) and those times when no one had thought to bite me as deeply as I’d unknowingly bitten, myself (think FIRST KISS). As I drove both of those points home while writing the first two stories in my blog, let’s see what develops—inside my mind—during the decade that will pass, between my sister's death and my first kiss ...
... and thus did a glorious fall day in 1946 transpose into the first, dismal night of the dark, dismal, forbidding winter, which lay directly ahead. As to the romantic surprise my father had planned for my mother that evening—well—there’s an old Yiddish saying, which translates into English as—‘Man plans and God laughs’. You see, rather than anticipating a night of romantic high jinks, my parents have a funeral to plan ...
371 TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR Part 23
Today's post is not made up trains of thought released from my mother's memory. Today's train of thought comes straight from a brain, whose tunnel vision is always looking to brighten and expand. And that's been especially true during this last decade of my life. What inspired that change? Everything that unraveled, unexpectedly, in the aftermath of my dad's sudden death.
Over the past ten years, I've become aware of everone's need to identify self defeating traits in hopes of expanding inner strengths for as long as we live. Why? Because the only constant in life is change. (RR&R) If every aspect of life is vulnerable to change and if love is vital to embracing a healthy life, then common sense suggests that love is bound to change, too. *Therefore, it's possible for any relationship to unravel, just as it's possible for an unraveling relationship to bond more deeply than ever before. And that train of thought inspires my sense of hope to re-ignite, repeatedly.
Tell me a fish is dead in the water—watch me tickle it back to life and let it off the hook.
Guided by introspective thought, I chose to adopt speaking and listening skills when my first child grew to be an independent two year old, who'd look up at me and state—as clearly as you please—NO! And here is why his response made sense: Self confident, little monkey faces mimic everything they hear Big Mama say, and at two, independent little minds absorb NO! more often than any other word.
In case you'd like to ask:
Annie, if you'd learned so much about communications
Then why did your marriage come undone?
I'd say: We think a wall goes up
When a relationship breaks down
In truth, two walls go up
And what goes up must come down
However, the only defensive wall
I could work to dismantle was my own
You see, I'd learned speaking and listening skills
To improve my relationship with my kids
Then I came to see, that
If we hope to improve relationships with others
We must first work to improve
Our relationships with ourselves
Early on
My children learned to emulate (mimic) me
As to my husband ...
Well, being a good, hard working man
He was preoccupied with practicing his trade
And as opposites attract—for good reason
His train of thought ran on a different track from mine
In addition to all of the other hats I'd chosen for myself
I found it feat enough
To suit up and figure out how to act as engineer
When my train of thought kept circling
Round and round one track, while ...
My husband's tunnel vision
Circled round another
In short, neither of us had a clue of this fact:
Both of us had been chugging around
Two separate tunnels since we'd said, "I do."
Upon reflection, all of this makes sense
Because—once again—opposites attract
On the other hand
It had not been Mother Nature's intent for opposites
To fight, come undone, and angrily part ways
Mother Nature had hoped that opposites
Would think to make good use of her gifts
Mother Nature had hoped that opposites
Would make good use of their Neo cortex
Mother Nature gave us the 'good' sense
To bring different strengths to the table
Mother Nature figured that
As a pair of partners continued to mature
Each would be empowered
By one learning from the other
And thus, with respect for division of labor
We'd lean on one another
Until we'd double our strengths
And in this way, over time
Both would develop
Into strong pillars of strength
With the ability to stand strong
Together, or on one's own
Unfortunately... Mother Nature forgot
To inform us of two crutial facts:
Mother Nature forgot to say:
Defensive walls, which go up
To protect us during childhood
Must be taken down
If love is to thrive
And defensive walls won't budge without help
Since no one is perfect
And since many have no clue of those facts
Few learn how to play the game of WIN-WIN
As for me, I got tired of playing LOSE-LOSE
And that's why I felt the need to start out on a quest
In hopes of discovering a lot about love and life
That I did not know as of yet
And being a woman, I didn't hesitate to ask for direction
Upon seeking guidance, I discovered this:
Each time I try to figure out
How to take down a loved one's wall
I lose track of my path
Each time I lose track of my path
I tend to wander back into a tunnel
Where I get no where, fast ...
