The months following Lauren’s birth pass, cautiously, uneventfully, even cheerfully until one evening, when Dad, finally, convinces Mom to leave her two, small, healthy daughters in the care of his sister, our adoring aunt, so he and his sweetheart can enjoy each other’s company away from the family. My aunt, the elder of Dad's two kid sisters, is not chosen as caretaker, because Mom has lost trust in Grandma. Grandma is wintering in Miami Beach, at home, with her eldest son's family as is her habit.
When my parents return at about 11PM, Mom makes a beeline for her bedroom, leans over the railing of the crib and places her palm, lightly, on her infant daughter's back to make certain that Lauren is breathing. This is Mom's habit—several times during each of my sister's naps. *Subconscious fear never strays from the conscious mind.
Each night, Mom pulls my sister's crib snugly against her side of the double bed, which she shares with Dad. Through the night, Mom sleeps lightly, facing Lauren, with one arm between the slats of the crib. In this way her hand, resting protectively on her infant's back, rises and falls gently in time with Lauren's intake and exhale of breath. Each morning, before making the bed, Mom pushes the crib back to the wall. *When fear runs the show, inner peace is displaced by a push, pull, push, pull reaction, which hits a wall, indefinitely.
In retrospect, Dad must be quite convincing to get Mom to leave the house while Lauren is sound asleep. Does Mom enjoy a rollicking good time or do nerves get the best of her? Upon returning home, later in the evening, a coincidence occurs, which provides us with three insights:
In retrospect, Dad must be quite convincing to get Mom to leave the house while Lauren is sound asleep. Does Mom enjoy a rollicking good time or do nerves get the best of her? Upon returning home, later in the evening, a coincidence occurs, which provides us with three insights:
—Everything happens for a reason, but not necessarily for a ‘good’ reason.
—Two situations, which, at first glance, seem exactly the same, may prove clearly dissimilar once the surface is pierced and details distinguish one experience from the other.
—No matter our most valiant efforts to understand conception, life, love, friendship, luck, fate, human nature, justice, illness, death, innate intelligence and the impassioned sensitivities of human emotion, unnerving mysteries prevail. Knowing this, we tread carefully until a leap of faith proves vital to personal growth.
Before I describe the arcane set of events, which are about to terrify and mystify my parents, please note that this story is not meant to provide insight into the existence of a protective or wrathful God. In fact, for the most part, my stories do not express my beliefs about God or insight into the meaning of life and death.
My purpose in writing this saga expresses this belief: Much of what we consider to be resultant of fate proves to be a combination of fate, luck, wit and choice. My stories showcase vulnerabilities and potential strengths, which are inherent in the men, women, and children, who keep America strong by remaining attached to solid principles, heartfelt values, and moral fiber, no matter what goes awry.
*This saga is my heartfelt attempt to explain the profound affect that both sides of human nature have on the mind's innate potential to solve personal problems by tunneling toward insights until deeper truths emerge. *Each time a deeper truth clarifies in 3D, my perceptions sharpen. With sharpened perception, insights create a chain reaction, which expands my train of thought until epiphany illuminates the light at the end of a tunnel, whereby my mind switches tracks. In most cases, epiphany catalyzes a change in direction, in this manner: Time spent in quiet reflection strikes a match with insight. This match between reflection and insight ignites an electrical surge within my mind that sparks my thought processor to stand up attentively and assemble details, which broaden my scope. Eventually, I sense the bigger picture, which, in lieu of the chain reaction, had gone unseen. *At this point, while making good use of my intelligence and mustering the patience to see what develops, concerning the bigger picture, I watch the sum of my strengths work in tandem. And thus, rather than surviving, blindly, in Denialand after tragedy strikes, my mind, heart and spirit learn to thrive, more wholly than ever before. Whew! You might want to read that twice. I know I did! Needless to say, my reactions had been quite different before I chose to walk this path of self awareness. *In short, you and I are in the process of watching me train my brain to place intelligence in control of defensive impulses, which subconscious fears ignite, naturally, within us all.
*This saga is my heartfelt attempt to explain the profound affect that both sides of human nature have on the mind's innate potential to solve personal problems by tunneling toward insights until deeper truths emerge. *Each time a deeper truth clarifies in 3D, my perceptions sharpen. With sharpened perception, insights create a chain reaction, which expands my train of thought until epiphany illuminates the light at the end of a tunnel, whereby my mind switches tracks. In most cases, epiphany catalyzes a change in direction, in this manner: Time spent in quiet reflection strikes a match with insight. This match between reflection and insight ignites an electrical surge within my mind that sparks my thought processor to stand up attentively and assemble details, which broaden my scope. Eventually, I sense the bigger picture, which, in lieu of the chain reaction, had gone unseen. *At this point, while making good use of my intelligence and mustering the patience to see what develops, concerning the bigger picture, I watch the sum of my strengths work in tandem. And thus, rather than surviving, blindly, in Denialand after tragedy strikes, my mind, heart and spirit learn to thrive, more wholly than ever before. Whew! You might want to read that twice. I know I did! Needless to say, my reactions had been quite different before I chose to walk this path of self awareness. *In short, you and I are in the process of watching me train my brain to place intelligence in control of defensive impulses, which subconscious fears ignite, naturally, within us all.
