1017 TWINKLE TWINKLE—REVISITED 11

(11)

        I've got an idea.  Let's get into the back seat of my parents car, so we can talk while observing my mom and dad approaching that fork in the road where the private thoughts of two people, sitting side by side, begin to drive in opposite directions.

As Dad believes he's the only one in the driver's seat while Mom is steering in a different direction, let's review one Rule of the Road in hopes that my parents reach their destination without colliding, head on:

        Since head on collisions occur during times of conflict, common sense suggests that we learn to recognize defense mechanisms that turn open highways into traffic jams.

With that said, let’s continue to ride in my parents' car on that specific Saturday afternoon, in November of 1946, when my mother’s undisclosed thoughts have decided that her driving instructor will most certainly NOT be my dad.  As you can see (though Dad cannot), Jennie is aware that her thoughts are not in line with Jack’s.  This suggests Jennie is engaging in a private discussion with herself while Jack (who is famous for reading only surface reactions) remains unaware that his sweetheart's mind is chugging down a different track.

       In the absence of depth perception Jack, a straightforward kind of guy, misses this fact:  Silence is not necessarily synonymous with agreement. Though my father mistakenly believes both minds are riding in tandem, you and I know that a wide spectrum of defensive reactions may layer up behind a genial smile.  And in this case, Jennie’s quiet state of reflection is synonymous with discretion.

      Had Shakespeare's head popped up on the back seat, between us, here's how the bard might have ended the first line of this famous quote:

If all the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players then a straightforward person may be blind to the state of ambiguity within a quiet listener’s mind

     Each time we keep the peace by way of silent omission, a conversation may impregnate with misunderstanding.  If, over time, the inner workings of one person's mind is quietly stuffing frustration while the other feels everything's okay-dokey then a relationship, deeply valued by both, may grow ever so troubled, over time, as in:  Ah—what tangled webs we mortals weave when we're blind to deceiving ourselves.

As opposites attract, every relationship is a power struggle waiting to happen (Will and I were married over twenty years when the subtle nature of our power struggle picked up steam) …