481 MY LIFE, MY FAMILY … YOUR LIFE, YOUR FAMILY

(Today’s post was written with every family in mind ...)

As with books, blogs are written

With different purposes in mind


Some entertain the reader (and writer)


Some offer information


And if good use is made of wit


An author may enrich our minds

By combining both

Though I'd planned to write instructive stories


In an entertaining manner


My plan changed in surprising ways


Because—just as with life—


That which I'd not expected to evolve—did


And many posts seem to pop out of my mind

As though all on their own

Upon reflecting over

My blogging experience, thus far

I’ve come to see, once again, why


This expression rings true, repeatedly:

Man plans and God laughs

You see, as life moves forward

We entertain the notion


That we know what we're seeing ...


What we're doing


What we're feeling
 and

Where we and our loved ones are going—next

When, in truth, we are

Often surprised

To find our assumptions

Crashing into invisible walls...


Which separate conscious awareness from

Subconscious fears that we hide from ourselves

As long as our minds focus upon

The little that can be seen
 on the surface of life


We'll be blind to the existence of defensive walls

Which separate the conscious side of our minds

From the subconscious side where

Emotional traffic jams blur our sense of clarity

Until life, as a whole, makes little sense at all

As long as defensive walls block conscious awareness

From identifying emotional complexities

Buried deep within the subconscious side of our minds

We'll not detect the ways in which

Defense mechanisms separate our honest emotions

From the ‘lies’ that we unknowingly tell ourselves ...

In order to create a false sense of emotional security

As long as the persona
Which we 'wear' to fend off unnamed fears
Believes in a passel of partial truths

We'll have no clue as to how often self-conceived falsehoods

Cause our perceptions to shift away from center in this way:

We remember ‘this’ while forgetting ‘that’

And once we've reshaped history within our memory banks

It's easy to believe that our

White washed or darkly colored misperceptions

Are as pure as the driven snow—

A long as our subconscious insecurities

Remain hidden behind the persona ...

In subconscious pockets of our minds

We'll not sense those times when defensive walls

Block all sense of conscious awareness

Concerning unpleasant truths that we're too scared to confront

If more of us choose to understand

The contradicting functions of the human brain

Which transform clarity of thought
Into confusion that makes little sense
Then we may stop feeling the need to

Kill the messenger

Who stands up in hopes of confronting
 Closed mind sets ...

Holding Socrates’ suggestion in hand:

KNOW THYSELF

You see, it is the job of the persona to shield
The conscious mind of a traumatized child from terrors
Which Mother Nature had tucked away behind the persona
In this way doth Mother Nature provide
The deeply wounded portion of an innocent mind
With safe passage in the aftermath of tragedy
So that the rest of the mind can function, day to day

On the other hand
If our personas have reason to layer up
As childhood advances forward

The memory bank tends to believe that every fabrication

We'd once needed to invent—in order to feel safe—

Is true—through and through

Each time we discuss self fabricated rationalizations
Which we assume to be made up of facts ...

The impressionable ears of our listeners presume

That we know of what we speak—
And as we entice people to align with our thoughts
The more certain we become that the fabrications
 Upon which our persona's false sense of personal safety—
Depends—are true blue

And that is why these classic words penned by the bard
Continue to ring true to this day:

ALAS—What tangled webs we mortals weave

As long as our defense systems' stubborn streaks

Blind us to our need to run away from unnamed fears

Buried deep within subconscious pockets of our minds

Adults will not comprehend the need

To reflect over emotional complexities

With a greater sense of knowledge than ever before
And as long as closed mindsets
Refuse to reconsider assumptions
Leading to false judgements
The narrow minded fend off personal growth

By the way …

Do you know why 'knowledge is power'?

