As the calendar flipped from August to September
A shift in my mindset took place
As this shift breathed life into a degree of fear
Deeper than I'd ever experienced before
I had need to tunnel toward insight, because
The depth of my fear was tying my strengths
Into such tense, tight, little knots that
My think tank couldn't process clearly enough to
Save me from scaring myself half to death
And as this unexpected change for the worse had
Raised its head as though all on its own
I knew, without a doubt that I had to
Lead myself toward understanding
Whatever was causing such torment inside my mind
Rendering me unable to function, at all ...
Traditionally, September conjures up
Thoughts of lighting candles, sipping sweet wine
Round challahs, sweetened with raisins
Slicing apples to dip in honey
All symbolizing the start to a sweet new year
Then we look forward to the savory aroma of
Chicken soup in which
Light as air matzoh balls melt in our mouths
Followed by mini meatballs or chopped liver, and
By the time tender slices of brisket and gravy in which
Little, red, potatoes have been roasted to perfection
Are carried to the table, dressed in holiday finery
Our hunger is more than satiated …
Demonstrating our respect for this fact:
September is our time to prepare
A feast whereby family and friends gather together
In our home to honor our high holy days' approach
At this point in our lives, most of our friends
Attend synagogue four times each year:
On the eve of and the first day of Rosh Hashanah and
On the eve of and day of Yom Kippur
Though you'd expect our first holy day to focus on repentance and
The second to focus upon renewal, the opposite is true
You see, renewal is about feasting while
Repentence is about fasting
And perhaps God knew that he'd better feed us well before
Asking us to fast while repenting over shortcomings, past :)
At any rate, something snapped inside my mind during the first
Rosh Hashanah service, and that something proved to be
My thought processor's connection to my inner strengths
If you want to know how quickly my attachment to logic snapped
Well, stop reading for a second and snap your fingers in the air
Because that's how fast subconscious fear grabbed hold of my mind
Catalyzing anxiety to spike … and when anxiety spikes
Science has proven that the logical portion of
Our thought processors shut down and
Rather than brainstorming toward simple plans that
Consider needs all around, all we are left with is
One of these three choices:
Fight, flee or freeze
So anyway, it's the first day of Rosh Hashanah, and
We've reached the part of the service where
The rabbi is leading the congregation
In our traditional prayer for healing loved ones who are
Seriously ill or otherwise ailing when
Suddenly, it dawns on me that he is talking about Will
And just as quickly as I'd flipped the calendar from
August to September—
Which is when Will's surgery is scheduled—
My spirit slips down a slippery slope and
My processor tumbles after, and upon reaching bottom
Anxiety knocks my think tank out of commission …
And thus does the agile side of my mind, which prides itself in seeking
Simple solutions to complex problems, find itself
Locked inside a deep freeze with no clue as to where
The missing key to insight might be found
To my good fortune, I am aware that
Modern psychology has gained insight into this fact:
Time does not heal all wounds
Time ties wounds into hard little knots that
Hide out for years within subconscious pockets of the mind
These hard knots are then sealed behind defensive walls
Which grow steeper and deeper, year after year
And that's why the human spirit must muster
The humility and courage to peel away at
These many layered walls before the wicks of these
Deeply wounded, hard knots of subconscious fear are re-ignited
Because once subconscious fear re-ignites unhealed wounds
Everyone needs to run for cover before emotional fireworks explode
And as I've created the line of control to
Thwart that reaction from burning my think tank to a crisp
Intuition suggests that I need to crack through this wall, behind which
The secret to my salvation from panic is locked, in hopes that insight into
Logical thought will rise to the surface of conscious awareness
And quell anxiety from spiking so high that
My mind can't find its way out of a paper bag …
A shift in my mindset took place
As this shift breathed life into a degree of fear
Deeper than I'd ever experienced before
I had need to tunnel toward insight, because
The depth of my fear was tying my strengths
Into such tense, tight, little knots that
My think tank couldn't process clearly enough to
Save me from scaring myself half to death
And as this unexpected change for the worse had
Raised its head as though all on its own
I knew, without a doubt that I had to
Lead myself toward understanding
Whatever was causing such torment inside my mind
Rendering me unable to function, at all ...
Traditionally, September conjures up
Thoughts of lighting candles, sipping sweet wine
Round challahs, sweetened with raisins
Slicing apples to dip in honey
All symbolizing the start to a sweet new year
Then we look forward to the savory aroma of
Chicken soup in which
Light as air matzoh balls melt in our mouths
Followed by mini meatballs or chopped liver, and
By the time tender slices of brisket and gravy in which
Little, red, potatoes have been roasted to perfection
Are carried to the table, dressed in holiday finery
Our hunger is more than satiated …
Demonstrating our respect for this fact:
September is our time to prepare
A feast whereby family and friends gather together
In our home to honor our high holy days' approach
At this point in our lives, most of our friends
Attend synagogue four times each year:
On the eve of and the first day of Rosh Hashanah and
On the eve of and day of Yom Kippur
Though you'd expect our first holy day to focus on repentance and
The second to focus upon renewal, the opposite is true
You see, renewal is about feasting while
Repentence is about fasting
And perhaps God knew that he'd better feed us well before
Asking us to fast while repenting over shortcomings, past :)
At any rate, something snapped inside my mind during the first
Rosh Hashanah service, and that something proved to be
My thought processor's connection to my inner strengths
If you want to know how quickly my attachment to logic snapped
Well, stop reading for a second and snap your fingers in the air
Because that's how fast subconscious fear grabbed hold of my mind
Catalyzing anxiety to spike … and when anxiety spikes
Science has proven that the logical portion of
Our thought processors shut down and
Rather than brainstorming toward simple plans that
Consider needs all around, all we are left with is
One of these three choices:
Fight, flee or freeze
So anyway, it's the first day of Rosh Hashanah, and
We've reached the part of the service where
The rabbi is leading the congregation
In our traditional prayer for healing loved ones who are
Seriously ill or otherwise ailing when
Suddenly, it dawns on me that he is talking about Will
And just as quickly as I'd flipped the calendar from
August to September—
Which is when Will's surgery is scheduled—
My spirit slips down a slippery slope and
My processor tumbles after, and upon reaching bottom
Anxiety knocks my think tank out of commission …
And thus does the agile side of my mind, which prides itself in seeking
Simple solutions to complex problems, find itself
Locked inside a deep freeze with no clue as to where
The missing key to insight might be found
To my good fortune, I am aware that
Modern psychology has gained insight into this fact:
Time does not heal all wounds
Time ties wounds into hard little knots that
Hide out for years within subconscious pockets of the mind
These hard knots are then sealed behind defensive walls
Which grow steeper and deeper, year after year
And that's why the human spirit must muster
The humility and courage to peel away at
These many layered walls before the wicks of these
Deeply wounded, hard knots of subconscious fear are re-ignited
Because once subconscious fear re-ignites unhealed wounds
Everyone needs to run for cover before emotional fireworks explode
And as I've created the line of control to
Thwart that reaction from burning my think tank to a crisp
Intuition suggests that I need to crack through this wall, behind which
The secret to my salvation from panic is locked, in hopes that insight into
Logical thought will rise to the surface of conscious awareness
And quell anxiety from spiking so high that
My mind can't find its way out of a paper bag …
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