Each time you watch me bare another deeply personal revelation, I'll be shining a spotlight on this belief: *Our hearts are meant to flourish, soar and love deeply. However, our ability to achieve this 'state of being' relies upon filling our minds with knowledge that supports generosity of spirit. As generosity of spirit relies upon the adoption of positively focused thoughts, a bevy of fully baked, strengths must work to penetrate defensive walls before the Neo cortex can hope to recognize unmet needs. If you asked: What can we expect to happen when unmet needs remain unidentified? I'd respond: When needs are blocked by defensive walls, inconsistencies lay in wait to be uncovered at our core. Once personal strengths nourish unmet needs, a person's innate potential for success in many aspects of life may be explored. Double whew!
As parents in my classes become acquainted with five tools, which provide me with problem solving success—more often than not, many feel encouraged to adopt and role model open-minded attitudes during the crucial years of their children’s development. While brainstorming in a mutually supportive environment, we touch upon each person's need to recognize and modify negatively focused insecurities, which create fearful attitudes, perceptions, judgments and actions, many of which prove inconsistent with reality. As adults grow self aware and work toward consistency in terms of self improvement, it’s likely that, over time, offspring will mimic open-minded, heartfelt priorities and high-principled values, which build high self esteem, all around. (In keeping with: 'Out of the mouths of babes' and 'truer words were never spoken': I remember my oldest child suggesting … “Mom, I think everything you’re learning to strengthen us is rubbing off on you, too.” RR&R) As you shall see, it has been my habit to discuss my goals for our family with my family. It's also my habit to listen, attentively, when my offspring set personal goals, which differ from those I have in mind. This is the stuff that strengthens mutual respect.
If we hope to raise today's children in a nation, which adheres to high-principled values, then adults would be wise to identify and tame their own self indulgent, egocentric (insecure) traits, so that we, who raise the future leaders of America, inject traits like—kindness, compassion, generosity, courage, humility, open-minded accountability, and the natural high of exuberant joy—into attitudes role modeled at home. It's one thing to invest our lives with a creative, childlike sense of wonder. It's another to be childish. As our minds absorb strings of insights, which make good use of our intelligence, we differentiate between the two and tend to practice what we preach. Over all, experience suggests that developing the ability to prioritize emotionally mature values, with consistency, is not for sissies.
Presently we're watching our nation endure the consequences of THE ME GENERATION. Currently, we're experiencing the results of having swerved off center to feed our desire for IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION. As a result of what we've brought upon ourselves, the older generation looks to younger leaders to bale us out. What makes me say this? In many aspects of life, today's youth watch adults breaking one golden rule after another. When heads shake and people wonder aloud: What's wrong with today's youth? ... I hope we'll remove our blinders and make our way out of Denialand, really soon! In short, many children have been short changed by leaders in all walks of life, who've continued to close their eyes to this fact: At the onset of the sixties, a significant change occurred. This change propelled adults to wander down a path and into a maze, which has off-handedly offered our youngsters' minds a badly nourished, FAST FOOD NATION. In short, as the values of baby boomers altered in injurious ways, we've saddled our young with lots of spills to mop up. If the mind is a sponge, then much of today's shallowness, which we've soaked in, is in need of change. Having wandered this deeply into Denialand, the time for change proves to be NOW—or else! When I implore—Change now or else?—what does that mean? If many of us who make up the bell shaped curve don't change our attitudes, soon, Jack and Jill will keep sliding downhill. In short, lasting change for the better always depends upon attitude and timing for this reason: Attitude and timing are everything. Therefore, if each one does not accept responsibility for that which has undermined the strength of our families, our great nation will surely fall, as did Rome. More about facing that portion of REALITY's bigger picture at such time when those insights swarm into my mind.
As an adult, parent and teacher, I recognize and embrace my role as a leader of youth. Knowing that no other person can lead me toward treading an open minded, patient path in terms of personal growth, I work to empower myself . If asked how one works to create lasting change in oneself, here is what I'd say: Embrace the value of objective reflection. Why? *In the absence of objectivity, self awareness is obliterated.
