During my twenties, I had yet to learn that children empower others with estimating their sense of self worth.
During my thirties, I worked at empowering my children to think for themselves by consciously considering consequences resultant of their choices.
During my forties, I'd no clue that having empowered my children to choose for themselves, I had need to clarify those who continued to disenfranchise my connection to self empowerment.
During my forties, my self help library had focused upon raising responsible children with high self esteem rather than addressing my own. At that time my articles focused upon injecting humor into child rearing techniques.
During my forties, this mind bending insight hit: As soon as adults get mad they act just like defensive kids. At the first hint of conflict wafting through the air, the mind's think tank shuts down thus loosening the reins on these basic animal instincts: fight, flee or freeze in place. Once the wild thing uncages, all sense of logic burns to a crisp. As that insight hit, I thought—Wow! As soon as I sniff conflict in the air, it's best to straighten my thinking cap, set my ego's defense system to one side and figure out how to calm every wild thing within earshot to remain rational, clear headed adults. Upon adding this insight to the arsenal of insights brightening my mind, my participation in heated conversations began to chug along a much more conscious track in terms of heightening this listening skill: I began to discern whether any hot spots may have ignited emotional combustion within the minds of whomever had begun to react irrationally. In this way did my listening prowess deepen. Though this insight proved quite helpful when conflict resolution depended upon two cool, objective minds working in tandem, I still had no clue as to what ignited my hot spots or with whom my self esteem continued to spring insecure leaks.
During my fifties, I had no clue that subconscious fears forbade my spirit's vitality to fly free of constraint. My defensive shield forbade me from recognizing how readily my spirit sagged when my best efforts failed to resolve conflicts with those I'd loved or admired. At the first sign of another's displeasure or destain, my spirit's natural surge of self empowered energy plummeted from soaring, creatively, to shrinking and sinking, quick as a pinprick pops a balloon. In short, my focus aimed at taking better care of the needs of others than my own.
In retrospect, I had no clue that during two vital stages of classic child development, a series emotional tornados had swooped into my life, causing my sense of clarity—and thus my self trust (self confidence)—to hollow out. I'd no clue that a master sleuth had need to back track into my youth in hopes of recovering memories, buried within my subconscious, which riddled my conscious mind with insecurities. As these insecurities were subconscious in nature, I was blocked from recognizing narrow mind sets that caused my brain cells to absorb a consistent sense of self worth.
During my fifties a series of mind-blowing experiences offered my me reason to absorb existential thought patterns learned in my youth. Once these existential theories, which I'd memorized but not internalized, transitioned into beliefs, absorbed organically, transformation, resembling the metamorphosis of caterpillar to butterfly, flying free to BE ME, got a jump start, at last ...
In retrospect, while my mind underwent those first vital steps of transition from confusion toward clarity in terms of my vulnerabilities and strengths, I still had no clue that accepting myself as a whole depended upon uncovering insecurities, hiding from me, subconsciously.
During my fifties, my memory bank must have absorbed more self esteem building experiences than anyone knew, including me, because once my mind turned inward, nothing, including hurtful judgments, could turn my inner compass around ... And the more I came to see the person I'd grown to be with clarity, the more my spirit's natural, sparkling inner strengths shone out from within my core. From that time on, clarity became my spirit's best friend :)
Amazingly, as self discovery forged on, my mind, heart and spirit began to connect differently with everyone I knew. Why? Because each time a narrow mind set had reason to expand, my attitudes changed—for the better in this way: As my attitude, concerning myself, improved, my spirit mustered the strength to place my trust in those who openly supported my goal of improving my life. This meant I had to recognize those who loved me but harbored attitudes that acted like viruses, dizzying my decision making machine. In case this is news to you, undergoing mental transition is famous for making waves with those you love.
The first time I worked at removing the pleaser's self imposed yoke from my mind was twenty years ago, and at that time, no one was more shocked by my decisions than me. The second time I worked my mind to the bone, removing a yoke of servitude, self imposed during my youth, occurred during the last decade of my life. Actually, upon second thought ... same yoke ... in need of being identified twice. And having worked to identify and remove a yoke that 'forbade' me to develop into a stronger version of myself twice is more than enough experience for me to decide that I'll not allow that dark spot in my brain to suck the whole of me into that junk drawer, ever again!
Even today, it's hard for the pleaser in me to recognize how far I bend toward pleasing the needs of others. Knowing this, I've recently set up a barometer inside my head that works like this. When my spirit starts to sink, I ask myself this question: Did something snap my junk drawer open wide enough to suck me in or is it time to re-evaluate how much of my time and energy I'm offering to another who seems to be drifting toward a sense of growing complacency with me?
Food for thought:
Do you ever wonder if a person you love is in need of discovering a junk drawer with a quick trigger release that snaps open, too easily? If so, I hope your loved one uncovers subconscious dark spots years younger than I discovered mine ... because it's only wise for all of us to strengthen our spirits by taking control over the pathways of our minds ...
As for me, I'm redirecting my focus toward happy trails till next we meet ...
