1319 BOUNCE FROM FEELING FUNKY TO BLISSFUL IN RECORD TIME

2015
REVISED
Often times, my innermost reactions surprise no one as much as me
Since Mother's Day weekend proved relaxing, loving and rib-tickling funny
I kept wondering why my mind and spirit bounced from blissful to funky but
We were so busy with family, day after day, that insight into why
My emotions felt jumbled did not hit home until
Hindsight offered me this growing sense of clarity, today:
I have need to adjust to change, all over the place
My mother and father were sadly missed, and
I felt torn when Barry and Marie and their munchkins
Expressed how much our presence was missed on the coast just as
We missed embracing their presence with
The rest of our family in the desert, and
As each insight ignited the next, I identified this fact:
My think tank has been working, non stop, to adjust to
A host of mind sets, which prove to be in transition
And if you need additional examples of
Mind sets, which are currently processing through confusion while
My conscious mind absorbs reason for changes that prove necessary if
My spirit is to thrive until metamorphosis feels complete, well ...
First off, it's obvious that home base is transitioning from
Partying at our house to celebrating an expansive sense of
Togetherness at Steven's, just as, years ago
My parents had graciously passed the hat of holiday host to me
Secondly, for several decades, my family had
Pampered my wishes on my birthday and Mother's Day
However, this was Celina's first Mother's Day and
Rightfully as well as heartfully, she and Steven brought
Both families together to celebrate the happiness with which
Ravi's presence has enriched all of our lives ...
And though that change proves well and good and timely ...
Our closest friends, with whom we've shared holidays for decades
Chose to spend a quiet day at home ...
And furthermore, before I could gain insight into reasons why
My underlying sense of funkiness felt need to
Express itself clearly to me, a growing sense of
Objectivity, based in logic, had to identify which
Of my old mindsets had need to adjust to changes that
I'd not have freely chosen had my thoughts failed to
Embrace an expansive sense of needs, which differed from my own ...
And at the same time as my conscious sense of awareness
Feels disoriented while 'old' brain patterns work
Day by day, to adapt to adjustments, concerning
Family traditions undergoing transition (which never ceases)
Mega changes in eyesight, resultant from the implantation of
Brand new, multi focal lenses during cataract surgeries, have
Catalyzed my brain to create new pathways for
Neurons to travel in order to accommodate for this fact:
Though my far vision corrected, spontaneously
I've been cautioned to expect my near vision (reading) and
Medium vision (computer) to remain fuzzy for weeks, and
During this period of transition, lack of clarity creates
Sensations of disorientation while my brain strains to
Adapt to the profound nature of these changes in eyesight until
The completion of new pathways recreates
A brand new sense of circuicy, connecting
My new lenses with my sense of clarity ... And
How amazing it is to think that, having worn glasses for
More than five decades, I may never need them, again!
So—having expressed several reasons, which
Have compelled my brain to work, overtime
I'm sure you can imagine these transitions demanding
A self disciplined sense of patience, especially when
Each of these age-related changes highlights this fact:
My generation is nearing 'the changing of the guard'
And thus does today's string of insights into my funkiness
Offer me a growing sense of clarity into one of life's
Harshest realities, concerning my mortality:
With one aunt left, representing an entire generation of
Family leadership that has passed from this life to the next
The subconscious portion of my think tank has been
Percolating over the emergence of this deeper truth, which
Has been filtering naturally, though slowly and disconcertingly
From my subconscious into my conscious awareness, ever since
My father was laid to rest—and with my mother's passing, last year
Reality has been suggesting that the time is getting ripe for
My generation to pass the baton of leadership with a
Deeper sense of graciousness to the younger generation (whom
We've raised from infancy to adulthood) than had been possible for
The generation preceding our own to pass the same baton to us, and
Here is why that's true:
Upon keying into objective reflection, clarity suggests that
Each generation absorbs a deeper sense of insight into
The personal challenges that arise as each of us faces
Time-sensitive changes, which prove classic, inevitable and necessary as
The aging process advances more quickly upon us than can be believed
And having tossed my growing awareness of that deeper truth into the air
Three profoundly prophetic statements emerge from my memory bank, yet again:
You're just like your mother!
You're just like your father!
Or, having gained insight into painful experiences that you and I
Do not want to repeat, we can choose to do the mindful work that
Proves necessary if each of us hopes to consciously grow into
The person whom we mistakenly believe ourselves to be!

