THE PERENNIAL SOURCE OF MY INNER CONFLICT

Now that I am feeling much more peaceful than had been true over these past two months, here is a brief summation of the inner conflict that led to my exhaustion during the aftermath of my nephew’s death:

First off, I’m relieved to relay that the boulder of self conceived undeserved guilt weighing heavy on my spirit has lifted, and here’s why that happened:  Insight shone a spotlight on the fact that in the aftermath of Shawn’s death, ‘My Fixer’ emerged from within my subconscious, charging me to ‘fix’ whatever feels too painful for my niece (and my sister) to bear, placing me at the helm of my loved ones’ recovery.

Once insight concerning that self-imposed responsibility had clarified for me, my sense of inner conflict evaporated along with my anxiety, suggesting that I can freely feel empathetic and sympathetically supportive without feeling emotionally enmeshed, as if the depth of their distress is my own.

Once my mind felt calmly cocooned within a soothing state of solitude, insight emerged, identifying My Fixer as the primary cause of my subconscious turbulence based in the fact that the only person with expectations of My Fixer taking charge was me.  As soon as My Fixer retreated, my deeply stressed sense of tension (24/7) relaxed, and peace of mind was naturally restored.

Resultant of my belief in the self-empowerment that’s inherent within everyone’s intuitive voice, emotional exhaustion based in unrelenting inner tension evaporated as quickly as insight had freed my spirit of self-imposed undeserved guilt, resulting in the welcome rejuvenation of my love of a life lived well.  🙋🏻‍♀️Annie