September 2013
I awaken on Sunday morning, disheartened to find myself feeling as petrified as before Margie and I had spoken, heart to heart, yesterday. I'm deeply disappointed in myself until Margie sets me straight: Annie, this is when you'd tell me to be kind to myself. As my friend's words ring true, I smile and invite her to move in with us. Returning my smile, Margie reassures me that if I call, she'll fly in and remind me to stop being so hard on myself. Then she goes on to say: If our roles had been switched here's what you would say to me: During times of personal crises, when your vulnerability is fully exposed, that's when your friends' compassion matters most. Though you feel the need to be there for your Mom, if you can't get on a plane and fly across the country and celebrate with everyone from near and far, those who really know you will understand and those who don't shouldn't matter.
How did I answer?
But I want to be there for my mom ...
Margie's answer to that?
Hopefully, your mom will be the first to understand ...
While Will takes Margie and Mike out to brunch, I feel myself hunkering down, as though searching deep within for what? I have no clue. But from that time until four weeks later when the detail slipped through the crack into my conscious mind, I have more faith in myself than before I saw myself through the eyes of this beloved friend, who, in years passed, had instinctively called upon me during her most trying times ...
Sunday, January 26, 2014
As I'd spent the past five days in the frigid Midwest, my time for writing will be short, today, because I'm planning to be with Will, who looks exhausted. Upon setting eyes on him at the airport, yesterday, I returned his welcoming smile and after sharing a warm hug, I said, Will, you look so tired. And thin.
When Will replied: I lost five pounds, I exclaimed: Five pounds? I've only been gone five days!
It's stress from going through years of patients's files. I have to be out of the office by Jan. 31st. So now that my files are separated from the other docs and have been boxed, I need to rent a storage unit, get them moved and save them for seven years.
Though Will has been working at this task of closing his surgical practice for the past six weeks, the strain of this change, coupled with the stress that accompanies cancer is more exhausting than he'd expected ...
Then Will asked, how is Elliot enjoying his new home?
Elliot is a college friend of ours; one of The Guys' ... He recently moved from the desert back to the Midwest to be near family. What a time to move from 70 degrees to wind chill factors below zero! Anyway, his home is near Mom's rehab facility, and I'd accepted his invitation to stay with him.
Will, I said in response, I think you're changing the subject from your weight loss to Elliot, because you already know how he is, since you and I spoke, every night. I'm worried about you ...
It's just stress, Annie. Nothing more.
Just stress? Will, stress can be more than enough to ... Are you sleeping?
Not very well.
Not eating. Not sleeping. Are you being kind to yourself?
Will gets my drift and smiles. Now that you're home, I feel better, already.
Last night, Will enjoyed dinner with our friends ...
And slept peaceably by my side.
This strong man, who courageously opened people up with the confidence that they'd lead healthier lives after placing their trust in his professional expertise, slept peacefully, because I was home ...
Suggesting, once again, that offering each other the power of compassionate, loving support during stressful times of change proves to be an amazingly soothing balm, all around ... And most of the time, all we need do to take good care of loved ones is to hold their hearts within our own ...
I awaken on Sunday morning, disheartened to find myself feeling as petrified as before Margie and I had spoken, heart to heart, yesterday. I'm deeply disappointed in myself until Margie sets me straight: Annie, this is when you'd tell me to be kind to myself. As my friend's words ring true, I smile and invite her to move in with us. Returning my smile, Margie reassures me that if I call, she'll fly in and remind me to stop being so hard on myself. Then she goes on to say: If our roles had been switched here's what you would say to me: During times of personal crises, when your vulnerability is fully exposed, that's when your friends' compassion matters most. Though you feel the need to be there for your Mom, if you can't get on a plane and fly across the country and celebrate with everyone from near and far, those who really know you will understand and those who don't shouldn't matter.
How did I answer?
But I want to be there for my mom ...
Margie's answer to that?
Hopefully, your mom will be the first to understand ...
While Will takes Margie and Mike out to brunch, I feel myself hunkering down, as though searching deep within for what? I have no clue. But from that time until four weeks later when the detail slipped through the crack into my conscious mind, I have more faith in myself than before I saw myself through the eyes of this beloved friend, who, in years passed, had instinctively called upon me during her most trying times ...
Sunday, January 26, 2014
As I'd spent the past five days in the frigid Midwest, my time for writing will be short, today, because I'm planning to be with Will, who looks exhausted. Upon setting eyes on him at the airport, yesterday, I returned his welcoming smile and after sharing a warm hug, I said, Will, you look so tired. And thin.
When Will replied: I lost five pounds, I exclaimed: Five pounds? I've only been gone five days!
It's stress from going through years of patients's files. I have to be out of the office by Jan. 31st. So now that my files are separated from the other docs and have been boxed, I need to rent a storage unit, get them moved and save them for seven years.
Though Will has been working at this task of closing his surgical practice for the past six weeks, the strain of this change, coupled with the stress that accompanies cancer is more exhausting than he'd expected ...
Then Will asked, how is Elliot enjoying his new home?
Elliot is a college friend of ours; one of The Guys' ... He recently moved from the desert back to the Midwest to be near family. What a time to move from 70 degrees to wind chill factors below zero! Anyway, his home is near Mom's rehab facility, and I'd accepted his invitation to stay with him.
Will, I said in response, I think you're changing the subject from your weight loss to Elliot, because you already know how he is, since you and I spoke, every night. I'm worried about you ...
It's just stress, Annie. Nothing more.
Just stress? Will, stress can be more than enough to ... Are you sleeping?
Not very well.
Not eating. Not sleeping. Are you being kind to yourself?
Will gets my drift and smiles. Now that you're home, I feel better, already.
Last night, Will enjoyed dinner with our friends ...
And slept peaceably by my side.
This strong man, who courageously opened people up with the confidence that they'd lead healthier lives after placing their trust in his professional expertise, slept peacefully, because I was home ...
Suggesting, once again, that offering each other the power of compassionate, loving support during stressful times of change proves to be an amazingly soothing balm, all around ... And most of the time, all we need do to take good care of loved ones is to hold their hearts within our own ...
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