CHANGE FOR THE BETTER RELIES UPON ...

Upon awakening, this morning
Insights of significant importance, concerning
Healing my brain from the inside out so as not to
Re-experience self defeating, mind reeling
Spiritually depleting attacks of PTSD, repeatedly
Were added to yesterday’s post ...

If you ask what catalyzed additional insights to
Manifest consciously upon waking, feeling well rested, today
I’ll reference a conversation that took place during
Dinner, last night, while Will, David and I feasted upon
Chinese cuisine prepared by our dear friend and neighbor of
More than twenty years, whose family owns
An authentic Asian restaurant, near by —

While chopsticks clicked
Our minds engaged interactively as we three discussed
Scenes from a film, soon to be distributed to
Theaters across the nation, which had need to be
Reshot and edited in record time so as to replace
Kevin Spacey, leaving the pedophile on the cutting room floor
And as our conversation continued, the conscious portion of
My awareness wandered from Spacey toward
The pedophile residing in The White House, whereby
My body shivered; I felt clammy and my mind’s sudden sense of
Dizziness left me feeling spacey as though the mere thought of
Trump’s unexpected rise to,political power had, once again
Crudely invaded my personal sense of safety by rudely disrupting
My mindful connection to inner peace as soon as
My train of thought considered the impossibility of paying any
Respectful degree of homage to a President, whose sick mind felt
Empowered to burst into the dressing room of
The Miss Teen Aged America Contest, regardless of knowing that
Under age girls, being unclad, would feel a deeply humiliated need to
Cover their betrayed sense of innocence while being ogled by
A mogul, whose smarminess has grown every bit as powerful as
The immensity of his wealth as though outrageous wealth empowers
A person’s dark side to bulk up, like The Hulk, so far above
Common decency as to break one law after another at will, and
As one thought coupled up with the next, as though all on their own
The wandering nature of my subconscious spoke volumes to
My conscious awareness, literally making me feel so light-headed and
Sick to my stomach that I can see why the defense systems of
Millions of people continue to sever their conscious awareness from
The frightening nature of this deeper truth:  Hidden behind their
Mental block lies the reality of the fact that this slick shyster, who having been
Elected President of the United States of America, has shnuckered voters
(Including voters who were elected to serve in congress in order to ensure that
Laws are drawn up, enacted and upheld, which are meant to protect
Our lives, liberties and right to pursue happiness from buckling under
The callus, brass knuckled domination of minds that prove as
Self serving as Trump's).  And the fact that so many, hiding behind
Silence, fail to rise up, denounce him as the beast that he is and
Demand that this sexual pervert, tax dodging felon, who must be
Impeached if not actually tried and jailed without bail, is deemed fit
To rule our nation while actors, directors, congressmen, businessmen and
Clergy are removed from high office with retroactive haste is insane ...

Well, hopefully, you are among those who can see why
My brain’s well practiced defense mechanism of
Personally disassociating my sanity from insanity during
Childhood has been so readily triggered as the merest hint of
Deeply repressed fury, which proves directly associated with
My disassociated memory of sexual assault suffered repeatedly at
The hand of a pedophile, which I'd stuffed into subconscious storage, has
Had ample and logical reason to continue to erupt ever since
Trump usurped control over the brain’s of so many people as to
Have astoundingly ascended to the Oval Office, over night  —however
Last night, my conscious mind maintained so much of
The presence of 'the here and now' as to have alerted
My self assertive voice to interrupt our conversation, releasing
My intelligence to take center stage, freeing my self-respect to
Interject that my heart was racing, my mind was reeling and
I’d suddenly felt faint, cueing my husband to
Offer me a glass of water, and following my therapist’s suggestion
I uncapped and inhaled the strong, re-grounding scent of peppermint salts while
We three awaited the arousal of my survival instinct to calm down—which
Thankfully, it did in record time, freeing my spirit to enjoy the evening that
Stretched peacefully ahead with my family, sans spiking anxiety

