I never promised you a rose garden
I did promise you a story about a four year old's use of a simple three step sanity saving problem solving plan created by yours truly ... which was inadvertently deleted by yours truly ... so, ready or not, here it comes—take two:
It is summer
It is summer in the desert
It is true that summer in the desert is hot as blazes
It is true that blazing hot in the summer in the desert
Is so hot that the bottoms of pink little feet
Can't walk on concrete without screeching of burning alive!
That's why cool deck surrounds the cool waters
Of the diving pool beckoning to a pair of four year olds
More than once a day, every day!
But isn't desert heat dry?
Yup—dry as exhaust fumes emanating
From engine vents of super jets
Yup—dry as placing one's head in oven
Turned to broil
Air temp rises higher than 110 degrees in the shade
Water temp of pool climbs above 90 ... No lie!
Meaning pool is hotter than most choose to shower
To give you some idea of excruciating nature of blazing hot summer
Sidewalk so hot as to burn ten pink little piggies
Attached to bottoms of every pair of bare feet, regardless of age
Even dogs walked on leashes have been known to wear shoes
And that's the truth!
Hungry?
Crack egg on sidewalk
Wait 30 seconds
Sit down with plastic fork in hand
Woof down fried egg
Toss shells to fertilize grass
Recycle fork
No prep time
No clean up
No fuss no muss
Makes it easy to be 'green'
At four years of age
David and Aidan, who've recently returned from preschool
Entertain a strong hankering to release pent up energy
By diving off diving board into deep end
Followed by splashing around crystal clear pool
Strong swimmers, both have been on swim team for a year
Being tots, this pair of inseparable munchkins
Has not yet practiced patience tolerating tension
Which tends to build, instinctively, thus naturally
When their needs conflict with anyone else's ... Including mine
As these two active little guys need to splash away energy
Constrained within ever since recess on the play ground
It stands to reason that
David, who feels most at home in his own house
Is about to clamor to Mom that it's time to swim!
Oh yes, one vital reminder before scene setting est finis ...
These four year old tots became
Accomplished swimmers for this reason:
Each is the youngest in a family
Where every child swims competitively on the same team
And as hours are spent practicing with teammates, every day
Common sense suggests that this is one Mom
Who has chosen to replace super hero Underoos
With Speedo swim suits ...
One bought for each day in the week
Thus, every child, caped or not
Is swim ready from dawn—when practice takes place—
Past dusk, when swimmers—on-your-mark, get-set-ready—Bang!
Dive into pools at swim meets across the expanse of the city
In truth, this pair of four year olds
Whom you're sure to enjoy upon meeting
Has been competing in many events for more than a year!
And you can believe me when I say
That watching their valiant attempts
At remaining in their own lanes when swimming across
An Olympic sized pool while competing in
The butterfly stroke is quite a feat, indeed
In the past—before my children's fertile minds
Had absorbed three step problem solving plans—
Here's what would happen as soon as
Mommy exclaimed, Let's swim:
Clothes automatically fell to the floor ...
Here, there everywhere
This did not make me happy for two reasons:
After swimming in our backyard pool
Kids forgot to put on same clothes, again
Suggesting that clean clothes were pulled out of drawers
Leaving me staring at
Piles of unnecessary 'laundry' scattered
In whichever room each child had been in when
The call to swim sounded, loud and clear
And in addition to tons of unnecessary laundry
Piling up, here, there, everywhere ... every day
Here's what really made my mind swirl
Like a hornet, ready to strike ...
No matter how kindly and patiently
I'd requested clothing be removed in one place
The children, eager for energy-releasing activity
Ignored my oft spoken suggestion, until ...
Lack of respect for my needs rankled my nerves
You see, in addition to taking care of my family
I was one busy lady, indeed ...