Because knowledge empowers us

To know ourselves—

Not as we assume ourselves to be—

But rather as we truly are

Deep inside—where subconscious fear
Plays hide and seek with intelligent minds


Ass we come to know more about
Our own negatively focused traits
Which direct fearful trains of thought
To swerve off track in order to hide
Truths too painful to expose from
one's own sense of conscious awareness
We come to know more about
The traits others hide behind their personas, too


And the more we understand
About the self defeating ways in which
Families and friends interact
The less crazy family life
And relationships in general ...
Throughout the world as a whole tend to be

 I often wonder how long

The spirits of sages will need to

Whisper words of wisdom into

The ears of succeeding generations

Before the 'moral' majority

Thinks to relate insights into life—
Which we see, hear, read about

And watch at the movies—

To the same-old frustrations that we

Fail to comprehend and mend
Concerning our own lives

Day after day—year after year?

As long as we fail to see how frequently

We fabricate half truths, here and there

We'll fail to slam on the brakes fast enough

To stop our misperceived judgments

From driving another deeply valued relationship into

One of our own defensive walls of denial

As long as we have no conscious awareness of

Fears, hiding behind our many-layered personas

We'll not be able to confront deeper truths

Which had confounded our minds

When life had overwhelmed our

Undeveloped sense of logic

During childhood

Though the light side of imagination

Serves to delight us during playtime

Imagination proves to be our greatest foil

When conflict resolution

Is the name of the game

If we have no conscious awareness

Of when our persona's bravado

Is doing our thinking

Listening and speaking

Then we'll remain blind to the true state of

Our own fractured sense of personal security—indefinitely

As long as defensive walls

Remain stubbornly invisible

A person's mental block against

Childhood terrors will freeze the mindsets
Of an adult within that traumatized state of being ...

Where self-fabricated falsehoods

Lead our thought processors into mind mazes
So far off target ...

That heartfelt goals remain out of reach


Empowered with the knowledge
Presented within books and blogs


We can enrich our minds and lives ...
And thus, empowered by insight
Which accompanies knowledge


I’d planned to show you, story by story


How, when, and why
I’d lost sight of my potential to develop

Specific inner strengths

In the aftermath of my sister Janet's death


Ever since I began to absorb knowledge
Concerning the interactive functions
Of the human brain
I've empowered myself to

Make good use of my mind as a whole—

And since change
Is the only constant in life
I continue to work, consciously, to pinpoint
The main sources of emotional confusion

Which may continue to cause vital aspects of

My personal or professional life

To turn upside down
As the sun sets on one day
When all seems peaceful and well
Only to rise in the morning
To learn that all that I'd perceived to be well
Is not all there is to know ... 

Today, I’ve come to view confusion as a signal
Sent by the brain, transmitting a message
Which suggests my need to reconsider

Whether or not an unresolved childhood fear

Has had reason to stir within
A pocket of my mind in such a dysfunctional way
As to cause me to believe that some aspect of my life

Is churning in an upside down state, today

Once I understand which aspect of my life

Has been churning upside down

For too long
I ask myself to reconsider anything
That may have changed
Which makes today feel insecure inside
When, before this change, I'd felt peaceful, before


I wonder if you can name
The culprit
Who has had the power
To upend my sense of inner peace
In the past?
The name of of this character trait
That devils my sense of security
Is none other than Distrust
In terms of:
Who can I trust
When I can't trust my conscious awareness
To trust that I know what's actually going on?


As life offers me reason to confront questions
Concerning TRUST, repeatedly
I can offer the answer that satisfies my curiosity
Most often:
I've come to place my trust
In my brain's subconscious ability to mull over
Puzzling events, which I cannot yet fathom
Until my mind as a whole grows so pregnant
With need for clarity
That my subconscious gives birth
To some classic insight
Concerning emotional complexities
Which had confound my sense of security
When I was a kid


Once the main root of the complexity
That injured my sense of self trust during childhood
Emerges as simply and clearly as you please
The irritation churning within my mind relaxes
On the other hand ... need I state that
The astute nature of that kind of processing
Doth not come without hunkering down
On Walden Pond?


