A HEALTHY CANCER PATIENT—THAT WOULD BE ME

Whatever the task at hand, it’s been my experience that approaching it with a determined attitude of peacefulness is the best way to achieve success.   

Throughout my first month of oral chemo, I’d thankfully experienced minimal side effects.  We’re hoping hard that this chemo protocol has been smashing cancer cells, which traveling through my blood stream, leave a tumor in its wake, here or there.  

Though my natural reaction to each unwelcome tumor is met with disappointed frustration, my chosen attitude refocuses my mind toward acceptance of the inevitable.  You see, my focus has changed from being cancer free to appreciating every day that I have left to freely offer and receive love from family and friends

Over recent months, the tumor in my left flank was surgically removed.  And we’ll not know the effectiveness of this current chemo protocol till mid December when my PET and CT scans are scheduled.  Until that time, we remain hopeful that chemo is attacking the tumor in my neck   Right now, I’m thankful for every day that, though fatigued, I don’t feel ill.

Last night, my two week hiatus from chemo came to an end, which means my second month of oral chemo has begun differently than had been true first time around, as nausea woke me, today, at 5AM, and shortly thereafter, I felt need to reach for the bowl that Will had placed at my bedside, just in case.  By 5:10, I was flushing the contents within said bowl down the commode, followed by rinsing said bowl (and my mouth) at the master bathroom sink, and having brushed my teeth and swirled mouthwash, I’d headed back to bed in hopes of resuming my night’s sleep, which thankfully  I did.

 Once my disappointment concerning nausea awakening me at 5AM had passed, my attitude of gratefulness refocused upon the fact that thus far, all of the components that make up my blood are within the range of normal, and all of my organs are functioning well.

A month ago, I’d worried about beginning with chemo, again, because during these past three years, my emergency hospitalizations had been exceptionally severe.  And that’s why I’m relieved to say that, thus far, this protocol, which awakened my sense of nausea, this morning, has been easily tolerated.  Now let’s hope this current chemo protocol has been as mean and ornery to cancer cells as it has been kind to me.

As it’s highly likely that I’ll be on chemo for the rest of my life, I sure do hope to find that my present protocol is working up to snuff, because as fatigued as I feel, once this morning’s brief bout with nausea had past, Ive not felt ill for the rest of the day.

In fact, other than hosting stage four cancer, which fatigues my source of physical energy, I feel like a very healthy person as long as I’m sitting or lying down.

We just returned from a wonderful week in southern California.  (The photo with Barry and David shows my sons encouraging me to walk back and forth through my house with the sound track to Rocky playing on David’s iPhone, in hopes of increasing my incentive to pick up the pace).  If there’s one thing I have consistently in abundance that would be loving, supportive encouragement on the part of family and friends, which, over these past three years has lifted my spirit and Will’s to float forward on a love boat made of leak proof hope.  Hope for what?  Hope that my lifespan will be extended painlessly via the innovations of modern medical science for as long as possible.

As for today, I wish you a Halloween with no tricks, all treats.  Over the weekend, Will and I enjoyed an hour on our friend’s patio, during our neighborhood’s potluck Halloween party, at which time we enjoyed friends whom we’d not seen in three years.  Beside our hostess, I was the only one who showed up in costume.

This funny hat showed up on line, and when I saw the ears wiggling back and forth, I knew it had to be mine.  Our hostess laughed and said—I knew if only one person showed up in costume that would be you!

🙋🏻‍♀️😊🎃👻😱Annie