Teaching, writing articles, sitting on boards, volunteering
Not to mention a thousand and one thankless tasks
That kept everyone's life running
Like a well organized business in which leadership
Strives to maintain the pinnacle of success, day after day
Knowing that family life, like business life
Must run like a well oiled machine
It was not unusual for tune ups to take place in our home
And thus, whenever lessons in self discipline
Proved necessary, my active brain would whip up a plan
Not just any old plan ...
Not just the same old, same old punitive plan
But rather a super duper
Three step sanity saving plan
That works like clockwork—
Much more often than not—even, today
And here is why that's true:
Everyone who grew up in our home
Became accustomed
To one three step plan or another
Consistently coming into play
Whenever a repetitive problem
Refused to go away ...
Over the years, the successful nature of these plans
Rooted so deeply into each of our brains
It's likely that we're unaware of
Their emergence in time of need, today
And I believe it is this statement of habitual consistency
That clarifies the main reason why
Problem solving 'seems' to come easy
To every person, whose sense of security
Continue to feel cradled within our family ...
As soon as today's story gets underway
You shall see every mind, including mine
Working mindfully to absorb a conscious respect for
Positively focused solution seeking skills
Therefore, you'll see, each one of us actively developing
A positively focused
One-for-all-all-for-one cooperative attitude, which
Encourages the development of group mentality where
Each mind opens up, listens up and takes leaps of faith
Similar to the leap of faith that I'm asking of you, today
And so, in hopes that you and I are ready
To land at the very spot
Where today's story, which had been inadvertently deleted (drats!)
Is ready to roll—here we go ... :)
While I am in the kitchen juggling umpteen who-knows-what, four year old David and his bestest friend in the whole wide world, Aidan, are bouncing off the walls in our family room, so eager are they to splash off suppressed energy after preschool.
Mommy! We want to go swimming!
Mommy! We want to go swimming!
Mommmmy—We want to go swimming!
This is the refrain parents hear, every day in the desert, where the summer, being hot as blazes, means playing indoors until the adult in charge feels free to accompany small folk, swimmers or not, poolside.
Most often, that refrain is answered by this one: In a minute, Sweetie, we'll swim as soon as I'm finished doing a million and one things that keep family life spinning like a well balanced top.
I am whistling as I work.
David and Aidan are bouncing away.
For a short spell, all is well.
Mommy! We want to go swimming—Nowwww!
Upon recognizing good natured excitement about to spin straight toward a tot's quick triggered impatience, I respond with leadership's good natured voice ...
I'll be done in a jiff—time to slip out of your clothes :)
With that, David makes a beeline for his bedroom.
Aidan's clothes seem to drop, automatically, to the floor where he stands.
As David scampers back into the family room, storm clouds blow in ...
Pointing the finger of judge and jury at his best bud, David exclaims, Hey! You can't do that! You need to put your clothes back on, right now!
At this, Aidan looks puzzled, But, we're going swimming!
Not till you put your clothes back on!
But we take our clothes off to go swimming. We put them on when we're done!
As soon as I'm aware of Aidan crying while David's voice of authority thunders up, I drop my task and glide toward two power struggling little guys, one of whom has just cause to feel confused.
At four years old, David has yet to master tension rising during conflict, so he stands with one hand on hip while pointer on other hand resembles a gun, aiming at the very heart of his deeply perplexed, best friend. Having no clue that the threatening nature of his stance catalyzes Aidan's fearful reaction, David's voice of authority reigns supreme. As to Aidan, his four year old brain is spinning out of control as if his best bud had just commanded him to walk stark naked into school!
As I know myself to have grown to be a role modeling voice of reason, a sense of inner calm bends my ear toward listening to both sides with compassion in hopes of nipping this storm in the bud before wailing cries on both sides blow utterly out of control. And having encircled anger and fear within the warmth of my embrace, leadership soothingly suggests that the boys take turns explaining the nature of the blustering gale, which created such a hair trigger change in the emotional climate as to have spun two warm and sunny, free spirits into a pair of frosty popsicles on sticks.
