2015
I awakened, yesterday
On The Day of Atonement for last year's sins feeling
Seriously reflective, just shy of somber, why?
Because, while dressing in High Holy Day finery
A flash of insight suggested that it is possible to
Sin against oneself, and earlier this summer
That sin was mine, yet again, when I'd unknowingly
Repressed a natural outpouring of emotion to
Such a painful degree as to have caused an adrenalin rush to
Overpower my heart's ventricular function, suggestive of
My need to remind myself, daily, of how often
My life's decisions had habitually been so selfless as to have
Sinned against my own good health, repeatedly ...
And thus did I arise, yesterday, with
Insight brewing within, suggestive of this fact:
We'd be wise to tune into those times when
Intuition cautions us to note that
Too high a degree of selflessness, in terms of
Repressing need to be true to one's
Innermost personal truth, can prove to be
Every bit as unhealthy as the obvious sin of
Selfishness, which considers no one's needs other than one's own
And as that distinction between extremes clarified for me before
Attending services, yesterday, I decided, while
Riding toward the house of God in our car, to ready
Both sides of my mind to coalesce, in hopes of
Preparing my whole self (my soulful self) to
Reflect ever more mindfully into absorbing
The value of balance in all things during
Yom Kippur services, at which time
My think tank spent hours feasting humbly upon
Wisdom, passed down through the ages, as found
Within the holy scroll of the Torah in which
Balance in all things is noted, repeatedly, for all to absorb as
Each person must determine when it's best to
Resolve inner conflict by choosing
An eye for an eye or turning the other cheek—though
Personally, I've found that neither choice works for me, and
Here's why that's true:
When selflessness ruled my decision-making process
Turn the other cheek had been my chosen path, and
Though, most naturally, change tends to
Take us from one extreme to the other before
Gaining insight into deepening our sense of inner balance
An eye for an eye has never been my choice, for this reason:
Ever since childhood, intuition has challenged
My mental awareness to seek and absorb
Knowledge, concerning my need to gain
A deeper sense of insight into adopting
Open minded trains of thought, based in self disciplined, mutually respectful
Compassionate, yet self assertive brainstorming sessions, when
Conflict resolution remains unresolved, over long, suggesting that
My chosen path to be in direct opposition to
The concept of an eye for an eye—which
May have proved necessary in days of yore when
Conflicts remained unresolved, during
Biblical times, eons before major breakthroughs in psychology
Had advanced to the point of acknowledging that
The development of each person's neocortex has
The God given potential to identify, embrace and
Create a balance between
Both sides of human nature, dependent upon
Knowledge gained, concerning the complex functions of
Each human brain, and the more I absorb about
Mental habits and learned response, the more my
Life's adventure with personal growth directs me to
Consciously choose to reveal whatever my heart truly feels with
Reverence for universal vulnerability, which all too often
During conflict, remains cloaked, untapped and
Silent behind denial's impenetrable defensive walls until
Individuals, who remain sadly divided in separate camps
Begin to feel ever more intuitively free to
Progress in a timely, not to be confused with
A unilateral, manner, toward regaining their
Heartfelt reconciliation, one slow, cautious step at a time
I also believe that if yesteryear so scribes, who'd penned the bible
Had swooped down from on high, during the twentieth century
They'd have felt divinely inspired to edit passages, referencing
An eye for an eye, because in his open-minded wisdom
God would choose to delete closed minded attitudes, based in
Seeking revenge, in favor of adding this commandment
To the first ten (which, throughout history too many souls
Have chosen to ignore)! so when I imagine
God's fiery finger of fate leaping back and forth across the keyboard
Let's see what comes to mind:
Thou shalt set out on a personal quest to
Resolve conflict by way of tunneling within until insight into
Thy need for balance inspires thee to develop personal traits, such as flexibility
Positive focus and kind hearted compassion for human vulnerability, thus,
Transforming thy thoughts, words and actions into workable plans, which
Considering needs, all around, injects humility into both souls while
Hope of resolving long-standing conflicts, all in good time, inspires
Each brain to Take two courageous steps forward, one indecisive step
Back, until insight into bigger pictures clarifies, all around
And if you ask: Annie, what's new with that train of thought? I'd reply:
In recent years, 'all around' has come to mean inclusive of my needs as well as
Those of everyone I love—however, guess who forgot
The merits of that plan to include my needs, yet again, during
The heat of conflict, this summer? (Though I did make better use of
Insight to know when to open my mouth and employ
A self assured voice to rise in my defense a bit more often than
Had been possible in the past, thus stopping the
Uncontrolled wrath of another from attempts to
Create a scapegoat by projecting
One's own less desirable character traits on to me
You see, just as Afrin has re-opened my swollen nasal pathways, freeing
My innate ability to re-oxygenate my brain, thus did
Reflection over my time in intensive care, this summer
Open my mind to the fact that I'm still taking better care of
My loved ones' hearts than my own, and
Thus as the future unfolds, I'll take steps toward maintaining
My sense of discretion rather than resorting to emotional repression
And now, having spoken of happy, healthy hearts ...
It's nearing time for my heart to sing with joy as
I place myself in the driver's seat of the rest of my life and carefully direct
My conscious mind toward safely making my way to
Pick up where I left off with Ravi after our holiday dinner, last night
So, in the same vein that personal growth deems
Some aspects of life to progress and change while
Oothers stay the same here's to hoping that
You can feel my heart wishing yours
A happy and healthy New Year, knowing that
Your friend, Annie, will dive more deeply into today's insight when
The sun comes out, tomorrow ...
Why? Because, intuitive thought is suggesting that
Though today's train of thought feels like
It's pulled into the station, I'll awaken, tomorrow
To find that a portion of the baggage, which I've
Just unloaded, has not yet been unpacked—And
You know me—my conscious mind is a hungry hunter until
The eye of the tiger and I see eye to eye :)
PS—If The Eleventh Commandment seems to embody Quaker components
That's because GOD, who created all living things
Speaks in
Don't mistake a passive person of one, like me, whose
Passions, though well practiced at restraint, are known to
Run as deep as a river, which, upon traversing through the rapids
Runs so clear and peaceful as to create safe passage for
An able swimmer to float to shore, free of inner conflict, at last ...
PSS—If there's a worthy addendum to THE TEN COMMANDMENTS—
Especially an addendum that may inspire folks to
Pay more mind to the first ten—then might there not be more?
I mean eleven is an 'odd' number with which to end—right? ;)
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