:)Annie
During my thirties, I worked at empowering my children to think for themselves by consciously considering consequences resultant of their choices.
During my forties, I'd no clue that having empowered my children to choose for themselves, I had need to clarify those who continued to disenfranchise my connection to self empowerment.
During my forties, my self help library had focused upon raising responsible children with high self esteem rather than addressing my own. At that time my articles focused upon injecting humor into child rearing techniques.
During my forties, this mind bending insight hit: As soon as adults get mad they act just like defensive kids. At the first hint of conflict wafting through the air, the mind's think tank shuts down thus loosening the reins on these basic animal instincts: fight, flee or freeze in place. Once the wild thing uncages, all sense of logic burns to a crisp. As that insight hit, I thought—Wow! As soon as I sniff conflict in the air, it's best to straighten my thinking cap, set my ego's defense system to one side and figure out how to calm every wild thing within earshot to remain rational, clear headed adults. Upon adding this insight to the arsenal of insights brightening my mind, my participation in heated conversations began to chug along a much more conscious track in terms of heightening this listening skill: I began to discern whether any hot spots may have ignited emotional combustion within the minds of whomever had begun to react irrationally. In this way did my listening prowess deepen. Though this insight proved quite helpful when conflict resolution depended upon two cool, objective minds working in tandem, I still had no clue as to what ignited my hot spots or with whom my self esteem continued to spring insecure leaks.
During my fifties, I had no clue that subconscious fears forbade my spirit's vitality to fly free of constraint. My defensive shield forbade me from recognizing how readily my spirit sagged when my best efforts failed to resolve conflicts with those I'd loved or admired. At the first sign of another's displeasure or destain, my spirit's natural surge of self empowered energy plummeted from soaring, creatively, to shrinking and sinking, quick as a pinprick pops a balloon. In short, my focus aimed at taking better care of the needs of others than my own.
In retrospect, I had no clue that during two vital stages of classic child development, a series emotional tornados had swooped into my life, causing my sense of clarity—and thus my self trust (self confidence)—to hollow out. I'd no clue that a master sleuth had need to back track into my youth in hopes of recovering memories, buried within my subconscious, which riddled my conscious mind with insecurities. As these insecurities were subconscious in nature, I was blocked from recognizing narrow mind sets that caused my brain cells to absorb a consistent sense of self worth.
During my fifties a series of mind-blowing experiences offered my me reason to absorb existential thought patterns learned in my youth. Once these existential theories, which I'd memorized but not internalized, transitioned into beliefs, absorbed organically, transformation, resembling the metamorphosis of caterpillar to butterfly, flying free to BE ME, got a jump start, at last ...
In retrospect, while my mind underwent those first vital steps of transition from confusion toward clarity in terms of my vulnerabilities and strengths, I still had no clue that accepting myself as a whole depended upon uncovering insecurities, hiding from me, subconsciously.
During my fifties, my memory bank must have absorbed more self esteem building experiences than anyone knew, including me, because once my mind turned inward, nothing, including hurtful judgments, could turn my inner compass around ... And the more I came to see the person I'd grown to be with clarity, the more my spirit's natural, sparkling inner strengths shone out from within my core. From that time on, clarity became my spirit's best friend :)
Amazingly, as self discovery forged on, my mind, heart and spirit began to connect differently with everyone I knew. Why? Because each time a narrow mind set had reason to expand, my attitudes changed—for the better in this way: As my attitude, concerning myself, improved, my spirit mustered the strength to place my trust in those who openly supported my goal of improving my life. This meant I had to recognize those who loved me but harbored attitudes that acted like viruses, dizzying my decision making machine. In case this is news to you, undergoing mental transition is famous for making waves with those you love.
The first time I worked at removing the pleaser's self imposed yoke from my mind was twenty years ago, and at that time, no one was more shocked by my decisions than me. The second time I worked my mind to the bone, removing a yoke of servitude, self imposed during my youth, occurred during the last decade of my life. Actually, upon second thought ... same yoke ... in need of being identified twice. And having worked to identify and remove a yoke that 'forbade' me to develop into a stronger version of myself twice is more than enough experience for me to decide that I'll not allow that dark spot in my brain to suck the whole of me into that junk drawer, ever again!
Even today, it's hard for the pleaser in me to recognize how far I bend toward pleasing the needs of others. Knowing this, I've recently set up a barometer inside my head that works like this. When my spirit starts to sink, I ask myself this question: Did something snap my junk drawer open wide enough to suck me in or is it time to re-evaluate how much of my time and energy I'm offering to another who seems to be drifting toward a sense of growing complacency with me?
Food for thought:
Do you ever wonder if a person you love is in need of discovering a junk drawer with a quick trigger release that snaps open, too easily? If so, I hope your loved one uncovers subconscious dark spots years younger than I discovered mine ... because it's only wise for all of us to strengthen our spirits by taking control over the pathways of our minds ...
As for me, I'm redirecting my focus toward happy trails till next we meet ...
:)Annie
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