First off, I turn my focus toward brightening dark clouds of anger in hopes of diffusing mind-swirling tension which makes Aidan's animal instinct quake with fear. Then, assuming the role of knowledgable peace maker, I ask David, who is blustering about, to take a deep breath before revealing why he's too angry to respond calmly.
Aidan won't put his clothes back on! No one can swim till he does!
At this my eyes shine, while my mind stifles the laugh bubbling up in my throat. Wow! I think silently. He gets it! He really gets it!
Okay, I say, smiling brightly, I understand.
With this, David's defense system, feeling heard, spontaneously releases coils of tension and calms down—meaning half the tension is gone.
So far so good :)
Having calmed crackling tension, which creates warring opponents of buddies, the voice of reason turns to Aidan, who, though still crying quietly is no longer blubbering, because this little guy, whose intelligent mind feels exceptionally confused, is also calming down for two reasons ...
One: It's easier to feel confused than put down ...
And two: Now that the tension is halved, Aidan's defense system feels less threatened, so his thought processor, though still confused, is up and running, again, meaning that curiosity has been jogged. Once curiosity is aroused, Aidan's sixth sense wants to understand the bigger picture, which seems to have clarified for the other two—therefore, this bright child's listening skills engage automatically with whatever is being said.
So, okay ... that's enough for today. Why? Well, first of all, I've offered enough food for thought for one day. Secondly, I'm about to be late for a doctor's appointment. And thirdly, I'm happy, again. Why? Because take-two of this story is flowing out of my mind, differently than the first version but just as satisfyingly to the story teller in me. You see, when it comes to storytelling, I can either tell it well or put my listeners to sleep. :)
As I prefer to stimulate your minds to think rather than snore, I'll leave you with this last thought, chugging along an oft traveled track:
What's done is done.
We can't go back.
We can only go forward with postive focus intact, hoping ...
To learn how to tune up our minds so as not to repeat past mistakes
And as it's time for my trainer to tune up my body ...
Clickity clack ... please stay tuned for part two ...
Your cornball friend,
:) Annie
I did promise you a story about a four year old's use of a simple three step sanity saving problem solving plan created by yours truly ... which was inadvertently deleted by yours truly ... so, ready or not, here it comes—take two:
It is summer
It is summer in the desert
It is true that summer in the desert is hot as blazes
It is true that blazing hot in the summer in the desert
Is so hot that the bottoms of pink little feet
Can't walk on concrete without screeching of burning alive!
That's why cool deck surrounds the cool waters
Of the diving pool beckoning to a pair of four year olds
More than once a day, every day!
But isn't desert heat dry?
Yup—dry as exhaust fumes emanating
From engine vents of super jets
Yup—dry as placing one's head in oven
Turned to broil
Air temp rises higher than 110 degrees in the shade
Water temp of pool climbs above 90 ... No lie!
Meaning pool is hotter than most choose to shower
To give you some idea of excruciating nature of blazing hot summer
Sidewalk so hot as to burn ten pink little piggies
Attached to bottoms of every pair of bare feet, regardless of age
Even dogs walked on leashes have been known to wear shoes
And that's the truth!
Hungry?
Crack egg on sidewalk
Wait 30 seconds
Sit down with plastic fork in hand
Woof down fried egg
Toss shells to fertilize grass
Recycle fork
No prep time
No clean up
No fuss no muss
Makes it easy to be 'green'
At four years of age
David and Aidan, who've recently returned from preschool
Entertain a strong hankering to release pent up energy
By diving off diving board into deep end
Followed by splashing around crystal clear pool
Strong swimmers, both have been on swim team for a year
Being tots, this pair of inseparable munchkins
Has not yet practiced patience tolerating tension
Which tends to build, instinctively, thus naturally
When their needs conflict with anyone else's ... Including mine
As these two active little guys need to splash away energy
Constrained within ever since recess on the play ground
It stands to reason that
David, who feels most at home in his own house
Is about to clamor to Mom that it's time to swim!
