1316 SMART IS ONE THING, ACRRUING WISDOM IS ANOTHER

2015
This week has seen readership plummet, and though I understand why numbers are declining, here's hoping you'll continue to bear with me without growing irritated or listless when an enhancement of a portion of Wednesday's lengthy train of thought requests your patience, yet again, for this reason:  Though my preference is to get on with penning a series of true stories, which ended happily once insight into change for the better considered needs, all around—wisdom, garnered through experience, cautions me to work at simplify the detailed account of my innermost thoughts until the complexity of our emotional reactions, which cause loving hearts to separate, unnecessarily, grows clear.

I feel compelled to clarify the role that insight plays in resolving inner conflict, based in this hope:  If I can express why insight reveals subconscious fears that prohibit me from achieving heartfelt goals then perhaps my AHA! moments will inspire you to seek insight into self discovery, too.

Once insight identifies a self defeating attitude that your defense system adopted in the aftermath of an experience, which deemed you guilty of wrong-doing during childhood, a heavy weight, which has unknowingly burdened your conscious mind, may lift so spontaneously as to brighten your spirit as naturally as does mine each time the astounding nature of an AHA! moment shifts the weight of undeserved guilt, which you've shouldered, unnecessarily, throughout every stage of life, onto the shoulders of the person who, in truth, did wrong to you.  Whew!

 Once your subconscious feels free of undeserved guilt, the darkened view you had of yourself lightens so spontaneously that all sense of inner conflict, which complicated your decision making process, resolves so logically as to release a simple solution, which had been hidden within the confounded state of your conscious mind, all along—and before we go on, *it's important to note that the nature of this subconscious self-perception, which has burdened you since childhood, may not be nearly as dark as proved true of mine, suggesting that with insight brightening your awareness, you may regain a lightness of being without experiencing the same degree of emotional pain that my defense system had buried behind my wall of denial when I was three.

If, on the other hand, sensations of self recrimination remain unprocessed by your adult intelligence, indefinitely, a self defeatist attitude will block your conscious mind from recognizing those times when undeserved guilt, filtering from your subconscious into your conscious mind, exacerbates the sense of conflict you feel each time your personal needs clash with the needs of your loved ones—today.  And as long as this sense of unresolved inner conflict remains in its unprocessed state, your intelligence will feel blocked from identifying the persistent nature of self-recrimination, which complicates your decision-making process until insight into clarity offers you clearance to feel wholly free to embrace a heartfelt need that proves to be yours and yours alone.

Over these past forty years, I've belonged to multiple book clubs, and unlike my friends, who discuss character development in novels without referencing changes in personal growth, which prove necessary to improving certain aspects of their own lives, I find myself highlighting traits, which led the author's characters toward self defeat, repeatedly, in hopes of reflecting over traits in need of personal growth within myself.

When I first felt need to engage in therapy, close to forty years ago, I had no clue that my self image had suffered a crucial blow when I was three.  Each time you witness the self-investigative nature of my mind working to simplify complexity of thought —concerning the classic ways that denial blocks conscious awareness from recognizing subconscious guilt, incurred undeservedly—your think tank may absorb an ever deepening awareness of the ways that denial of clashing emotional reactions undermines the clarity of your decision-making process, as well. And with thoughts of you and I, working to resolve inner conflict when our needs conflict with that which we believe our loved ones need of us, I'm respectfully requesting that you continue to accompany me as we labor to simplify complex trains of thought with this hope in mind:  As your think tank and mine work to gain a greater sense of insight into undeserved guilt, your sense of clarity and mine (concerning which problems are not ours to solve) will simply our decision-making process, immeasurably.

Since tomorrow is Mother's Day—we'll most likely reconvene on Monday, which offers our minds time to absorb that which intuition compelled me to write, today.  As for now, David's flown in to celebrate this holiday weekend with us, and Steven just rang the bell with that delicious little cup cake, whose sweet nature can't help but offer our spirits reason to bask in the pleasure of laughter—and if you choose not to read Monday's post, please feel reassured to know that the lighter side of my mind is sure to resume story-telling, before too long.  And here's why I know that to be true:  I'm getting as sick of this deep degree of introspective thought as are you.  I mean, seriously—it takes more time and mental energy than can be imagined to describe clashing emotional reactions, which colliding head on, complicate my decision-making process until strings of insight serve to simplify complex trains of thought..  And I have a feeling that my brain is closing in on saying—ENOUGH ALREADY!

Sooo, if I don't show up, tomorrow, please imagine this doting gramma tickling Ravi's round little tummy while wishing mothers, grandmas and great grandma's, everywhere, a happy Mother's Day, filled with lots of love and sweet surprises!