485 WHY DO SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIPS DEAD END?

When much that you'd believed to be true

Turns upside down

And a vital aspect of your life

Grows too confounding to comprehend

It’s time to turn your mind into a time machine

Which travels back into yesteryear

In hopes of withdrawing painfully suppressed details

From your memory bank

Did you know that your memory bank

Is divided into three parts?

Whereas conscious memories may be retrieved intact

Subconscious memories are forgot

And …

That leaves door number three …

Behind door number three you'll find

Memories revised by your ego—to save face

While you and I travel back and forth

Along the time line of my life

We’ll continue to connect the dots

Until bigger pictures clarify

And with clarity, we’ll continue to see

Which of my perceptions had been on target

And which I’d mistakenly believed to be true

Until misperception and fact parted ways

If asked why Mother Nature divides

Our memory banks into three compartments

I’d say—In truth—

That question needs deeper consideration

As for now suffice to say

That Mother Nature distorts some memories

While storing others beyond conscious recall

When THE TRUTH proves too painful to confront with accuracy

Let's say tragedy had once struck your family so hard

That for reasons, which remained too complex to process

Care-taking roles in your home reversed

But no one perceived that to be true—especially you

Let's say that at an early age

You'd acquired a care-giving sense of responsibility

For any spirit, suffering

A *multi-dimensional, irretrievable loss

(These stories have yet to be told.)

  

Let's say if one acquires an instinct

To help all in dire need of sustenance

Then a person, who adopts a 'Prince/Princess Charming' personality trait

May feel magnetically pulled toward saving anyone in distress

Let's say that life feels copasetic (in excellent order)

To both Generous Giver and Needy Receiver

As long as the energy source of The Giver

Doth not drain dry

When one, who has developed a habit-ual need to give

Connects with one in dire need of sustenance

The symbiotic nature of opposites attracting

Will continue to thrive—only as long as ...

The pitcher

And half empty cup

Doth not empty out

Simultaneously

Each time a symbiotic relationship shapes up

The energy source, sustaining the good health

Of both spirits, must feel mutually enriching

For this reason:

Over a lifetime

Changes are bound to cycle round

Which is why the-give-and-take nature of a healthy relationship

Develops a sense for when a friend has need to pass the baton and rest up

Why? Because for countless reasons

Even the strongest amongst us

Experience overwhelming bouts of vulnerability

From time to time

If the spirit of the runner

Cannot find a rejuvenating energy source to plug into

Then the symbiotic nature of this relationship

Is bound to crash

Why?  Because:

Symbiotic relationships between humans

Are not meant to thrive on one-way streets—Indefinitely

Sustainable human relationships depend upon cycles

If the receiving spirit springs a leak

Thus growing ever more needy

The life force of the runner may be strained, over long

Unless—the runner's mindset opens to necessary—change

In short the runner's thought processor

Must plug into knowledge concerning self-awareness

So that, upon absorbing insight into self-nourishment

Its life force (spirit) doth not run until the pilot light burns out

And thus, a time may come when giver and receiver

Must exist in separate lanes until each learns how

To self-nurture

Rather than feeding off the needs of each other

With experience, I've come to see that change for the better

May depend upon depleting the energy source of both sides

In this way, both may be forced to grow self-aware

So as not to smother one's own needs beneath another’s

You see, if neither has a clue

Of that which has been in need of change

Then each one's sense of independence

May dwell in Denialand, over long

In short, both giver and receiver

Must trade Denialand for Self-awareness

Or their symbiotic relationship may be doomed

To crash into a dead end once Reality hits, down the road

If one leaves Denialand in the past

And one does not then this friendship may limp along

However, if one blames the other for on-going pain

Then the copacetic nature of their love will wain

If asked:

How doth Wiki define

Three types of symbiotic relationships?

I'd reply:

Mutualism

Both organisms benefit.

(Experience suggests mother and babe)

 


Commensalism

One organism benefits, and the other is not affected in any manner.

(If both remain unaware (blind and deaf) to the fact that unmet needs and numbed emotions are causing the giver to experience subconscious pain, which increases, year after year—it’s only a matter of time before the relationship's copacetic persona will come undone, causing separation to be inevitable.  If, in hopes of foregoing separation, the giver grows aware and speaks up while the receiver remains in blind denial, whomsoever remains caught in denial's web will feel shocked, confused and betrayed.)


Parasitism-One organism benefits the other is harmed.

(The needs of the blind receiver grow so overwhelming as to smother the high-spirited energy source of the newly sighted giver.)

Once this knowledge has been absorbed, it’s plain to see that

One adult cannot be

The sole energy provider

Of another—indefinitely, unless ...

Both agree

To morph into lichen

Which are designed to grow symbiotically—

Resulting in a composite organism.

