Each time I remind myself that anxiety spikes to alert me that I feel threatened by a near and present danger (which may not be closing in, because reality suggests that my mind, flooding with fear, can jumpstart my imagination to conjure up a danger that’s not yet taking place) mental tension, squeezing my think tank into a negatively focused mindset, begins to subside at least enough so that my thought processor expands as though to accommodate a positively focused insight, which serves to soothe my basic survival instinct’s urgency to save my life from impending disaster once I can see that whatever I’m fearing is not actually appearing. Whew!
As my survival instinct retreats and logical thought patterns return, my brain stops flooding with adrenalin (which readies all of me to fight, flee or freeze with immediacy). Once logical thought patterns are no longer drowning in adrenalin, my intuitive voice is freed to inform the conscious portion of my mind that I am NOT actually facing imminent danger.
The fact that I am NOT in imminent danger of succumbing to COVID suggests that my basic survival instinct was in need of retreating as soon as I’d chosen to protect myself from possible harm by way of cocooning, again. Had my basic survival instinct retreated with immediacy, my think tank would have heard my power of intuition whispering this mind soothing message of deeper truth into my ear days earlier than, today:
Annie, you are not alone with your fear of COVID. Millions of fully vaccinated, boostered people are, like you, in need of an Ark that will save your smarts from drowning in premature fear.
Your decision to quarantine seriously, again, is wise, highlighting the fact that, given time for a smooth transition, all of the many me’s who vie for space inside your think tank will, once again, agree to silence the cacophony of their voices so as to place your Power of Intuition firmly in charge of your thought processor, suggesting that as spikes of anxiety lessen, peace of mind concerning your sense of safety will, once again, occupy most of your brain space.
On the upside, Friday saw us enjoying Ravi for about two hours that flew by.
Then David and I (mostly David) deleted everything from my old IPhone, and though I did next to nothing, the mere thought of keeping up to date with today’s rapidly changing technology felt so complex as to dizzy my mind.
I’ve also been stressing over the fact that Steven has felt unwell for more than a month. And my stress has compounded by the fact of our having come so close to enjoying Barry, Marie, Tony and Ray only to see this upsurge of COVID capsize our plans to be together on our patio from Sunday-Wednesday. And the fact that we’ve not been together since July, makes me miss my son and his family all the more.
Right before all of these stressors caused my mental energy to burn out, I envisioned the aforementioned Ark (so spacious as to be refuge for millions of fully vaccinated boostered families) floating above all of the negatively focused worries that disturb peace of mind. And each time I feel anxiety on the rise, I picture myself throwing that irritating little varmint overboard, knowing that my imagination conjured up this Ark to keep everyone on board— inclusive of me—safe from drowning in an ocean of premature fear—
The fact that I’m cocooning, again, suggests that my smarts are coaching my survival instinct to stop ringing bells of alarm between my ears as though to alert me of a near and present danger that is not yet closing in. Enough already! Reality is reality—and yet—
I can see nothing wrong with turning down the volume of fear-based emotional uprisings messing around inside my head by stirring a dollop of fantasy into today’s insight-driven train of thought in hopes that my vision of a gently rocking Ark will lull the caged tiger, repressed deep within my mind, to sleep—ala the Life of Pi
Whew!
I also believe that my creation of a well constructed Ark (fortified with well practiced inner strengths—hope, positive focus and creativity being just three of many) is going to come in mighty handy whenever I need to encourage myself to sail smoothly over my fears of family and friends contracting COVID while numbers are, once again, surging, And with thoughts of ‘our’ anxiety soothing Ark in mind, I’d like to wish everyone a happy, healthy, free spirited, safely masked, holiday with hopes that as more of us consent to being vaccinated, COVID will not run so rampant through home after home once we ring out the old year and welcome a return to good health sometime in 2022.
BTW—If you’re rolling your eyes at my folly, you must remember this: In the absence of positively focused hopes, our anxieties would steer The Ark astray—and you can bet your 401K on the fact that that’s not about to happen on my watch!
So if you’ve been fully vaccinated and boostered then
Welcome aboard!🚣♀️
Annie
No comments:
Post a Comment