You see, having reached this point in my life
I've worked to absorb the the necessary tools
To mine my mind for knowledge
That has been stored in the files
Of my memory bank

And thus, when sadness, anger or confusion persists, over long

This awareness dawns:
The time is ripe to turn my adult brain

Inside out

In hopes of ferreting out a tool
That may excavate a subconscious fear

Left unprocessed from childhood
Which is, once again, lumbering around
Wrecking havoc with The Days of My Life

By haunting my sense of inner peace

And so, as I blog along, from day to day

Sometimes you shall see

Stories, riddles, commentary or a taste test of all

Popping up on your screen—

Why?
Because my blog simulates the step-by-step process
That entices my mind to examine confusion
Until clarity is mine


And thus do I ask you to muster the patience
Until such time as I feel a natural inclination

To describe this series of mind bending tools


Which provides me with the clarity


To tune into  fearsome vulnerabilities
That narrow my mind sets
Thus causing certain inner strengths
To remain half baked



As as you watch me
Confront fully baked strengths
Half baked strengths and full blown vulnerabilities
You, too, may more easily develop
A deeper sense of clarity
 into
Both sides of human nature
Which exist within us all


 

If you muster the patience
To watch me continue to work at


Exhuming subconscious fears
Whlle I work at rewiring
Traumatized portions of my mind—


Which had caused me to self-defeat—

Unknowingly, repeatedly

Then post by post
We'll see what pops out of my thought processor
While we're trekking back and forth across the time line ...

Visiting specific experiences

Which had caused certain stages of my development

To flash-freeze in time

You see, by continuing to collect bread crumbs—


As well as insights, we can explore

A series of disjointed and yet interrelated experiences


Which caused certain aspects of

My emotional development to petrify

When the dark side of imagination
Played tricks on my mind
During those halcyon days of childhood

Hopefully, while riding sidekick next to me

You, too, may come to see
 why I say it is possible


To have one’s cake and eat it too!


On the other hand, if you feel the need

To ask skeptically:


Annie—now really!—how can that be?


Then I’ll reply:



As you watch me


Continue to reprocess, redigest and reabsorb

Misperceptions
, which had caused

Many of my conscious decisions


To smash into subconscious fears—


Then you, like me, may choose to re-explore

Your early life experiences

In such a way as to identify and neutralize

Your unnamed fears, as well

And with that plan in mind

My blog may provide a vehicle

In which folks, the world over, may choose

To munch over this and that

While deciding whether or not

It makes sense to match up your inner life with your outer life

With this hope in mind:
As we develop a mindful sense of conscious awareness

The common good of one and all may be served, as never before

And thus do I show up
Day after day
Hoping to entice the minds of friends
I've yet to meet

To tune into those areas

Where your inner life and outer life may not yet match


It is my fervent hope that, with time
Many minds may digest this nourishing fact:


Each time we muster the courage to break down

Another layer of our personas' defensive walls

We'll grow able to know the sum of our traits—
As a whole

And as we look at both sides of human nature
In terms of oneself
We may build strong relationships
With those whom we love but can not abide
As long as conflicts are shoved under the rug

Once we come to know ourselves well enough to

Comprehend childhood insecurities, unhealed pain
Glaring vulnerabilities and half baked strengths
Our unnamed anxieties will wain

Thus ensuring that peace of mind will not

Feel like grinding it’s teeth while listening

To others misperceive this or that about you or me


Rather than burning with anger or shame
Thus frying logical thought to a crisp
You'll watch me retrain my thought processor
To cool down
Think deep
And answer with the power of knowledge
That comes from knowing oneself



If at this time you'd like to ask:

Annie, are you suggesting that upon matching

One's inner and outer lives

We may embrace the opportunity

To have our cake and eat it too?


