Yesterday, during an insightful session, via FaceTime, with my therapist, I was made aware of the fact that much of what I tell myself is anxiety may actually be the arousal of an overwhelming sense of grief, based in a trauma, suffered during early childhood. And anything that remotely resembles the terrifying nature of that early childhood experience, today, will trigger my basic instinct to stimulate that latent sense of unnamed terror to emerge from subconscious repression, thus hot wiring my youthful reaction to my current emotional reaction, indicating an attack of PTSD.
You see, as a small child, I’d experienced sound reason to live in a constant state of anxiety, my only sense of personal safety experienced when my father returned, each evening, from work. And thus, the depths of today’s latent sense of overwhelming grief is based in whatever has aroused subconscious memory of yesteryear’s loss of my inner peace and peace of mind, which, as you may remember from a previous post, are not defined as one and the same. More about that difference, tomorrow, because this question just came to mind—
Will this slice of information concerning latent uprisings of yesteryear’s overwhelming sense of grief stop stimulating my anxiety to spike, today? We’ll just have to wait snd see.
On the other hand, the fact that knowledge is power encourages my sense of positive focus to fill my mind with hope.👩🏻🌷
🚣♀️Annie
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