Upon awakening, today, my intuitive voice
Guided my conscious mind to scroll back, revise and
Strengthen insights that emerged while editing
Yesterday’s post before penning this post, today
And though 90% of my conscious mind feels
Rooted in today’s sense of reality, I feel a hint of a headache
Coming on as well as a slight gag reflex closing my throat as
Though an intensely horrific memory is presently attempting to
Dislodge itself from a vice that exists between my brain and
Stomach, so as to squeeze latent pain out of
My heart—on the other hand, this may not be a horrendous
Memory, at all, but rather a deeper truth that's feeling ready to
Ride out of subconscious intellect upon a flash of insight
And if you ask me to identify which positively focused insight
May be attempting to pull today’s intuitive train of thought into
A peaceful rest station, momentarily, I’d respond that
My spirit brightened and lightened as soon as
This reply leaped into my conscious mind:
I can feel my conscious intelligence working to
Soothe my head, melt the lump in my throat and
Ease up on the vice so as to calm my heart before
The phantom-like presence of the dead pedophile, whom
I've been writing about, can haunt my subconscious by
Taunting my sense of inner peace with Trump’s presumptive
Presence looming darkly above the heads of innocent victims, who
Will be next to fall prey to the nature of this man’s unstopped
Evil shark sharpened greed, and though I can't stop this bully from
Existing, I can pull my finger off of the trigger that stimulates
My survival instinct to feel need to faint dead away as had
Almost proved true as recently as last night, though, thank goodness
My connection to clarity, concerning every person’s need for
Courage, every day, regardless of age, color, religion or
Nationality suggests my having grown ever more attentively aware of
This reality:  Presently, my loved ones and I are safe from
Imminent harm, and no matter how hard my heart had worked
Throughout my life while spreading my energy thin, I still can’t
Stretch my arms around the world to save every mother’s child from
Harm any more than I had been able to save myself from
Evil closing in, and so in lieu of continuing to stress myself out by
Stretching beyond human limitation, I cannon my thoughts throughout
Cyberspace by way of penning and publishing this blog in hopes that
My belief in the power of one may strengthen my sense of
Holding hands with the powers of many, each time
The next uprising of subconscious EVIL threatens to
Close in so as to remind my conscious self that
As long more of us learn to grasp the fact that every insight gained
Offers a key to unlocking our communal need to muster
The courage to welcome each next insight-driven
Personal growth spurt so as to break self-imposed chains of silence, based in
Childhood’s repressed fear of resurrecting yesteryear’s pain so that
As adults, we can gain the courage necessary to
Calm our minds of anxiety's dizzying noise in time to listen for and heed
Intuitive suggestion to make better use of our self assertive voices, more
Often, by lessening our subconscious fear of being cast out, all alone —
You see, each time good will toward men, women and children
Overcomes IMAGINED fear of evil closing in darkly on you and me
Our subconscious fear (repressed from conscious awareness during
Childhood) of being all alone on the playground to fend for ourselves in
A cold, cruel world feels relieved, and each time imagined fear, arising from
Within our subconscious depths, is fully revealed, today, our precious
Presence of mind and spirit feel graciously at peace, once again
Whew!  So good to know that, currently, my mindful connection to
Clarity, concerning today’s reality, dodged last night’s bullet before
Yet another eruptive episode of PTSD shot my conscious connection to
Inner peace full of holes, projecting a dead pedophile to haunt
My lost sense of innocence, plaguing my current sense of well being with
Anger or undeserved guilt or whatever emotional reaction
I managed to quell, last night—and
Here’s another shot in the arm meant to inoculate
My conscious awareness against the unstopped release of
Subconscious terrors as my future unfolds:
I'm keeping in mind the fact that my therapist plans to offer up
A new plan of action in hopes of readying my awareness to
Move steadily forward toward completing my process of healing at
A quickened pace, and as hope is always a positively focused source of fuel to
Recharge my spirit, the wattage of my smile re-energized as naturally as
My present sense of mindfulness recited this next thought aloud:
Count my sense of readiness 100% IN!

Three year old innocence melts my heart while my determination to heal continues to strengthen

Three weeks ago:  Ravi's birthday cake is about to be
Set down before this sweet child with four candles aflame

Three in celebration of her precious years on earth and
The fourth for good luck—Of course!
Or perhaps
Flame #1 is symbolic of firing up Ravi's innate strength of mind
Flame #2 is symbolic of firing up Ravi's innate strength of spirit
Flame #3 is symbolic of firing up Ravi's innate potential to make sound use of her voice
And, yes—Flame #4 is still for good luck—of course :)
Please take note of Ravi's 'tattoo'
Recently, she see herself as Kion
(Offspring of grown up Simba from The Lion King)
Being Simba, Ravi has not donned a princess gown for many weeks
Why not?
Because Ravi believes herself to be
The Leader of the good guys who protect the Pride Lands from
Predators (as can clearly be seen in this photo, which
Was proudly displayed on the invitation to her third birthday party)
And even three year olds know that lions with manes and tails do not wear gowns

I'm constantly amazed at how much knowledge Ravi’s intellect has
Soaked into memory at the tender age of three
Trains of thought, which emerge, naturally, from my grand-daughter’s
Self-assertive think tank blow my mind, every day ...