Then I'd reply:


Well my friends


Here is all I can say, conclusively, at this time

If you muster the patience to stick with me


Then together, we shall see


How miraculous changes tend to enrich relationships
Which had once been hanging from the edge of cliffs


However in order to do that statement justice
I need to show you how defensive walls go up
How personas layer up and
How narrow mind sets crack relationships in half
Before I can show you those tools with which

I dismantled Denial's walls
Whenever my conscious awareness
Got a signal from my brain
That stated:
Annie, get ready to blow your horn
Because it's time for another Wall of Jerico
To come tumbling down

Each time another subconscious wall comes down

Nothing impedes my inner life and outer life

From thinking, listening, speaking reacting
And problem solving

Like a wholly calm, human being
And thus, at those times
When puzzles turn into bigger pictures that make sense
I fully appreciate the fact that I am me—and
Perhaps, once the grass stops looking greener

On the other side of the fence

That is when we’ll have our cake and eat it, too

Whereas divided from our inner strengths

We fail ourselves and our loved ones, too

United we succeed by transforming
Idealistic pipe dreams
(as in FIRST KISS)

Into realistic and thus attainable goals
Once we develop conscious awareness into
Truly taking both sides into mindful consideration

And now, if you ask:


Annie, how can you surmise


That insight into life
Which proves true for you may prove true for me?

I'd reply:
  Instinct empowers me to suggest that

With patience, classic insight into answers, concerning

The complexities of love and life


Will emerge,  my friends, one post at a time


And though I'm no
Socrates or Shakespeare
By any means
I know how to read
And I know how to write
And by reading and writing
I can make use of the internet to
Spread that which I learn from the sages
Throughout the world
One post at a time

As to why I believe insights

Which have yet to appear in my blog

Will allow us to enjoy our cake and eat it too ...

Well
 I've literally made it my business

To collect classic insights

Which brighten both sides of my mind …


Like fireflies lighting up the darkest days of my life


And as classic insights prove to be

Timeless and universal

Common sense suggests that, day by day

You, too, may come see your way toward

Carving a path of your own


Where your haunting fears may be relieved

And once your mind is free of unnerving insecurites
You may see your way clear to retrieving innate, self-nourishing

Inner strengths, along with me

As for now


I'll wind down for today


With this last interrelated train of thought:


I do not write with hopes of applause

Why not?


Because every morsel of clarity that I glean

During my writing, rereading and rewriting process


Continues to provide

More than enough reward for me



You see, by way of clarifying complex thoughts

Day after day


I come to know what takes place deep inside my mind

More simply, completely and thus more enrichingly


Than I did the day before


Therefore rather than writing to 'impress'


My goal remains focused upon

Reaching within for the courage and humility


To live my life in such a way as to feel graced

By a greater sense of inner peace


And if inner peace serves as

One's just reward
 for a life well lived


Then what, my friends

Could prove to be more rewarding

In and of itself, than that?



On the other hand


If anything I write or say


Offers aid to you in your time of need


Then the nurturing side of the teacher in me—

Who yearns to share mind-strengthening nutrients
Wherever I go

Will feel deeply enriched, as well


And as I feel

Personally and professionally enriched, right now

I'll close for today with an insight


Which my kids have heard me recite, time and again:

Here is insight into two of the most important choices

You'll ever make—

Behind door number one you'll find a path

Leading toward the profession you’ll choose to practice
Behind door number two you'll find a path


Leading toward the person you’ll choose as your life partner


As to why I believe those two doors prove to be

Classically, universally and vitally important to peace of mind?


Well—


The profession you choose

Is what you'll do, every day


Your life partner is the person

To whom you'll come home, each night

Once you develop a deep sense of appreciation

For the path that enriches both sides of your life


You'll be able to handle

Whatever fate throws your way


However, if you can't seem to get a firm 'handle'

On one side of your life or the other then—

Guess what time it must be?

It's brain peeling, bread-crumb-collecting time


Why?  Because:

We can’t be true to oneself or to others until

The persona, with which we fool ourselves, falls off

Once we can see the need to identify

Subconscious fears

Which breathe negative energy

Into character traits
That limit our perceptions
Thus forming narrow minded attitudes
Which lead us straight to self defeat …

That's when we begin to figure out

How to iron out wrinkles in time

Which had perrmanently pressed

Misperceptions into our minds
(Whew!)