Oh yes, one vital reminder before scene setting est finis ...
These four year old tots became
Accomplished swimmers for this reason:
Each is the youngest in a family
Where every child swims competitively on the same team
And as hours are spent practicing with teammates, every day
Common sense suggests that this is one Mom
Who has chosen to replace super hero Underoos
With Speedo swim suits ...
One bought for each day in the week
Thus, every child, caped or not
Is swim ready from dawn—when practice takes place—
Past dusk, when swimmers—on-your-mark, get-set-ready—Bang!
Dive into pools at swim meets across the expanse of the city
In truth, this pair of four year olds
Whom you're sure to enjoy upon meeting
Has been competing in many events for more than a year!
And you can believe me when I say
That watching their valiant attempts
At remaining in their own lanes when swimming across
An Olympic sized pool while competing in
The butterfly stroke is quite a feat, indeed
In the past—before my children's fertile minds
Had absorbed three step problem solving plans—
Here's what would happen as soon as
Mommy exclaimed, Let's swim:
Clothes automatically fell to the floor ...
Here, there everywhere
This did not make me happy for two reasons:
After swimming in our backyard pool
Kids forgot to put on same clothes, again
Suggesting that clean clothes were pulled out of drawers
Leaving me staring at
Piles of unnecessary 'laundry' scattered
In whichever room each child had been in when
The call to swim sounded, loud and clear
And in addition to tons of unnecessary laundry
Piling up, here, there, everywhere ... every day
Here's what really made my mind swirl
Like a hornet, ready to strike ...
No matter how kindly and patiently
I'd requested clothing be removed in one place
The children, eager for energy-releasing activity
Ignored my oft spoken suggestion, until ...
Lack of respect for my needs rankled my nerves
You see, in addition to taking care of my family
I was one busy lady, indeed ...
Teaching, writing articles, sitting on boards, volunteering
Not to mention a thousand and one thankless tasks
That kept everyone's life running
Like a well organized business in which leadership
Strives to maintain the pinnacle of success, day after day
Knowing that family life, like business life
Must run like a well oiled machine
It was not unusual for tune ups to take place in our home
And thus, whenever lessons in self discipline
Proved necessary, my active brain would whip up a plan
Not just any old plan ...
Not just the same old, same old punitive plan
But rather a super duper
Three step sanity saving plan
That works like clockwork—
Much more often than not—even, today
And here is why that's true:
Everyone who grew up in our home
Became accustomed
To one three step plan or another
Consistently coming into play
Whenever a repetitive problem
Refused to go away ...
Over the years, the successful nature of these plans
Rooted so deeply into each of our brains
It's likely that we're unaware of
Their emergence in time of need, today
And I believe it is this statement of habitual consistency
That clarifies the main reason why
Problem solving 'seems' to come easy
To every person, whose sense of security
Continue to feel cradled within our family ...
As soon as today's story gets underway
You shall see every mind, including mine
Working mindfully to absorb a conscious respect for
Positively focused solution seeking skills
Therefore, you'll see, each one of us actively developing
A positively focused
One-for-all-all-for-one cooperative attitude, which
Encourages the development of group mentality where
Each mind opens up, listens up and takes leaps of faith
Similar to the leap of faith that I'm asking of you, today
And so, in hopes that you and I are ready
To land at the very spot
Where today's story, which had been inadvertently deleted (drats!)
Is ready to roll—here we go ... :)
While I am in the kitchen juggling umpteen who-knows-what, four year old David and his bestest friend in the whole wide world, Aidan, are bouncing off the walls in our family room, so eager are they to splash off suppressed energy after preschool.
Mommy! We want to go swimming!
Mommy! We want to go swimming!
Mommmmy—We want to go swimming!
This is the refrain parents hear, every day in the desert, where the summer, being hot as blazes, means playing indoors until the adult in charge feels free to accompany small folk, swimmers or not, poolside.
