2015
Unlike our first daunting adventure into this baby worshipping emporium
Yesterday saw Will, Celina, Steven and yours truly traipsing, happily, through
Babies R Us, tossing this necessity and that fancy into our carts, like pros
Where was Ravi, who is nearing six month old?
Celina's mom had taken her precious little grand daughter to
Enliven the spirit of Ravi's Great-Grandma, and thus
In the absence of defensiveness, all around
Does each one's heart feel free to nurture the next
After our visit to Babies R US, we four stopped for a late brunch, where
We nourished our bodies and spirits while laughing about this and that
Then, upon retrieving Ravi, whose sunny, funny little personality
Steals hearts, left and right, Celina felt free to go home to
Finish whatever she felt compelled to get done while
Ravi came home to play with me while
Two basketball junkies, namely Will and Steven—who'd had
The foresight to DVR the game they'd wanted to see—
Sat, side by side, on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, suggestive of
The fact that all six adults had brainstormed, simply, loosely, flexibly and
Thus successfully toward considering everyone's needs
We all spent Sunday doing exactly what each of us pleased
And though you might surmise that generosity of spirit
Provided each one with a day that proved idyllic, please
Think again, because, I have no clue what went on in
The inner most depths of everyone's minds, and
Here is why that includes my mind, as well:
While my heart delighted in our shopping spree with
Will, Steven and Celina, followed by capping my pleasure while
Playing with our winsome, little Ravi ...
My underlying sensation of funkiness remained persistently present ...
On the other hand, I'm relieved to say that by yesterday's dawning
I'd gained insight into the mysterious nature of
Those funky feelings, which, upon filtering through my defensive wall
Have continued to complicate the present state of happiness that
I had brainstormed my way toward achieving for more than a decade—
And as you see—each time I gain insight into an underlying sense of
Funkiness by working to clarify a host of mixed emotions, which
Having been trapped within my subconscious, must
Filter, little by little, into my conscious mind before
My brain, functioning as a whole, can simplify
The emotional complexity that results whenever
Conflicting needs arise and fight for space within our minds as
Happens when the traditions of two families face need to
Transition toward change for the better before a gracious sense of
Interconnection can develop, successfully, over time, and
In keeping with the fact that my conscious mind has worked to
Develop the ability to quest toward insight into
Simplifying complex situations that contradict my sense of peace
I have also developed 'an awareness' of those times when
An unnamed 'sense of readiness' is coursing through my body as though
The sum of my strengths have had need to fortify themselves while
Every part of me feels a sense of inner pressure building up as though
Intuition is empowering my brain to give birth to
Several insight-laden revelations in a similar manner as
Befits a woman, who is about to labor with heightening degrees of
Intensity toward giving birth to multiple infants, all at once ...
And as that's exactly what took place inside me, ever since
Mother's Day weekend! and as each of these insight-driven epiphanies
Proves profoundly personal, I finally understand why my conscious mind
Has felt need of private nesting time in which to more fully absorb
The raw sting of this string of insights, which poured out of my mouth and
Into Will's compassionate ear on a river of tears on Saturday night before
We arose to enjoy our shopping spree with Celina and Steven on Sunday
And though each insight that ultimately revealed itself to me has been written
I've not felt free to publish those posts for this reason—
As this string of insights into deeper truth proves deeply personal in nature
My conscious mind needs time to absorb each one, and
Once absorption of raw emotion has taken place, my comfort zone will
Expand so naturally as to free me to expose these posts for public consumption
And now, having fully expressed my reasoning to you, I am requesting
Your patience while my ever deepening sense of self awareness continues to
Process through this achy stage of transition, which proves necessary before
My conscious mind's ability to harvest this brand new crop of insights, concerning
The profound nature of my sudden growth spurt—which is sure to
Enrich my sense of balance in untold ways—has had time to feel thoroughly mined ...
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