What if feeling happy is not always a choice, as I’d believed to be true until recent weeks when my medical prognosis changed from ‘recovering my good health’ to ‘prolonging my longevity’?
My previous thought begs the question—what can I do to lighten the heavy weight of such a grim prognosis?
Thank goodness, without hesitation, my intuitive power offered up this reply:
Annie, just breathe. You don’t have to ‘do’ anything to create change for the better except to open a door in your wall of denial, so as to free your honest feelings to flow forth, naturally.
By being true to myself to the core, I’ll not bottle up layers of sadness until the cork pops, releasing my denial of reality to sweep my mindful connection to logic away, leaving me feeling too emotionally overwhelmed to function with any sense of clarity, at all.
Perhaps the depths of my sadness must be consciously processed, accepted and absorbed before any positively focused emotion can re-emerge, naturally, offering my state of mind a true sense of balance, again.
Appointment with my thoracic surgeon was yesterday. She reassured me that my exhaustion, based in bronchitis, created a set back that would take time to improve. I do regain a little more energy, every day. And I can feel myself beginning to release depths of sadness that have been repressed ever since the third tumor was seen in my last PET scan.
I think release of repressed sadness is healthy as human nature has two sides, both of which create a whole. And my sense of sadness can no longer be denied if balance and clarity are to be mine.
Something to think about …
Annie
Thank goodness for intuitive thought …
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