And now, having tied today’s long list of insights

In a neat bow

I invite you to watch me

Work to develop inner strengths and sensitivities

Which I'd once presumed

To be fully baked

If you can continue to muster the patience

To trudge through the maze of my mind

In post after post

Then I believe you may come to see your way

Toward forging a path, whereby

Your sights will spy half-baked strengths
More quickly than I did

And once half baked strengths
Are examined and placed back into the oven
You'll see your way to being true to both sides of yourself—

Through and through

Then, having mustered the courage

To be true to yourself, through and through

You may muster the humility

To identify defensive traits

Which had unknowingly

'Pushed' certain people away ...

Most especially at those times when

Your  subconscious fears

Had solified misperceiving mind sets

That fortified your  persona’s

False sense of safety by

Repeatedly, though unknowingly

‘Putting down’ any 'messenger'

Whose opinion had disagreed with

Whatever you'd felt the need to believe

In order to justify the victimization

Of yourself

Once your mind develops

The bevy of strengths necessary

To see and accept those times when

Courage and fear vie for space

Inside the same mind

Inner conflict will resolve
And inconsistency will no longer defeat you

From achieving your heartfelt goals

As you grow to see and accept

Both sides of yourself as a whole

You'll come to see and accept

Both sides of others, as well

And once the vital nature of those reassessments

Provides your adult mind with the clarity

To rebalance your point of view

The narrow focus of yesterday’s insecure mindsets

Which had originally imprisoned youthful perceptions

Within a maze where an overwhelming sense of

Emotional complexity had caused reactiveness

To reign supreme

May be overthrown by logic, once and for all

On the other hand

None of this have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too

Clear minded reasoning can come to fruition

Until defensive walls

Which separate your conscious mental acuity

From your subconscious fears come tumbling down

If mental clarity is to usurp the throne

And reign over confusion

Then you’ll need to reconnect

With two of the mightiest inner strengths of all

And I won’t name either one, again

At least not today

Because I’ve already tossed them in the air

Too many times, already

Your friend,

Annie

PS

If you look at this mind bending stuff

As an exhausting feat

May I be so bold

As to suggest that you check out your mirror
And wipe your ‘down-in-the-mouth

Bah humbug attitude out of your mind, tout suite?

If one looks at working through inner conflict

As a dark journey

Then a dark journey life shall continue to be

If one unknowingly yearns toward recapturing

An idealized version of life

Then don't be surprised to find yourself

Splat on the pavement

Like a sitting duck with a broken wing

Blindsided by birdshot from your very own gun 

Perhaps the human mind

Is in need of comparing life not to a lark

But to a chicken in this way:

Some parts of each life resemble light meat

While other parts grow dark

But both the light and the dark are meant to nourish

Our understanding of life in their own ways

What we must not do

Is to relate to life in the same way

That a chicken is doomed to do

In that the mind of a chicken is limited

To pecking and clucking

And nothing that chicken squawks about

Can change its life for the better

Thank goodness, Mother Nature

Provides each human brain

With the potential to develop

Mature thinking, listening, reasoning and speaking skills

Which provide family life with the possibility

Of resolving conflicts in mutually respectful

And therefore, trustful ways ...

Thus allowing a group of complex individuals

To work toward clarifying complexities
In hopes of embracing changes for the better—

No matter our gender or age—

And thus
One step at a time

Day by day

You may see your way to agree

That once old dogs open to expand their mindsets

We can make good use of our brains

To learn new tricks
By grabbing hold of new tools
Which will show us how to create change for the better—

All around—


I mean think about it ...

Makes much more sense
To accept change—that's bound to take place

Then to go on henpecking, clucking, squawking

And raising the roof with a whole lot of mindless crowing

While flinging blame back and forth …

Until more than half of the marriages

Made in heaven

Tumble into the burning hell of divorce court

Where the insidious nature of defensiveness

Strangles the breath out of love and friendship
Leaving children with no clue as to whom to place their trust ...

And now, having worked to clarify all of that (? Double-Whew!)

My mind refuses to conjure up even one more insight

And thus am I 100% done with posting, today …