Most often, that refrain is answered by this one: In a minute, Sweetie, we'll swim as soon as I'm finished doing a million and one things that keep family life spinning like a well balanced top.
I am whistling as I work.
David and Aidan are bouncing away.
For a short spell, all is well.
Mommy! We want to go swimming—Nowwww!
Upon recognizing good natured excitement about to spin straight toward a tot's quick triggered impatience, I respond with leadership's good natured voice ...
I'll be done in a jiff—time to slip out of your clothes :)
With that, David makes a beeline for his bedroom.
Aidan's clothes seem to drop, automatically, to the floor where he stands.
As David scampers back into the family room, storm clouds blow in ...
Pointing the finger of judge and jury at his best bud, David exclaims, Hey! You can't do that! You need to put your clothes back on, right now!
At this, Aidan looks puzzled, But, we're going swimming!
Not till you put your clothes back on!
But we take our clothes off to go swimming. We put them on when we're done!
As soon as I'm aware of Aidan crying while David's voice of authority thunders up, I drop my task and glide toward two power struggling little guys, one of whom has just cause to feel confused.
At four years old, David has yet to master tension rising during conflict, so he stands with one hand on hip while pointer on other hand resembles a gun, aiming at the very heart of his deeply perplexed, best friend. Having no clue that the threatening nature of his stance catalyzes Aidan's fearful reaction, David's voice of authority reigns supreme. As to Aidan, his four year old brain is spinning out of control as if his best bud had just commanded him to walk stark naked into school!
As I know myself to have grown to be a role modeling voice of reason, a sense of inner calm bends my ear toward listening to both sides with compassion in hopes of nipping this storm in the bud before wailing cries on both sides blow utterly out of control. And having encircled anger and fear within the warmth of my embrace, leadership soothingly suggests that the boys take turns explaining the nature of the blustering gale, which created such a hair trigger change in the emotional climate as to have spun two warm and sunny, free spirits into a pair of frosty popsicles on sticks.
First off, I turn my focus toward brightening dark clouds of anger in hopes of diffusing mind-swirling tension which makes Aidan's animal instinct quake with fear. Then, assuming the role of knowledgable peace maker, I ask David, who is blustering about, to take a deep breath before revealing why he's too angry to respond calmly.
Aidan won't put his clothes back on! No one can swim till he does!
At this my eyes shine, while my mind stifles the laugh bubbling up in my throat. Wow! I think silently. He gets it! He really gets it!
Okay, I say, smiling brightly, I understand.
With this, David's defense system, feeling heard, spontaneously releases coils of tension and calms down—meaning half the tension is gone.
So far so good :)
Having calmed crackling tension, which creates warring opponents of buddies, the voice of reason turns to Aidan, who, though still crying quietly is no longer blubbering, because this little guy, whose intelligent mind feels exceptionally confused, is also calming down for two reasons ...
One: It's easier to feel confused than put down ...
And two: Now that the tension is halved, Aidan's defense system feels less threatened, so his thought processor, though still confused, is up and running, again, meaning that curiosity has been jogged. Once curiosity is aroused, Aidan's sixth sense wants to understand the bigger picture, which seems to have clarified for the other two—therefore, this bright child's listening skills engage automatically with whatever is being said.
So, okay ... that's enough for today. Why? Well, first of all, I've offered enough food for thought for one day. Secondly, I'm about to be late for a doctor's appointment. And thirdly, I'm happy, again. Why? Because take-two of this story is flowing out of my mind, differently than the first version but just as satisfyingly to the story teller in me. You see, when it comes to storytelling, I can either tell it well or put my listeners to sleep. :)
As I prefer to stimulate your minds to think rather than snore, I'll leave you with this last thought, chugging along an oft traveled track:
What's done is done.
We can't go back.
We can only go forward with postive focus intact, hoping ...
To learn how to tune up our minds so as not to repeat past mistakes
And as it's time for my trainer to tune up my body ...
Clickity clack ... please stay tuned for part two ...
Your cornball friend,
:) Annie
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