Thank goodness, one bright day
I had the good fortune to learn about:
THE MYTH OF MOVEMENT
THE MYTH OF MOVEMENT
Taught me this fact:
While some tunnels develop the flexibility
To expand so that dark trains of thought
Can switch tracks
And move toward the light
Other tunnels remain firmly narrow
And thus does one train of thought
Continue to circle, round and round ...
On the same dark track, pretty much forever
As I wanted my spirit to experience
Love at it's deepest and life at its fullest
I decided to peel through
The layers of my tunnel ...
Examine my traits
Neutralize subconscious fears
And develop the inner strength
To take countless leaps of faith
And though I'd worked to entice others to do the same
That part of my mission 'seemed' to fail
And as failing pulled my spirit down
I made a scary decision
And chose to fly solo for a while
As best as I could
And as my wing span strengthened expansively
I was surprised to find others
Looking for direction ...
Examining self defeating traits
And developing the self trust
To busting out of tunnels
And choose to fly solo
In hopes of embracing the world, as a whole
And flying together, we formed a flock
That succeeds in encouraging each other
To fly high and free ... not of stress
(That would make this a fairy tale)
But free of inner conflict
Which turns intelligence into static
So if I'd learned all of that
Then what was my problem?
The problem, as I see it, today, had been this:
Many spirits, which long to soar
Have no clue
Of tunneling, round and round
On a single track in the dark
And with all that I'd absorbed
About communicating openly, honestly
Tolerantly and thus compassionately
I could not believe myself incapable
Of inspiring others to lift their blinders
So that their darkened trains of thought
Could stop crashing into self-defeating walls
And having invested too much hope in being heard
My heart reached out to their minds
And tunneled round with their hearts
Until inner conflict exhausted my mind
And my spirit fell flat on its face
Because I felt the need to fly solo, again!
And that leads me to ask
Have you ever watched a bird
Fly straight into the open door of your house?
Have you ever watched that poor little bird
Fly straight into a window pane, head first
Where, having dizzied itself silly
It flies round and round in such a panic
That it has no clue how to locate the open door
Where the freedom to fly high and free awaits?
Imagine how sad it is to see a sweet little bird brain
Feeling so confused
That it can't stop flying into wall after wall
We had to catch that dizzy, little creature
And save it from it's panicked state
And you can believe me when I say
That saving a sweet little bird
That's flying around in a panic
And crashing into wall after wall
Is no easy feat!
I wonder if you've ever read:
Over the past ten years, I've become aware of everone's need to identify self defeating traits in hopes of expanding inner strengths for as long as we live. Why? Because the only constant in life is change. (RR&R) If every aspect of life is vulnerable to change and if love is vital to embracing a healthy life, then common sense suggests that love is bound to change, too. *Therefore, it's possible for any relationship to unravel, just as it's possible for an unraveling relationship to bond more deeply than ever before. And that train of thought inspires my sense of hope to re-ignite, repeatedly.
Tell me a fish is dead in the water—watch me tickle it back to life and let it off the hook.
Guided by introspective thought, I chose to adopt speaking and listening skills when my first child grew to be an independent two year old, who'd look up at me and state—as clearly as you please—NO! And here is why his response made sense: Self confident, little monkey faces mimic everything they hear Big Mama say, and at two, independent little minds absorb NO! more often than any other word.
In case you'd like to ask:
Annie, if you'd learned so much about communications
Then why did your marriage come undone?
I'd say: We think a wall goes up
When a relationship breaks down
In truth, two walls go up
And what goes up must come down
However, the only defensive wall
I could work to dismantle was my own
You see, I'd learned speaking and listening skills
To improve my relationship with my kids
Then I came to see, that
If we hope to improve relationships with others
We must first work to improve
Our relationships with ourselves
Early on
My children learned to emulate (mimic) me
As to my husband ...
Well, being a good, hard working man
He was preoccupied with practicing his trade
And as opposites attract—for good reason
His train of thought ran on a different track from mine
In addition to all of the other hats I'd chosen for myself
I found it feat enough
To suit up and figure out how to act as engineer
When my train of thought kept circling
Round and round one track, while ...
My husband's tunnel vision
Circled round another
In short, neither of us had a clue of this fact:
Both of us had been chugging around
Two separate tunnels since we'd said, "I do."
