Thursday, January 30, 2014

916 NGUOUY Part 80 COMFORTING SUPPORT

September 17, 2013
I don't remember who calls Mom with the disappointing news.  Though he's holding his own, I know it's not Will, and having no clue as to what's deviling me, I can barely talk …
I think that baton may have been passed to ... Steven

Our phone rings, and as one change leads to another, it's Barry, who conveys his turn to struggle with inner conflict …

Hi Mom, hi Dad
When I heard you need to stay home, I felt torn between going to Gram's party and flying to be with you.

As Will and I know how difficult resolving inner conflict tends to be, our response is brief:  We know how torn you must feel.  Hopefully, whatever you decide will offer you a greater sense of peace …

Okay, I'll call when I know …

(Upon hanging up the phone, my mind leaps back over the past eight weeks, and I picture myself sitting in Dr. B's exam room next to Will, suggesting, emphatically, that we not delay his surgery two additional weeks in order to attend Mom's party.  Though I defer to Will, who decides otherwise, misgivings continue to churn inside my mind …)

The next day, we hear from Barry, again.
I called Grandma and told her I need to be with you.  You see, here's the thing:  If I go to her party, I'll fly home (to the coast) on Sunday and fly to you on Monday.  Dad's surgery is Tuesday, and I need to fly home on Wednesday, because of a major business meeting that can't be delayed.  That leaves very little time for us to be together.  David plans to stay after the surgery, and Steven lives only ten minutes away.  If I fly in this Friday, we'll spend four days together before Dad's surgery.  I explained my reasoning to Grandma and told her I'd fly in to celebrate, one-on-one, when life calms down.

Having listened to Barry's explanation, we touch on the fact that inner conflict makes us wish to divide ourselves in half, and following that, Will and I reveal how much we're looking forward to Barry's weekend with us.

Once Barry arrives,  it's obvious that his choice to be with us means more than words can say, because spontaneous hugging circles round, every day.  At life's most trying times, the comforting presence of those we love can be enough to ease the swirl of emotional turbulence that throws trains of logical thought off track …

On Saturday, Barry's girlfriend, Marie, flies in.  When the guys go out to pick up dinner, I hold Marie close while expressing how much her loving support means, not just to Barry but to Will and me—and in response, her big, brown eyes tear up … bringing this insight to mind, once again:  At times when heartfelt connection runs so deep as to penetrate defensive walls, Mother Nature invented tears to release emotion that words can't convey …

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