Recently, a wise person offered this insight to me: *"Personal strengths provide us with a sense of safety. For a child, the parent provides the strength and thus the safety." As each generation confers the baton of leadership on to our children, the older generation always depends upon empowering offspring to lead us to safety during our golden years. And so it goes ... with one hitch: *If we want our offspring to grow toward high levels of maturity, guess who must adopt realistic attitudes and rebalanced views? If we want our nation to make it's way out of this maze of our own making, guess who must embrace Golden Rules? *If today is the first day of the rest of our lives, then common sense suggests that passing the buck stops here.
Presently we're watching our nation endure the consequences of THE ME GENERATION. Currently, we're experiencing the results of having swerved off center to feed our desire for IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION. As a result of what we've brought upon ourselves, the older generation looks to younger leaders to bale us out. What makes me say this? In many aspects of life, today's youth watch adults breaking one golden rule after another. When heads shake and people wonder aloud: What's wrong with today's youth? ... I hope we'll remove our blinders and make our way out of Denialand, really soon! In short, many children have been short changed by leaders in all walks of life, who've continued to close their eyes to this fact: At the onset of the sixties, a significant change occurred. This change propelled adults to wander down a path and into a maze, which has off-handedly offered our youngsters' minds a badly nourished, FAST FOOD NATION. In short, as the values of baby boomers altered in injurious ways, we've saddled our young with lots of spills to mop up. If the mind is a sponge, then much of today's shallowness, which we've soaked in, is in need of change. Having wandered this deeply into Denialand, the time for change proves to be NOW—or else! When I implore—Change now or else?—what does that mean? If many of us who make up the bell shaped curve don't change our attitudes, soon, Jack and Jill will keep sliding downhill. In short, lasting change for the better always depends upon attitude and timing for this reason: Attitude and timing are everything. Therefore, if each one does not accept responsibility for that which has undermined the strength of our families, our great nation will surely fall, as did Rome. More about facing that portion of REALITY's bigger picture at such time when those insights swarm into my mind.
As an adult, parent and teacher, I recognize and embrace my role as a leader of youth. Knowing that no other person can lead me toward treading an open minded, patient path in terms of personal growth, I work to empower myself . If asked how one works to create lasting change in oneself, here is what I'd say: Embrace the value of objective reflection. Why? *In the absence of objectivity, self awareness is obliterated.
Recently, a wise person offered this insight to me: *"Personal strengths provide us with a sense of safety. For a child, the parent provides the strength and thus the safety." As each generation confers the baton of leadership on to our children, the older generation always depends upon empowering offspring to lead us to safety during our golden years. And so it goes ... with one hitch: *If we want our offspring to grow toward high levels of maturity, guess who must adopt realistic attitudes and rebalanced views? If we want our nation to make it's way out of this maze of our own making, guess who must embrace Golden Rules? *If today is the first day of the rest of our lives, then common sense suggests that passing the buck stops here.
Just as ‘monkey-see-monkey-do' is born with the innate potential to grow wiser today than yesterday, open-minded adults approach countless forks in the road where each may choose to carve new channels of thought, regardless of age. *As seeing is believing, it's my plan to spotlighting insights, such as these, in stories to come, so you can see how my escape from Denialand was achieved. Ever since my quest for self awareness began, I've spied forks in the road, which provide me with opportunities to revisit mistakes and go back to the drawing board as life unfolds. As you can imagine, I never find life boring. Not even when serious injury kept me bed bound for more than a year. Think to know me? Wait a bit. Take another look and think again. Think to know yourself? Take a deeper look and think again. Why? Nothing alive stays the same, very long. Everything that lives grows and thrives or shrivels, shrinks and dies. Our spirits and minds are alive. When was the last time you checked out the state of your attitudes, which fuel your spirit? Are you surviving? Or thriving? Stuck in the muck? Inching forward? Leaping across chasms (caused by the erosion of fear), or are you fooled by the myth of movement, described in a previous post? Does some portion of your awareness hide out in Denialand or are you consciously tuning into reality? In one way or another we all need to restart some aspect of retarded development. Unfortunately, the kind of jumpstart that expands our vision usually requires some form of shock therapy. You know, like jolts of emotional chemotherapy. Sorry folks. I wish that was not so. But it is. Why? Well, my friends ... That's life. And no one said life is fair. If you hold grudges about that which feels unfair, guess which attitude is most in need of change?
When I reflect upon that which fate has in store for my parents on this night when Dad finally persuades Mom to have some fun and leave Lauren and me in the hands of fate, I’m reminded of how courageous our spirits must be to weather the whiplash of life’s sudden storms and how hard the mind must work to accept scary mysteries, which go unsolved …
If this post is in need of editing, please bear with me for a while. Somehow, my head is tired. I wonder why that's so ... ;-)
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