Upon reflection, all of this makes sense
Because—once again—opposites attract
On the other hand
It had not been Mother Nature's intent for opposites
To fight, come undone, and angrily part ways
Mother Nature had hoped that opposites
Would think to make good use of her gifts
Mother Nature had hoped that opposites
Would make good use of their Neo cortex
Mother Nature gave us the 'good' sense
To bring different strengths to the table
Mother Nature figured that
As a pair of partners continued to mature
Each would be empowered
By one learning from the other
And thus, with respect for division of labor
We'd lean on one another
Until we'd double our strengths
And in this way, over time
Both would develop
Into strong pillars of strength
With the ability to stand strong
Together, or on one's own
Unfortunately... Mother Nature forgot
To inform us of two crutial facts:
Mother Nature forgot to say:
Defensive walls, which go up
To protect us during childhood
Must be taken down
If love is to thrive
And defensive walls won't budge without help
Since no one is perfect
And since many have no clue of those facts
Few learn how to play the game of WIN-WIN
As for me, I got tired of playing LOSE-LOSE
And that's why I felt the need to start out on a quest
In hopes of discovering a lot about love and life
That I did not know as of yet
And being a woman, I didn't hesitate to ask for direction
Upon seeking guidance, I discovered this:
Each time I try to figure out
How to take down a loved one's wall
I lose track of my path
Each time I lose track of my path
I tend to wander back into a tunnel
Where I get no where, fast ...
Thank goodness, one bright day
I had the good fortune to learn about:
THE MYTH OF MOVEMENT
THE MYTH OF MOVEMENT
Taught me this fact:
While some tunnels develop the flexibility
To expand so that dark trains of thought
Can switch tracks
And move toward the light
Other tunnels remain firmly narrow
And thus does one train of thought
Continue to circle, round and round ...
On the same dark track, pretty much forever
As I wanted my spirit to experience
Love at it's deepest and life at its fullest
I decided to peel through
The layers of my tunnel ...
Examine my traits
Neutralize subconscious fears
And develop the inner strength
To take countless leaps of faith
And though I'd worked to entice others to do the same
That part of my mission 'seemed' to fail
And as failing pulled my spirit down
I made a scary decision
And chose to fly solo for a while
As best as I could
And as my wing span strengthened expansively
I was surprised to find others
Looking for direction ...
Examining self defeating traits
And developing the self trust
To busting out of tunnels
And choose to fly solo
In hopes of embracing the world, as a whole
And flying together, we formed a flock
That succeeds in encouraging each other
To fly high and free ... not of stress
(That would make this a fairy tale)
But free of inner conflict
Which turns intelligence into static
So if I'd learned all of that
Then what was my problem?
The problem, as I see it, today, had been this:
Many spirits, which long to soar
Have no clue
Of tunneling, round and round
On a single track in the dark
And with all that I'd absorbed
About communicating openly, honestly
Tolerantly and thus compassionately
I could not believe myself incapable
Of inspiring others to lift their blinders
So that their darkened trains of thought
Could stop crashing into self-defeating walls
And having invested too much hope in being heard
My heart reached out to their minds
And tunneled round with their hearts
Until inner conflict exhausted my mind
And my spirit fell flat on its face
Because I felt the need to fly solo, again!
And that leads me to ask
Have you ever watched a bird
Fly straight into the open door of your house?
Have you ever watched that poor little bird
Fly straight into a window pane, head first
Where, having dizzied itself silly
It flies round and round in such a panic
That it has no clue how to locate the open door
Where the freedom to fly high and free awaits?
Imagine how sad it is to see a sweet little bird brain
Feeling so confused
That it can't stop flying into wall after wall
We had to catch that dizzy, little creature
And save it from it's panicked state
And you can believe me when I say
That saving a sweet little bird
That's flying around in a panic
And crashing into wall after wall
Is no easy feat!
I wonder if you've ever read:
Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach?
“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding. Find out what you already know and you will see the way to fly (free).”
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”
― Richard Bach, Illusions
"When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be." Richard BachAnd having said that, let's turn back the hands of time and watch a three year old child, who'll have no clue of flying, dizzily around, in dire need of finding a key to regain her mind's lost sense of inner peace —until a day dawns, many years down the road, and she recognizes her need to develop self trust, conquer fear, open a door, face the truth, take a leap of faith, fly separate from her flock and experience the world, solo, for the first time in her life ...
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