In order to grow to be the best possible version of ourselves
We must lead ourselves, step by step, forward on the path where
Personal growth is ours, throughout every stage of life ... Because
In lieu of self discovery as we age, we'll lead ourselves
Ever more deeply into life's dark, scary maze where
Confusion, based in denial and disorientation, reign supreme
And so, in order to make gains in clarity as we advance
Through each stage of life, each adult is charged with
Choosing to reflect more deeply than ever before over
Negatively focused traits and disillusioned mind sets adopted from
 Our parents' generation, which prove in need of
Revision or expansion if we hope to spare
Ourselves and our offspring from repeating
The same frustrations, which find us
Spending time and hard earned dollars in the offices of
Therapists, professionally trained to coax us to
Grow so strongly self aware as to empower our conscious minds to
Muster the courage to travel back to painfully troubling times where
Upon pulling insight-driven trains of thought into
One station after another, we gain insight into
Our need to unpack painful misperceptions, concerning
Ourselves and each other, which have been
Carried forward in the form of baggage so heavy as to
Burden our spirits with shouldering
Undeserved guilt until strings of insight into these misperceptions
Ignite a sense of clarity that sweeps
The heavy weight of undeserved guilt clear out of our heads!
I mean, for sound reason, I named myself Annie, not Atlas!  Right?
(Can you guess how Annie came to be my number one choice?)

As insight into each mind set, which proves in need of
Transitioning toward change for the better, emerges from
Subconscious pockets where unidentified fear and
Unmet needs hide from conscious awareness
A profound sense of clarity, concerning my need to
Grow toward accepting the inherent complexities, which
Prove consistent with this next stage of life, will coalesce, and
Upon accepting this mission to call upon personal strengths
Such as humility, courage and resilience, repeatedly, I hope to
Grow so wise as to accept the ravages of the aging process with
Good humor, dignity and grace, most especially
When the reality of my growing sense of vulnerability
Becomes ever more transparent to me
And with appreciation for the fact that
My processor has worked, successfully to identify
Absorb and understand the depths of inner conflict, which
Saw my spirit swinging, back and forth, between
Feeling blessed and feeling funky throughout the entirety of
This Mother's Day weekend, I'm relieved to know that
Upon arising, this morning, my think tank has been stringing
Each of these insights together, similarly to the way that
Ravi's nimble young mind will soon concentrate on
Stringing, together colorful beads—
And as my strong connection to common sense suggests that
Today's string of insights presents my think tank with a lot to absorb—
Here's what I'll choose to do, this afternoon, after accompanying Will to
His follow up appointment with his radiation oncologist—
I'll offer my brain a quiet retreat in which to relax and
Process through this jumble of emotional reactions, on its own, and
Based in my history, I feel confident that each mind set, which
Feels set in stone, will, over time, revise or expand on its own ...
And once my 'old' brain stops rebelling against inevitable changes that
I'd not have freely chosen as my own
A positively focused attitude, which places its trust in
My innate intelligence to take good care of me as a whole
Will encourage my brain to engage with intuitive thought that
Inspires my conscious mind to seek insight into
How best to transition into the self-improved person I
Plan to be once my 'old' comfort zones
Which also feel set in stone, expand, naturally, all in good time
And since we are, once again, speaking of change for the better
Guess what began to transition through change as soon as
My well-practiced sense of intuitive thought began to
Gather strings of insight, which emerged from deep within
Subconscious pockets of my mind while I brainstormed through
Inner conflict, last night, with Will?
Clarity of thought revealed sound reason for
Each emotional reaction, which had filtered
Funkiness in with happiness until a painful sense of
Confusion, concerning grief, based in irretrievable loss
Gained time to transition, step by step, through
Today's pensive revelations, which have opened my mind to
Absorb a deepened sense of comprehension into
The complexity of the interactive parts of my brain, which
Having received a tune up, are programmed by
Mother Nature to function, together, as a well oiled whole
And as today's sense of wholeness makes its way
Toward re-balancing emotion with logic
Guess whose spirit is beginning to feel sound reason to
Rebound, lift and delight in a sunlit smile, which feels as
Natural and spontaneous as when Ravi surprised
Her Gramma by planting raspberries on my cheek!
As soon as Steven sends that funny photo to me, I'll share it with you
As for now, here's another snapshot of a moment in time, which
Offered my spirit reason to bounce from feeling
Subconsciously funky to sheer bliss in record time :)

PS
In answer to yesterday's question:  'Who said this?'
I'd reply:  Yoda, Yoda, Yoda ... who, being eons older than Father Time
Has watched his ears grow so big
(All the better to listen for insight into clarity, my dear)
And just like Yoda, who flies down in time of need on
A saber of light, we, too, will watch our bodies shrink while
Our ears enlarge as we age in hopes of redirecting our attention away from
Defensive reactiveness, which turns mind sets to stone, in favor of
Growing ever more aware of our need to absorb trains of thought that highlight
Insight into prideful attitudes, which block our sense of clarity from
Peeling away at our many-layered, defensive walls ... And as
Insight shines it's spotlight on defensiveness, guess what happens, over time?
As each layer of defensiveness comes down, the narrow boundaries of
Our comfort zones expand so naturally as to free us to identify and express
Our deepest fears and innermost, unmet needs, without
Inner conflict running interference with existential decisiveness, at last!
(BTW, stats report that readership numbers continue to bounce back :)