I don't know about you

But instinct suggests

That to be an unworkable plan for one like me

Who sets a high value on individuality

As an adult, Annie will reap many rewards

From breathing life into the downcast spirits of others …

And thus will this trait prevail in mutually enriching ways …

For a finite number of years

If it be better to give than receive

Then why might I have clarified

'Breathing life into others

For a finite number of years'?

As change is the only constant in life

Misunderstandings take place

Which darken misperceptions until the purity and simplicity
Of love and friendship twist into defensive, murky, tight little knots

As the murky nature of subconscious insecurity
Casts subconscious webs

Open, honest communications transforms into

Innuendo zinging back and forth until ...

A stew of mixed messages offers up bitter herbs

Flowing with negatively focused comments such as:

'Lack of loyalty’

Unloving selfishness’ and ‘emotional fragility'

Thank goodness

My time on Walden Pond has been well spent

Thank goodness I've worked to understand

The nature of each barrage of undeserved guilt trips ...

Thank goodness

I've chosen to tunnel my way out of the murky maze

So that my intelligence felt free to work productively

At deflecting covert insults while absorbing insights

Thank goodness I chose to work to understand why

The subconscious neediness of the insecure

Develops a need to criticize conscientious fact seekers

Each time painful truths come under discussion

Thank goodness I'd worked to understand ...

Defensive ways in which—

Insecure egos revise painful memories

By leaping presto-chango into Denialand

Eventually, as clarity blew defensive smokescreens away

I developed the insight to stay clear of any conflict

Which, upon discussion

Gave me reason to question my sanity—repeatedly!

As I work to unpack my baggage

The unprocessed baggage of others clarifies ...

And guess what happens

When baggage crashes into baggage?

When processed baggage

Crashes into subconscious (unprocessed) baggage

(And we all cart around baggage)

Tension crackles through the air

What kind of tension?

Power struggling tension—

Which drags relationships

Into muddied pits of doom and gloom

Having had sound reason to study the role of denial

I'm grateful for having developed the ability

To refocus my mind toward learning how and why

Defensive reactions force friendships to crash into dead ends

Though it often feels scary to identify symbiotic relationships

A well-balanced friendship cannot sustain

The weight of traveling on a one-way street, forever
With no baton in sight

Therefore common sense suggests

The wisdom of developing healthy friendships

By consciously growing aware of when to offer

Generous dollops of heart-felt compassion and support

As future stories unfold

I believe you may come to agree

That the need for every human spirit to refuel

Is not a new concept at all …

And since each person's spirit is in need of refueling

Every reminder that I choose to write—

To rebalance my spirit in the aftermath of loss

Remains classic, universal, timeless and—priceless

For example, if you and I fail to identify

Our mutual need to disseminate

Skillful communications throughout the world …

Then …

Won’t we quietly give

Some needy, power-hungry nation

Permission to blow up the foundation

Of peaceful co-existence upon which all life depends?

On the other hand, if we work, together

In support of a grass roots movement

Then we may ensure the good health of our world

And thus do I continue to request your support …

In spreading word of my ‘communications’ blog

With others—

Most especially with family and friends

Whom you’d like to keep close at hand …

Gosh!

How fitting it is that this post

Concerning the enrichment

Of 'peaceful coexistence'

In home after home—nation by nation ...

Is being written on the day preceding—

MEMORIAL DAY!!!

Which, by the way

Is proving to be the best Sunday, ever!

Why?

In truth, earlier today, I was in heaven, eating my way

From one sample station at Costco to another

As to why that constituted heaven for me?

Well—today, every sample station offered up

BBQ goodies—galore

In fact, I'll bet it's not too late to head back

To hog heaven for more!

Uh, on second thought

My high school reunion is coming up—

I've gained back those five pounds—Drats!

So, my first thought's not my best thought—again!

Guess I'll make good use of my noodle ...

Take in a movie

And devour popcorn instead

JLater, Annie

PS In truth

I still call Costco

The Price Club

Why?  Old habits die hard

Since acquired traits are habits

It's hard for a world-class pleaser

Of either gender to free one’s sense of peace

From an endless barrage of undeserved guilt trips …

And speaking from personal experience

It is most definitely difficult to free myself

From my unconscious mindsets when

Subconscious neediness of loved ones keeps raining down

Therefore, each time I feel a magnetic pull

To 'save' a dispirited loved one

From diving ever more deeply into—Denialand

Here is what I choose to do—today:

I reread old posts for this reason:

It takes practice to refocus my mind—less upon their distress—

And more toward reviving my spirit, so that I'll not mask my pain
By diving into Denialand as had been my habit in the past

As you may have surmised
I've had reason, over the past few weeks
To work at discarding my persona's mask of denial
In hopes of confronting my pain following a most recent loss

And having revealed
The depth of my pain to—me 
It's time to hook up with my trusted friends

And sign off for today with a hearty—

High Ho Silver—away—off to 'Men In Black 3' we go!